"An amazing woman" - yes, indeed...

I'm thinking about my late mother. How much she is loved by many of us. News of her demise spread like wild fire. My brothers' primary, secondary and university friends called, texted... so did mine. Everyone said the same thing - she was an amazing woman. Loving and caring. Always put everyone else before her. Yup - that's my mother.

Even when she was having the flu, she'd wake up in the morning - prepared breakfast for all of us. Always made sure I had something to eat before I go to work. Yes, I was pampered by her... but she taught me everything a young woman should know about household. We are blessed in so many ways and yet, she always made sure I know how to cook and look after a husband like she did. I would be very happy to be half the person that she was.

The day before she left, she told my aunt that she was worried about me. She wasn't worried about me not meeting THE one because she knew that I am happy now. Happier than I have ever been in a long time... she was just worried that she'd never get to see me get married. I believe that is the only wish of hers that she didn't live to see. Every time I replay the conversation I had with my aunt about that and other things, I'd start crying because... I want her with me.. when my wedding day comes... and I know, I know she will be there... but I wish she'd be there in a flesh... to watch me get ready... to see me walk down the aisle.

When she was alive, I would call at least twice a day from work to check up on her and father. Just to chit-chat for a bit till I get home to be with them. Yes I live with my parents and yes, I call them every day! There isn't anything about me that my mother didn't know. If you wanted to share your secrets, my mother was the one you would want to share it with! I know for a fact that she brought my secrets with her to the grave. She has never said anything bad about anyone. No matter how rude a person is to her, she said nothing of it. She has never had an ill thought of anyone... always offering help to everyone around her. She wasn't judgmental. No way! She would talk to anyone... did not matter to her if a person is from a lower class. I remember my aunts telling me that she treated our maid like the maid was one of her siblings....

God I miss her sooo much.....

Loss of a Mother

On the 22nd of Dec at 03:20am - I lost my beloved mother. She was 61.

She left a handsome husband, 3 good looking sons, 1 pretty daughter, 3 beautiful daughters-in-law and 3 gorgeous granddaughters.

My late mother was not sick. She had the occasional headaches, cold and flu but nothing too serious.

On the 21st of Dec, we had our cousin's wedding at night. My siblings and I were at the hotel getting ready after a whole afternoon of outing. My mother had gone off earlier with my aunt. Plan was for all of us including my father to meet her later at the hall. Around 6ish, I received a call from my cousin saying that my mother isn't feeling too good. She complained of a chest pain.

About 20mins or so later, he called again to inform us that my mother had passed out and ambulance was called. On the way to the hospital, the traffic was bad and it pissed the hell out of all of us. I called my father (he was at my grandmother's at the time of the incident) to let him know what had happened.

When we got to the hospital, my aunt (my late mother's youngest sister), her husband and my late mother's younger brother were there outside the emergency room. We could tell my aunt was in shock and the rest were worried. After going up a flight of stairs, my aunt told us that my late mother had complained of a headache and that she felt like fainting.

My aunt then took her to a 'surau' to rest. There, she asked for water and after taking a sip, my late mother passed out. It took the ambulance forever to get there so my cousin and his friends drove my late mother to the hospital. Thank God, the hospital was just around the corner of the building where my cousin's reception was being held.

El, Jules and myself waited for my father to arrive. Eddie and family were on their way too. My father got there first and then the doctor came out. He told us that at the time when my mother arrived at the hospital, she was lifeless. For a good 10 - 20 mins or so. Just when those words came out - I started bawling and so did El. The doctor managed to revive her back and my mother was put on a ventilator.

Okay... I will have to stop now cause I can't stop my tears.

What happened to ME......

Wow - What a crazy end to the year, but all-in-all a good end to it.....or what do you think my Love?? I think we got through it all really well, don't you think ? 'smile' THANK YOU for your love, support and for trying real hard to be patient, etc.....I know it wasn't always easy!!


Firstly, I have to apologise to my Babygirl for leaving her all alone on here for some time now - I know she understands why I have not been on here for the last few weeks, and I just wanted to say to you my love - YOU ARE REALLY AMAZING !!!

I miss you and have missed US the last few weeks - more and more than before ! Thank you for being there for me, almost 'all' the time...'smile' I love you for that.....xxx
If you knew how much I need to look in your eyes right this moment, to tell you how much I need you - and how much I love you Babygirl - If you had to really know, I am sure you would not be able to handle it....xx I know, cause I am struggling to control the feelings myself.....

I want you to enjoy your time with the family over these coming few day's and weeks......say hi to them all for me please? Ask them to please look after you for me, cause I don't think you can do it yourself all the time 'smile'

Baby......I LOVE YOU so much......and I miss the hell out of you right now.....I need to have you here with me soon...VERY soon !! xxx

Something to think about...

When they stay over night(staturday to sunday eve only) I get upset. Not because I don´t like them really, but I don´t really like anyone spending the weekend over in my place on the only couch I have(its mine), watching tv and making noise! My boyfriend consider my selfish and cold(somewhat I can understand him) it´s just I don´t feel like having to talk to anyone when I am not in the mood to! I usually go out with friend on their weekends and Sunday I like my peace to work and have few cups of coffee,etc. I don´t want him to leave his kids, nor to spend less time with them. I love the feedom I have, I just wanna be left alone when I have time to do so!is it a big deal really?

I read this on another blog and it really got me thinking. It got me thinking how selfish some people can be. Yes, I tend to be self-centred (can't help it sometimes) but this woman is just plain selfish.

I believe that when a person chooses to be with someone who was married and have kids, she should be prepared with the kids that come along with the man. On top of that, changes in her life will bound to happen and that should be thought of in the beginning.

It was rather appalling for me to read the part where she said "When they stay over night(staturday to sunday eve only) I get upset" - well, they are your BF's kids, for heaven's sake, aren't you suppose to love them half if not just as much as you love your man?? It's not like she didn't know he has kids in the first place before they got together!

It's a coincidence that I am in the same situation that my BF has kids but I would never get upset if I was in this woman's situation (the sleeping over etc) because no matter what, I know his kids are his first priority.

I guess I must be a nice person since his kids like me despite the way I am. I am not *not* nice to them

That's funny. Kids aren't exactly good barometers of what "nice" is so I wouldn't count on it. Parenthood isn't for everyone, I can understand that but if one claims someone as her BF - I think it's only natural for one to love his kids too. She's talking about someone she has spent 3 years of her life with! How can one not learn to love a SO's kids? Kids just don't disappear, you know!

I hate to think that there are people out there that think kids are a burden. It saddens me to no end! I love my nieces, they are my everything and they are not even my own!

New look

Not me - but the blog. Okay, not so much of a new look but I added some stuff over the weekend cause I was bored to death and wanted to take my mind off a few things.

I added the shoutbox which is for people to shout out whatever they want. Some people are too lazy to click on the 'comment' link so it's easier to just comment on the shoutbox. Other than that, there's the countdown to Year 2008.

And yes, I am addicted to coffee and so is my BF who is now wearing a sexy tight jeans. Thank you. I'm all the way over here!!! Gggrrr. I can't really say that I am addicted to coffee - I can go without coffee for a few days so no, I'm not a coffee addict but can I go on a day without my BF? Noooooo.. 'nuff said.

Also, yes... beware of the "AWESOMENESS" ahead. As Sandy has stated... my BF and I are too sexy to look or be sad. LMSAO. With that, we're an awesome bunch. Yes, I am full of myself... go ahead, shoot me!

Trying times

It has been just that for the past few weeks. He was going through some major things while I was going through some things not so major but trying and difficult nonetheless.

After not speaking to each other for a few days due to unforeseen circumstances (doesn't that sound oh-so-formal?!), it felt so good to hear his voice earlier! It sent shivers through my body, I kid you not!

I miss him so much and I can't say that enough. Not even a day out of the weeks that we had it bad that I love him less. It was very hard for me to go through the days without seeing or hearing from him but I managed to go through it all. Not easy seeing how spoiled I am. I may have thought of stupid silly random things but I don't think one can blame me for thinking or wondering especially with the situation that I am in. It has nothing to do with 'trust' - it's more about my insecurities which yes, I know, my love - I have to work on my own. It's just been so frustrating and weird for the past few weeks that I wish it will be over soon.

Now, we have to go through the holidays. Almost 2 and half weeks without seeing one another - oh shyte - how the hell are we going to go through that? Seeing that we got through the tough weeks, the holidays shouldn't be too bad, now huh?

He is not alone on the "I feel further away from you" feeling. That was exactly how I was feeling for the past few days and I guess that was what I was trying to tell him. I did feel like he was slipping away - and the thought of it was scary. It's one year now and we have gone through a lot together. There are many other obstacles for us to go through, that I know.

Freaking out.. Part 2

Yes, I am still freaking out over the lost cellphone! I tried calling the number and it went straight to VM. Not good. I know for sure Jace didn't take it with her - she would definitely tell me if she did.

I have looked everywhere in the office, got 3 staff to look for it and still, it's nowhere to be found! I have to send out smses to students by the end of the day and well, how the hell am I going to do that now?!

Hui Min is telling me about Crazy Frog - "do you realise he has no underwear on?!" - WTH woman?!? Do I need to know that at a time like this?!?!

So now, my lovely people are putting back CDs together - so nice of them. Me? I'm still wondering about the cellphone. I looked for it everywhere! Jimmy looked for it in the fridge. "It must be the freezer, hey?!".

Freaking out...

Yes I am. I am screwed.

I can't find the damn company's cellphone!!

I'm so screwed it's not funny!!

I can't find it anywhere - got my staff to look for it but to no avail.

I am freaking out.

Gee Jace - why must you be on your way to Scotland now?!

Did I tell you I'm screwed??

The Morning After

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, yet again! It's really bothering me right now as I can't even swallow solid food. So I guess I'll be losing weight. Again.

It has been a trying time for the past few weeks for my BF. It's frustrating that I can't be there for him physically as it would be easier if that was possible. Just to hold his hand and tell him everything will be alright.

With his siuation right now, I don't know when will it be the right time to text him as was the case last night when I didn't at all because I do not want another D-Day to happen. Not right now.

I know what you're thinking, maybe I don't but if you're thinking for one minute that I didn't care or think about you and angel #2 at all then you're very wrong because throughout the whole day, in fact - the whole week - that was all that was on my mind. Still is and always will.

Please don't think that I take this very lightly or it does not effect me badly...

Saturday morning...

For the past 3 mornings in a row - I got up with a sore throat! It will be sore for a few hours and then it's back to nothing. On top of that - I sneeze more than ever now. My mum said I should move to a cold country. Like it's not cold enough where I am right now. Not winter cold but cold nonetheless. It's been raining a lot more lately and I love it! I love the rain - I think it's romantic. It's wet but romantic! I'm such a doofus!

I have plans to take my cute niecey Wafi for a movie this evening after I am done at work. We're watching 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' with Sandy and G-Man. His name is actually Gobaind but I decided to call him G-Man. He's Sandy's BF - *smile*. Did I see that coming? Well - yes.. like a frisbee to my face. LMSAO. Actually, I think they make a cute couple - from what I saw last Sunday.

Wondering... waiting...

I was woken up by the sound of my sms alert on my cellphone. I picked it up and saw 2 new messages.

They were from my BF. The second sms that came through caught me off guard. I replied and started to worry.

That was 9 hours ago and now I'm still worrying about the outcome. Not so much worrying but restless. I hope everything goes well.

The most hardest thing for me to deal is the waiting. Be it for short or long term - I hate waiting. It panics me. Actually, not knowing is what gets to me the most!! I retract the part about waiting - waiting is something I can still deal with but not knowing --- hell no!!

I am praying hard that the little angel will be fine. I sure hope he will be.

My love, hang in there... I know you're strong and we'll go through this together. I'm sending positive vibes and prayers to you and family.

xxx

- Babylove

Through the rain..

It's been raining a lot lately. It's good cause I love the weather. It's wet and cold. The downside of that weather is I can't go anywhere without getting wet... I hate carrying umbrellas... don't care whatever size an umbrella comes in. I don't care if it's foldable or not. I just hate carrying one in my bag - reason : my bag may be big (depends on my mood of that day) but it doesn't mean that I like a lot of things in it!

It has been an unpleasant week or so to speak for the past few days.. weeks even. Loss of an unborn family member - which effected me badly. Then a little angel that to go through an operation which went well, btw and thank God it did. Didn't do well at all for a couple of papers so will have to start all over again. Is that awesome or what?!

Everything just doesn't seem to be going the way it is suppose to - not that I know which 'way' it is suppose to be going. Just don't like the way I am feeling right now.

Friday blues

Yeah I thought I was awesome until I flunked my papers. I think. Not sure but I bet I won't be getting my usual 3.5 above! I totally screwed it.. big time! It didn't help that I totally forgot all about it! I lost track of date.. not to mention time! Been having sleepless night in KL too many nights. Family issues... relationship issues and of course, work issues as well. How can one not have that on top of family and relationship!

One year

21st November 2006 was the day we got to know each other and it has been a year now. So much has been said. I have gone through some rough times with him and so far, we have both pulled through. So far.

I can't believe a year has gone by. I read back some of the emails -- okay, all the emails he has sent me over the year -- and I realised that we both still say the same things up to this very minute. It's not tiring at all. I mean the way we talk to each other, the things we say -- it hasn't changed and I feel it's a good thing.

It has been a wonderful one year -- a lot of bumps which I believe only made us stronger together, for me anyhow.

Another year -- I will still love you... xxxx

- Babylove

Missing you... more

I'll Be Your Love - Nicole Scherzinger

I'll be your love
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow

There's a time
You feel like you're lost
Feel the night will never end
Through the daybreak
It's hard to hold on
But there is tomorrow
Brings you to your senses
As the sun will make it's way

You'll make it there
To the place where reality and dreams
And love will be together
I'll keep the light from fading
If the clouds blind your way
And the wind sways your faith

I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow
Let me see you smile

Don't you cry
Over the past
Some days might be gray

And dreary
Not easy to leave
To leave it behind
'Til the rain stops in silence
I'll be there to hold your heart

I'll be with you
'Til you find the reason for love
We take it for granted
We'll keep the time from fading
''cause the world is here to stay
Your hope is deeper than pain

I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow

If you would believe
Believe in the world
A vision of love
And the strength inside your heart
You'll find a way

I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone
If yesterday blindfolds your eyes
I'll bring you tomorrow
I'll be your love, I'll be your light
I'll never make you feel, feel alone


I'm listening to this song right now and it's making me miss my sexylove very much!!

It's a typical Sunday for me and a very boring day at work. Been playing word games and counting down the hours till I can go home and take a nap! It's been a long day (yes, doing nothing productive for the whole day makes it a lllooonnng day for me!)

At least YOU had a wedding to attend.. a family gathering to keep YOU busy. *smile*. I'm all here... alone... missing YOU.

xxxx

- Babylove

A pleasant surprise!

My sexy BF gave me a wake up cum birthday call this morning at 07:00!!! I loved it! I just love hearing his voice - any time of the day. I wish he was here.. not necessarily on my birthday but every day of my life!!!

Thank you, my love for the call. I really appreciate it and it was a very pleasant surprise! Didn't expect it at all.

Thank you for your entry. I do know that you love me and I believe you... but I guess you can't blame me for having those fears? It's quite hard for me sometimes... but it doesn't mean that I don't believe you when you tell me how you feel about me. You do know that lately, it has been hard for us both with what went on...

Please bear in mind that I love you deeply.... I wouldn't want it any other way, my love!

xxxx

- Babylove

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so I don't wanna start a new entry, instead I just continue from this recent entry.

It's 20:56PM. J is busy looking through Friendster and I don't have much to do at work today. Did all the phone calls (aarrgghh - I hate making phone calls) and now, almost done with the paperwork. What next? No bloody idea.

I can't wait to go home. I have been on a long holiday and coming back to work today has been a drag!!

Dad just called and said my second brother is back from Sarawak. I don't understand that brother of mine. On the first day of Raya, heck during the entire week of Raya (usually the first day is THE day for you to ask for forgiveness) he didn't call nor text my parents to wish them. He didn't call on my father's birthday, not on mummy's birthday yesterday and certainly no calls for me either today. I really don't care about him not wishing me, really, I have given up on that but he could have called up my parents. Not on birthdays, fine but no wishes on Eid Mubarak? That is way too much. I'm the one that has to see them all sad and disappointed. He doesn't see how hurt my parents are but I do. There is so much one can take, you know.

Recently, my second brother mentioned something about furnitures to my parents. Stating that he bought them some fine furnitures - yeah okay, fine but don't think that by buying material things all are forgotten. It doesn't work that way, not in my book and most certainly not in my parents' books. It does not make things better. They'd rather have you around than those things. I would know. He hasn't seen his grand-daughter for almost 5 and half years now, meeting HER would BE THE gift! Put aside your differences for the sake of your child and her grandfather! This really pisses me off! I go home all the time and lately, this is all I hear about. I'm not angry at my parents for talking to me about this, I'm angry at my brother and wife for being such an arse about this whole issue. It's too friggin' long already - GET OVER IT!!!!!!

Seriously...

I feel like screaming right now. Or punching someone in the face!!!

I know I won't be able to sleep because I am missing him so much.

I feel so stupid right now. I don't even know why I feel stupid.

I need to vent. I really do.

Why of all the nights, the stupid colleague decided to stay late? Really... WHY?

What does the world has against me????? WHAT????

- Frustrated birthday girl

Happy Birthday to me - yeay

No words can describe how frustrated I am right now. I was so looking forward to seeing you tonight. You're right, it's not okay. I don't feel okay at all. I feel so f*cking pissed off right now. Not at you but at everything else that is against us.

I can't even type right now. I've never been this frustrated. It's my birthday and I'm frustrated. Stupid tears won't fucking stop!!!!!

Overcoming your fears !!

My babygirl - I do LOVE you.....I do care for you very much!! But to be honest....I do not think that you really believe that I do. You do not really believe me when I say these words...?
I realise what your deepest fears are my love.....I know why and I understand where they come from !! I also know that there's probably not that much I can say to take these fears away.....You, my babygirl, you alone can overcome your fears....But I want you to know that I am there for you & I am trying real hard to be there for you as much as possible!

Things might seem impossible at times, but every day, all around us, that which seemed impossible in the past, becomes a possibility! Remember this - believe in it and before we know it, our wishes for each other could come true xxx

Love u always.....Love u with all my heart xxx

Mummy's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my mummy!!

I haven't bought her prezzie yet. Will do so later when I go out for early dinner with my eldest brother and wife. Plan is for both her sons & wives to come over for dinner but El & Jules can only make it after 20:00pm. Eddie and I will be having sushi which my parents are not fans of so they won't be coming along. I guess it will only be candle lit dinner for both my parents *wink*.

I miss my baby so much! Last night was hard for me to cope. I ended up crying myself to sleep. Having my monthly sickness does not help. Emotions running wild. I don't remember being effected by it as much before this.

I don't know how to deal with missing someone this much because I haven't been in this position before. This is something new and no matter how much I try not to think about missing him or get myself busy with whatever that needs to be done at home - that all didn't work. It's him that I think about - day & night. Every second of the day, I am missing him more and more. Don't get me started on how much in love I am with him every day of the week!! If someone tells me that I dreaming all this, I'd shoot that someone. Really.

Gggrrr.... missing him sooo much and not being able to chat with him sure does not help!!!

- Babylove

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

I hope it's not too late to wish my Muslim brothers and sisters Happy Eid Mubarak!

It's almost a week now since we celebrated it and I still have the first day of Syawal fresh in my mind! The one thing that I look forward to during Syawal especially on the first day is asking for forgiveness from the elders. It will always be an emotional event for my family. Especially mummy's side!! It was rather sad for my parents and I as it is the 4th (or is it 5th??) year we celebrate Aidilfitri without my brothers and wives. Me being the single one in the family, obviously I go back to my mum's hometown with them! Not complaining - I always have a great time with my relatives.

Despite all the good times I had, I was missing him terribly. Lately, it has been crazy. Not crazy good but crazy bad! I know in any type of relationship, there will always be the up side of it and the down side. The good and the bad.. but I can't help thinking that sometimes we can avoid the down side of it. Then again, who are we kidding? I tend to piss people off when it wasn't my main intention. I think this is my PMS talking. I've just been so bloody emotional it's not even funny or cute!

I just want things to get back to normal... whatever 'normal' is!

- Babylove

A quickie

Am having a bad day.

Missing my sexylove oh soo much!

Wish I could talk to you.

I know if I did, I would feel so much better.

Thinking of you constantly...

xxx

- Babylove

High

When you're close to tears remember
Some day it'll all be over
One day 'we're gonna get so high
And though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You'll always keep me flying high in the sky of love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
'Cause even the impossible is easy
When we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

This songs suits us. I seem to think so anyway. *smile*

Loving you more every second!! xxx

- Babylove

Sexylove!!

Just when I thought I would never find my true love, you came along. My soul has been searching for you since I came into this world. All my life I have had this emptiness inside, like a part of me was missing and I was complete... and now, I can't imagine my life without you in it...

"Tu sei una stella... la mia stella" - You are a star, my star!

Love you unconditionally... xxx

- Babylove

Waiting to Exhale..........

As I sit here, waiting for you to come back to me, I cannot stop thinking about how much you mean to me babylove......YES - I do know you love me endlessly and like I told you before.....You wouldn't want anybody else - you wouldn't want to throw what we have, away - cause WE belong together & this was meant to be xxx - Waiting to Exhale.....

Where the hell did you go buy food 'smile' - Come back to me ! I miss you so much - I need you so badly - I love you unconditionally.....I belong to you my love !
Waiting to Exhale.......

My day's are standing still without you ........Why can't we be together now.....now and forever - Please look after yourself.....look after yourself for me - for us ? I cannot see my life without you in it......
Waiting to Exhale.......

This love....

I have for you is from the bottom of my heart. Even from beneath that, if that was possible. I have never loved anyone this much and it surprises me how much my love for you grows every day still. I have so much love for you and I want you to experience it all and I want to experience the love you have for me.

The things you have shared with me will forever be with me and I shall remember every word of it. You have made me believe in love again when I thought I would never find anyone to love me for who I am. I truly love you endlessly. There is so much that I have learned from you and I know there is more I can learn from you. You're so much more than just a BF to me. You're everything.

I don't know what I have done to deserve you but if I did something, I must have done it right. As I have told you a few times, I cannot go a day without you. I can't be without you.

I can tell you this right now, my love, that I will take care of your heart as it is my own. All I ask from is for you take good care of it because I don't think my heart can take anymore heart breaks.

There is no one else I would want to share this love with, just you and only you. There is no one else out there that I want to be with but you. I can't be without you... and I know you know that.

You're mine and I am yours... xxx

- Babylove

Daddy's birthday

Yesterday was daddy's birthday. We had a get together the night before. Everyone came except Ezy and family, of course.

Food were delicious! Mummy went crazy and cooked everyone's favourite dishes. I bought some Malay 'kuih' - turned out I bought too much and added to that, El & Jules bought as well, pretty much the same stuff too! So we had a lot to eat but by the time solat Isyak came, everyone was so full to even get up!

So that was on the 22nd Sept. On dad's birthday itself - 23rd Sept. everyone came over again. This time Mas was not around as she has flew off to LA. So there were El & Jules, Ed & kids, me, my parents and Dila. I got home a little after 21:00pm and told Ed to take me to Secret Recipe to get dad a cake since everyone was around.

On the way to Secret Recipe, I was looking at the houses and I saw a naked woman walking around for that split second we passed. I blurted it out and Ed hit the brakes! Gee whizz... now I know how to get my brother's attention. All I have to do is mention I saw a naked woman! I am very sure it works with other men too. *smile*
Bro, if you're reading this - you know I was just kidding. Well, maybe not!

We got home 15 mins later. Dad was still at the mosque so we chit-chatted. Dila has grown so much! She's sooo pretty now and has a body to boot! She used to be this lanky girl and it was good to see her looking healthy and pretty. Dila has also been promoted to 'team leader' in Celebrity Fitness - good news! Apart from that, she is continuing her studies in Montessori - which is good because I wouldn't want her to work with CF for the rest of her life. She has so much more to offer and she deserves so much more. CF pays well but it's just something I don't see anyone working there long term. I worked there before and management kinda sucks. Except Mike and Duke, esp Duke since he was always watching my back (no, not my ass).

When I first saw you

When I First Saw You Lyrics

I watched 'Dreamgirls' a few months back and enjoyed the movie very much. It's the typical Hollywood feel-good movie. Very predictable as always but the singing and acting were good. Not to mention the costumes. Oh and shoes!

I particularly like the song above. When I first heard it in the movie, images of my sexy BF came to mind.

He is my dream... A dream come true that I am so blessed with!

Reading his blog below really made my day yesterday and after reading it again today, it still does the same thing to me.

I truly feel like the happiest woman on earth right now.. I tell you, I can't get rid of this smile on my face!!

You're THE one and I hope you'll always remember that! xxx

P/S: You know who 'snugglebums' is... xxxx

Opposites Attract ? or NOT ?

A few simple examples of opposites:
Tall - Short ; White - Black ; Hot - Cold ; Muslim - Christian & maybe one of the biggest opposites - MAN & WOMEN !
Yes....There is a saying that OPPOSITES ATTRACT, but honestly - do they ? I have always given this one a great deal of thought & I am not at all convinced that this is the situation in relationships especially ? I do agree that opposites will be attracted to one another for short, intense & often very physicly charged moments - maybe because of the excitement these relationships bring into our lives!

BUT......my biggest question about these opposite attractions is - Can opposites live together, be married, raise children together, etc., for the rest of their lives ? Don't we need someone - a soulmate, who is very much like us in many way's, who share the same interest's, loves the same things in general.....don't we need someone like this to be with us in a relationship or marriage ?

I honestly think this is what everybody needs.....It is surely what I need, because I can only see myself living, loving & caring for someone who is in a lot of way's like I am..'smile' And just to make this clear for everybody out there - Opposites like a guy & girl's length, their country of origin(language included), their religion's, their families, etc, etc.....these opposites makes almost no difference to anything in a relationship, except if you allow them to !!!
It's the opposites in our hearts.....the opposites in our thoughts & minds......& the huge differences we find in our souls.!!! THESE opposites make or break most relationship's....


To THE ONE that I love.......To THE ONE I feel the closest to ......To THE ONE I share one mind....one heart.....& ONE SOUL with - I LOVE U xxxxx

What a LOOOONG week-end !!!

I got to the office about 45 mins ago, after a very loooong week-end.....And it wasn't a long week-end because of a public holiday in there somewhere, but because I missed my Istella like NEVER before & I just wanted to be with her - talk to her - see her - smell her & look in her eyes to see how much she loves me!!
All of the above made this past week-end feel like an eternity !

What helped though, was to hear her voice and read all her sexy sms'e on Saturday & Sunday.....Thank you very much babes !
I spent the first 30 mins of my Monday morning reading her blog entries....her e-mails she sent me, and I loved them all - Love you Istella & I am soooo looking forward to seeing you and chatting to you later tonight! We have so much to talk about.....so, so much....xxx

Oh yes - and who's 'snugglebums' ?? mmmmmmm - are you holding out on me my love?? 'smile'

Missing you...

It's almost 02:00 and I still wide awake.

Late afternoon, I spoke to my sexy BF. As always, I enjoyed our conversation.

I read through some of our chats for the past 3 days - especially the one where he asked about the ring.

I can't believe how excited I still am.

When I read the whole part - over 4 times too - it actually made my heart beat faster... all 4 times!!

Amazing!

I am missing him so very much right now. I wish I could hit my speed dial and talk to him...

Hope he's missing me just as much...

It's a boring Sunday

I wish I could have just gone to sleep and not wake up to go to work!

I slept pretty good last night but after 'sahur', I couldn't really sleep and when my alarm went off, I didn't want to wake up!! I think I have blogged about sleeping more than actually waking up. I haven't been sleeping very well lately so don't blame me for wanting to sleep more!!

Work has been hectic of late due to PMR and SPM exams coming up. We're preparing for their seminars, PMR - coming weekend and SPM seminar on the 6th of October. I don't think things will slow down anytime soon. I can't wait for Eid Fitri as that would be the only break we have for this 2 months! Yeah, we can't take any leave for the month of September and October.

Come October would be my one year anniversary with my company as a full time staff. Come October 19th, I'll be 27! This year, my birthday falls on the 7th day of Syawal. For the past few years, it fell during Ramadhan. It's a good thing but some of my friends complaint that they won't be able to 'party' due to Ramadhan. Funny thing is that, it's my birthday and they are the ones that complain. I'm pretty much content with just spending it with my family. Of course I would love to spend it with my amazing BF as well but he lives thousands of miles away so spending it with him would be impossible. *smile*

I have about another 4 and half hours to go before I could go 'break' fast with Iza. We won't be able to 'break' fast with our families because by the time we finish work, it would have passed 'breaking' fast time. So today, we both decided to have either Kenny Rogers or Thai Express - I love this Thai restaurant. It serves the best 'Pad Thai'! Very spicy and the taste is just perfect! Okay, I'm definitely going to stop talking about food now!!

My sexy BF just texted me! Hopefully, we will be able to talk soon! Missing him like crazy!!

Lord (Lady, in my case?) of the Ring!

Today would be the third day I'm wearing this ring on my 'ring' finger.

The ring symbolizes the love that we share together, how we feel about one another and it also shows that I am willing to share my feelings for him with everyone around me. I would so very much want everyone to know that I am with someone so amazing. Someone that makes me happy more than ever before!

The ring is platinum with a stone in between two bands. It looks as if two hands holding a stone - my interpretation (as I told my sexy man and others) is two people (obviously me and my BF) holding a heart they share together. Corny, I know but so what? It's my ring!!!! It's simple, really but I love it. It's beautiful to me and what it means that matters the most to me.

I cannot help staring at it from time to time. I love it how my friends notice it on my finger. *smile*. It really is perfect. I love my BF for all of this and so much more.

During one of our conversations, he said I should probably wear one ring on each finger so that people would stay away (something along those lines)... lol - so yeah, that would make me the Lord of the Rings, now wouldn't it??

Right now, he's busy playing golf and I am missing him so much! I hope he'd hurry up and finish the game so we could talk!

*looking at the ring....* Love it, love it, love it!!!!

Hooked on you, snugglebums *smile*

There's No One but YOU, sexy BF!

- Alicia Keys Lyrics

Yes you are! And you're everything... yes, a HUGE responsibility!!

Everything Lyrics

Well, my dear sexy BF... Thought I'd surprise you with this. I hope you like it? Thank you again for taking my headache away *smile*. Thank you for everything... every single thing. Thank you for making me the happiest woman in Malaysia, if not on earth!!! *smile*.

Crazy about you..!!

I am her BF - I am her BF......Sorry, it just sounds so GOOD !!

Firstly, thank you to my lovely GF for letting me use her blog to write a few of my own thoughts in here, and trusting me too (u taking a huge chance I must add!), with opening up your private space to me - THANK YOU & I LOVE U!!

I think the launch of our song(s) went well....just the start to so many new adventures together, I hope.....No, I know it is! Loved her choices....love the lyrics of both & what she's telling me through both the songs.

I really love reading her thoughts on here - have been doing it for some time now, while she was thinking I'm not interested in them at all. 'smile' I've read them all, or at least the last year's entries.....Yes, that's how long we know each other already! Amazing isn't it...not? Oh, but I think it is.....we've been through so much in this time, that flew past so quickly.....Thank you for every second I could spend with you my love !! Good and bad ( & we only had one or two bad moments!) , has been unforgettable SO FAR - looking forward to our future moments together - I have a feeling we ain't seen nothing yet...'smile'

Oh yes....she wrote the entry just before mine, but seem to have left out the part where she's become her own 'Lord of the Ring'....I wonder why?

You drive me insane....xxx

The Launching of 'Our Songs'

My sexy BF came up with the idea of having a song for 'us'. So he came up with the brilliant idea for each of us to choose one song each. Anyhow, we ended up choosing two songs each - we want to be different so we chose that. Why limit to one, right? *smile*.

I told sexy BF we should launch it on Friday. Well, when two over-excited people get together, you will know that Friday feels like light years away! At least for me, it feels like that. So instead of Friday, we launched it just few minutes earlier. I chose 2 songs which are - 'Lost In Space' by Lighthouse Family and 'Love Song' by 311. I first heard of 'Lost In Space' a few years back on my brother's CD. Fell in love with that song and I knew one day, I would feel just the exact way for someone. I would be lost if he ever got lost *lol*... seriously, if ever he isn't around, I would be lost. 'Love Song' was first heard when I watched '50 First Dates' - I love that song!! It really went well with the movie. I always felt that a song is not just about the tune, it has to have the right lyrics to it and it will make a great song. A great composition. I have a lot more songs in mind that I feel would be perfect for us both but my sexy BF said "JUST ONE" then changed to "JUST TWO"... yeah so I had to live with two. *smile*.

I have been very excited for the past few days. Even more excited yesterday and it still hasn't worn off and I honestly feel the excitement never will die because we both have so much more to give and always coming up with new ideas, don't we, sexy BF? *smile*

Love Song

Love song Lyrics

You make it feel like it's the First Time Ever !!

Lyrics to My 1st choice song – which is important!!

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scars under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
[First Time lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scars under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scars that's under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

Like being in love she said for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

Bad morning

I just had the worst morning ever this week! I think the worst morning ever for months! I didn't sleep well - in fact, no sleep at all - when I finally dozed off, the alarm went off. I wanted to come in late to work today but with the guests visiting, that would be impossible. Well, possible if my partner in crime was not on medical leave. So I had to be at work by 11:30am as the guests are coming at 12:00pm.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked horrible! Eye-bags and my eyes were puffy. What a sight! Took a shower, got myself ready and went downstairs. Greeted my parents and in return, I was greeted by QN with a big sloppy kiss! Aaahhh.. what a way to start my morning - and I do mean it in a good way! I thought to myself - okay, this is going to be a good morning for me! Yippee! So had coffee and mummy was hovering over me to eat my breakfast but really, I wasn't in the mood for anything except coffee.

As I was putting my things together, I realised that my office keys are not with me. I must have left it in the office. I was right. So with MPIC on medical leave, I was the only one available to open for the day. Huh... how the hell am I gonna get my keys when it's INSIDE the office?? I didn't panic - I rarely panic - so what I did was, I called AGM and arranged to meet him at the HQ to get his spare keys. That was settled. So daddy drove me to the airport, I mean to the HQ (where did the airport come from??) and I got there by 11:30am. From my house to the HQ is 10mins and from the HQ to my academy - 15mins. So I had time. Time was on my side, baby!! Oh yeah!!! So AGM and I exchanged some funnies and left for the academy. I'll get there on time. I just know I will get there in time.

Not!! It is so typical that at the time I am rushing, there was a massive traffic ahead. So to avoid getting into it, daddy decided to take another turn which turned out to be the wrong way. *smile*. I couldn't say anything because daddy is always right - no matter what! So I just sat in the quietly fuming. I can't say enough how pissed off I was. Not at daddy but at myself for not speaking up and told him that he got it the wrong way. Why didn't I? Well, I didn't want to make things worse by arguing with him and I really wasn't in the mood for another misunderstanding or whatever you call it.

We finally reached the academy at 12:10pm. I got out the car and daddy said "I'm sorry I made you late for work" and I know he meant it. So I got in, gave him a hug and told him, I'll be fine.

That would be the end of my horrible start of the day, right? No way. I unlocked the academy, got everything together and who came barging in? My big boss. He just had to tell me how the guests are already here earlier and went home because they waited too long. 10mins is a long wait but come on, it wasn't like I did for fun of being late. It's not something I decide as I wake up in the morning and think - "hey, let's be late today and just screw up the guests. Oooh.. that's a load of fun!!". Fine, I apologised - again after texting him earlier about being slightly late.

Then after the guests left (apparently, they didn't leave - they just went to have lunch at a nearby restaurant), he had asked me to do a notice which I had made a note about it. With all the other things happening and short of staff at that time, I was doing 3 things at once. When he asked for the notice - I was about to do it so I wasn't surprised when I was lectured about not doing things on time. I had lost my patience so I snapped at him. I can't be doing EVERYTHING at one time, you know. I'm so tired, upset, sleepy... I was overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions. He didn't have to add on to my feeling bad enough about being late.

I really hope my evening will turn out for the better. I really can't take it anymore. I'm almost on the verge of breaking down...

My thoughts

Times sure have changed. Where commitment and values have evolved as limited priorities. Once upon a time, people really enjoyed each other. It was the simple pleasures that made commitment and value the highest of priorities. Spouses seemed to value each other and respect each other more in yesterday’s society than today.

Today’s world has become so materialistic that it seems that spouses in marriage have now become the object and are treated as such. Focus on growing together seems forgotten. Fast pace and changes in the world have no doubt created a hell of a lot more stress and striving to keep up with it all, thus everyone’s energy is pulled in all directions and becomes lost where it truly matters, in the family.

Sure! I do believe there are marriages that will survive and do make it to “death do us part” and are truly happy. I don’t feel in today’s world there are many. Not from all these posts I have read on a forum I frequent recently. It is very sad to read what these women and even some men are going through in their marriages.

Of all the couples I know, and there are many, it is very disheartening to hear their stories. Some that I know have been together for 25 –30 years and have openly said “it’s been a struggle” and we are not happy and have not been for years. Some have even said “I should have left a long time ago” and many have stated I stayed for the kids or financial reasons. Most have had affairs and some have not! Now they look back and view their life with their spouse as hauntingly frightening as retirement years approach. They dread the days to come of having their spouse as what they referred to as “a piece of the furniture” because they said their feelings have died and cannot be recovered.

No wonder some of my friends, even myself at one point dread the idea of getting married. Even my third brother hated the idea but hey, when he met his wife - he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and I can really see that happening between the two of them. It saddens me that those people I know who are going through a rough time in their marriages don't have what my brothers and some of my relatives have. My ex's parents' marriage was arranged by their families and it turned out well. They are still together after 30 years. My parents married each other for almost 40 years now and they have gone through a lot. They worked through their rough times and that is what I want in my marriage.

I was told that feelings change and so do people. I get that. I really do but there is also people who do not change and that includes their feelings. I don't change easily. My feelings usually stay the same. Only if my man hurt me in ways that I cannot forgive that my feelings for him will change then and even that, it will take almost forever!

I read a lot today on relationships/marriages and such. Now, I have never been the one to talk or discuss certain issues because I dislike it. For me, every time a certain issue is being discussed, it will end up in a big argument or it will lead to a misunderstanding. That is where I am wrong. With discussing matters with your loved one, you make your relationship with your partner a better one. Okay so I didn't exactly learned THAT part today, I actually learned it in Cape Town. *smile*. It's just that, after my trip to CT - I realised (today, in fact) that I have somewhat changed my perceptions on a lot of things. Like I said, I am never the one to discuss but I feel it's important now to let out your feelings or dissatisfatcion on things. I have become more alive now that I have it out in the open. I am more comfortable now talking to my mother after my trip. She's more understanding of the situation and is supportive of me.

I left my heart in Cape Town

It was a lovely morning when I arrived in Cape Town. Flight was early so instead of arriving at 07:35, I arrived 35mins earlier. I guess I wasn't the only one that was excited about visiting Cape Town!

Mr. Brahm picked me up around 07:40, if I was not mistaken. Went straight to Jabulani Guest House and on my way over, MSHM called. Told me he'd meet me at Jabulani and I was ecstatic! Seriously, I had a big smile on my face. I thought to myself on the way over that I'd greet him with a hug... yeah - good idea...

So when I got to the guest house, got out of the car - I was talking to Mr. Brahm then I heard a familiar deep sexy voice. I froze. Turned around and saw this really gorgeous man standing behind me. Yup - MSHM! Out of reflex, what I did was shook his hand. Oh yeah, you read it right. I bloody shook his hand!!! OMG! I so wanted to die. LOL. Aahh.. what a moment. It's something Amanda Peet would do to Ashton Kutcher kinda movie, you know. But noooo... it happened to me. Geez... way to go, blondie! I told my mother, SILs and Amir that part and they all said "awww... that is sooo 'comel'!!" - yeah yeah... 'comel' when it happens to someone else!

Anyway, what happened after that left me with warm fuzzy feeling. *smile*. Oh yeah, the guest house is lovely! Very homely and comfy. It reminded me of a house we used to live in. It was in Kelana Jaya and the compound was huge with lots of plants, flowers, trees around the block.. the garden was my mother's favourite evening hang out. And morning too. She just loves plants and flowers. Obsessed with them! My father was influenced as well and every evening, when I come out of my room - the first place I look for for them was out at the garden. So in a way, I missed that home. In fact, I missed the whole neighbourhood although people are pretty snobbish (yeah me too - lol) over on that side of my home. Back to the guest house, the owner has a dog. Freaking huge dog. I have seen a huger dog but not up close and personal like Lady. She's huge. And loud. What more could I say about Lady?

The guest house is situated in Durbanville. It's like Bangsar. Only Bangsar has huge shopping malls. Bangsar is actually bigger than Durbanville and way too many snobs around - *smile*. What's in common between those two is the greenery around the town. So full of trees. Durbanville is filled with good looking people. Be it young, old, single, married.. you name it. Every corner, there's a good looking girl or guy. I appreciate all the beauty in life has to offer because I am a typical Libra. I only like the finest things in life. With that said, I guess I like where I was because it is a beautiful place. It's simple but there's just something about that town and I can't quite put a finger to it. Of course the fact that MSHM was nearby helped. *big smile*. The buildings around the area is superb. Old fashioned type of houses and buildings. Classic. That's one of the reasons why I liked that place a lot. I love modern architecture but old classic ones are just so beautiful. So full of life and with them being old, a lot of stories behind it all. That is why I love history (although I failed most of the time - *smile*).

I have a lot more to write but at the moment, it's all private thoughts of mine. I'm dying to put it out here. Sometimes, when you have something in your mind and you write it down, it becomes clearer or more real to you. But then again, this blog is being read by people who know me personally and I really don't care what these people think but some of these people I know, tend to use what I have written in the past against me. In a way, I'm afraid that they might come out and hurt those I really care about. That is why I do not use real names for these people I have written about but with some of my so-called crazy friends I know, they will find a way to get back to me through my loved ones and have this ability to dig up on everything. The last thing I want is to hurt my loved ones.

So I might just edit a few things around here before I write down what I have in mind. Maybe I will just write it down in my personal diary but oh geez.. I just hate writing right now. It's painful. I have not written in a long time and gosh, my handwriting sucks! Okay now I am rambling so I better stop now before I start rambling nonsense!

Songs that represent certain situation

"In this crazy life.. through this crazy times, it's you.. it's you.. you make me sing, you're every line, you're every word.. you're everything!"

I love that song! Every morning I wake up to that song. Actually, as soon as I open my eyes - I'd get my cell and put the song on. It just brightens my morning even more. It's a song that makes you smile and have a good feeling early in the morning and really, I do have good days when I listen to that song first thing in the morning. It is also because that song just spells out MSHM.

Another song that I can relate to - not so much right now - is 'Pieces Don't Fit Anymore' (it should've come out years ago!) which is also Wafi's favourite song. It's a song about how one feels about a r/ship that is not working out anymore and whatever you do, no matter how hard you try to make things better - it just doesn't or can't get better because the pieces just don't fit anymore.

Oh and another one by James Morrison - 'You Give Me Something' - wow! That song says it all! Wait... that song would be number two, number one would be 'Lost Without You' by Robin Thicke which is pretty old song to me since it came out last year but only showing on TV here recently. That song - it's so good! It makes you want to have a good time with your SO. *wink*

Okay so it's about 20:34 here now and I am counting the seconds till I get my arse off this chair and head home! I'm so sleepy - couldn't sleep well last night due to my 1+ year old niece who kept crying every now and then!

I'll be off from work tomorrow. That is good because I need to get my passport done. I'm getting pretty excited but trying very hard to refrain myself from feeling TOO excited because every time I get too excited about something - it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to! Typical!

Resistance

Something I am not good at! Lol. If I tried hard enough, I know I could resist a lot of things. Heck - let me rephrase that! I CAN resist a lot of things/men/women but not when it comes to MSHM, chocolates (depends on the time of the month), cats!!! Oh boy!! Cats - I'd choose cats over chocolates! No, I don't eat cats, I love playing with them. I know MSHM likes to play with this one particular kitty. LOL.

Enough about that. I called Ezy this afternoon to inform him of my trip to CT. He was very surprised (told him months ago about my plan!) and asked lots of questions (typical). That wasn't the issue during the phone conversation. It was more about what he said about dad. I mean - seriously, let go already! It just upsets me that he or sometimes, Eddie and El just can't see dad the way I see him. I think it's because I am always with him and mum. I know they get him, they KNOW him but really, if you really KNOW someone, you'd be able to read them already and LET IT GO. Especially parents. That's just them. They are old. They are suppose to act certain ways when they get older. Geez.. you're all gonna get there pretty soon! Not so soon but you will get there... I know it will crush my dad if I told him what Ezy said but I'm not even gonna mention anything because I have had enough of this family drama. Seriously, if you really want to fix things with dad, fix your wife first. Her attitude especially. Freaking pisses me off!!

Time

It has been bugging me. This bug. More like issue. I don't have a lot of friends to talk to about this. I feel strongly for MSHM. I know he feels the same way. Not sure as strongly but I know he does.

Lately, I have been thinking more and more about marriage and having kids. I have never wanted kids. I know, I know - never say never. See what I want now?? The thing is, I do not want kids before this is because I have this issue where I think I will not make a good mother. But how does one know that, right? Sometimes it is just your gut feeling. I have babysat before and I like it. Although they're my nieces so that does not really count but hey, to me it does. I still had to feed them, put them to sleep... only the part where their diapers need to be changed, I hand them over to my mother. Oh and also when they start bawling. See - I wouldn't make a good mother!!! Then why do I want kids?

I think it has something to do with the fact that I am so in love with MSHM. It's crazy. Our r/ship is complicated and heaven knows how it will turn out but for now, all I want is to make it work. I think being with him made me want to have kids. Don't get me wrong, my ex was (is) a great guy and we talked about having kids before but of course, he's my ex now so that didn't work out. We planned to get married but hey, his mother changed her perception of me, thanks to that third person!!

I am so happy with MSHM. He's amazing. He makes me laugh. The oldest I have gotten involved with and it's great that even with his age, he is silly. Gosh, I haven't felt this way for a very long time and it makes me feel oh-so-great and I do not want this feeling to go away but rationally, it will. Why? Because of the situation we're in...

Swinging moods

Today I feel so lethargic. My body feels heavy. All I wanna do is to stay in bed. No work. No outing. No phone calls. No TV. Nothing. Zilch!

But of course, I am at work now. Not in bed. I wish I was. I should have just stayed in bed! Why did I even got up and went through my daily morning routine and came to work??

Because I am me. The responsible person that I am. Always thinking about other people. It's not fair of me to let my colleague do half of my part and more.

I wish I was a little irresponsible.

No, not really. I don't think I would like being irresponsible. I do wonder sometimes, how some people can be so irresponsible. How do they live with themselves that way? It's utterly mind-boggling!

Oh well, this is just another day for me. A new week. Hopefully it will be a good one!

Cheers!

My Seduction Style

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object

The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get. You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them. The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase. You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away. You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance. Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't! You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors. Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor. You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Keys To My Heart

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

A year older or wiser?

In less than 5 months I will turn 27. It has been 10 years since the last time I was in school. 10 years. Wow. 20 years ago, I was seven. First year in primary school. I remember my first brother, Eddie sent me to school every day. He would wait for me outside my class. Every day. Don’t remember for how long he did that. He’d wait for me for lunch break, make friends with my classmates – for me, of course! – then when lunch break is over, he would walk me to class and wait outside till my day is over. Yup, he did that for me, every day. I don’t think he did that for months, maybe only for the first 2 weeks of Primary One.

Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.

Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean that romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.

But that changed as well when I started seeing Amir in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. Amir is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends. I should find him a hot girl. A really nice and hot girl because a man like him, deserves that. Hate to see a great guy like that single and not having anyone to love or be loved.

Blah

It has been a stressful week for me. Work is good but lately, the big boss has been finding faults with us. Everything is not in order or not up to par. Not up to expectation – his, of course. The smallest mistake was turned into a big one. Complaining about it over and over again. At times I feel like giving up. I feel like leaving but I have to think about Jace. Not just Jace, but it’s hard for me to leave, actually. We work so hard to get the amount of students we have now and it’s really not easy considering that we have only been operating for almost 5 months now. Come June, it will be my one year anniversary with my company. What have I learnt for the past 11 months? A lot. I have learnt from the simplest to the hardest situation to deal with.

I have forged a bond with Jace. A great one. We have shared so many ups and downs for the past 5 months. I can’t just leave her to handle everything. It’s hard enough for us now, not having enough staff and when we do get new employees, they fuck us up by leaving only after 3 days of training and believe me, working under us is not difficult. We just don’t understand why we can’t get a decent staff like Shahrul. It’s really stressing us out right now. He’s leaving in June and really, we can’t find anyone as good and reliable as he is. All we need is just 2 reliable staff and we don’t even need full time staff – a part time will do! Gggrrrr…. It is so frustrating!

The only thing that keeps me sane at the moment is the fact that I am in love now. After 3 years of refraining myself from falling for someone for fear of getting hurt, I finally open and let my guards down… well, not entirely but strong enough now to actually love again. I just thought about it, what have I got to lose? If I do get hurt again (not that I want to get hurt but..), wouldn’t it just be another experience? Wouldn’t that make me a stronger person?

All I know right this moment is that he makes me happy. It’s insane. The way we met. It’s a blessing in disguise, he said. I was asked by a close of friend of mine, who was really into him at that time to catch him out and from there on, we ended up chatting more and getting to know more of each other. Things are getting pretty intense for both of us now and it’s scary but exciting at the same time. Like how I can’t wait to see how it will end up between us…. Will it work? Or will we go our separate ways?

He makes me feel good about myself. During one of our conversations, he said I made a difference in his life - yes, I would like to believe that but it's quite impossible for me to do that to him but if he said so then I guess I did then! I call him my sexy hot man because he is and well, physical aside, he has a great personality! So what more could a girl ask for?!

Down with a cold...

It's Sunday evening and I am at work. I have a cold and I am at work. I wish I was at home in bed. It's raining and it would be a good time to sleep in!!

I went clubbing with Zan and Scott last Friday night. We headed down to LeQueen and at around 11pm, it was still quiet. We sat down and moved to the sound of music playing. It wasn't a really good choice of songs at that time but it was alright.

11.30pm - I started seeing the crowds. Mostly men - yes, if you're familiar with KL nightlife, you would know that LeQueen is a gay club and a good one at that! I had so much fun although it is only my first time there. A lady is sure to feel safe in a gay club - doesn't matter if one is wearing something super sexy or not! Gay men are so generous with compliments and I must say, they have good fashion sense and taste in women - or shall I say faghag? LOL.

We left the place about 4am - went to mamak behind Istana hotel and headed for home afterwards. On the way home to KD, we passed by a wrecked car on the Penchala link highway. We stopped at the side and went to his rescue - well, Zan did. Scott told me to stay in the car as it may not be safe - ooh how sweet of you, Scott! The car was a total wreck, couldn't even ID what kinda car the man drove. Apparently, he was very drunk and was driving home alone. Zan called the police and ambulance. Later, due to oil leaking, the car caught fire so Zan called the fire department which took them oh about 20 mins to get there!! I was in total awe of what happened. Seriously - it was one of those nights where I would remember for a long time. LOL. I find things like that very fascinating. Got home about 6am and I totally crashed after all the dancing and waiting.

Tomorrow is a new week for everyone. I hope it'll be a good week for me! I have a meeting to attend on Tuesday so that's something I am looking forward to. One cousin of mine getting engaged this Saturday, I have to emcee an event with my company on the same Saturday and another cousin getting married on the 1st May. Wow - will be quite a week for me! I wish all of you a great week ahead!!

What I look for in a man

I was in bed last night when I started thinking about a question that was asked by a friend of mine which I didn't really answer. "What do you look for in a man/husband?". But now that I had given it a thought, here is what I have to say...

Communication - Okay, he must be able to communicate with me on every level. Whatever that is going on - bad or good - he must communicate with me no matter what! We must be able to work out our problems and the way to work it out is by communicating with one another.

Personality - My sexy hot man (yes I intend to have a sexy hot husband - call me a dreamer, I don't care!!) must have a personality that isn't like some broad-chested man with no brains. Or a computer geek who stays in front of his computer all day and night or a couch potato who does only that - sits in front of the tube and watch TV shows all day through! I need someone who is positive, has strong personality and is kind-hearted. I need to be with someone whose personality just engulfs me like a warm blanket!!

Sense of Humour - People say laughter is the best medicine. Yes it is! It breaks down tense moments and solidifies why you love that person. I have been told that I am funny or I have a rather decent sense of humour (sometimes my humourous side can be cynical and sarcastic but hey, it's humour nonetheless!!) but I need a man who will make me laugh which in turn will make me happy. Not only that, smiling and laughing tend to make one look younger, so yes, I need someone that can do both to me!

Trustworthy - Or someone loyal. I don't need a player in my life. Have had enough of that when I was younger. I want and need someone who will be mine and only mine and I am his. No one else.

Respect - Mutual respect is earned therefore if he respects me, I'll gladly return the respect. Enough said!

Sex - I have a sex drive that is only matched by a porn star. Okay okay, that is not so true. While my husband and I may not have sex everyday or multiple times a day, he must like sex a lot and be up for it at anytime as I feel that is one of the many ways to show your love for the one in your life.

Now on to the more specific details...

Spontaneous - Maybe a romantic getaway or those little notes left behind in closets, drawers etc or flowers sent to the office - those would be nice!!

Gets along with my family - Now if he can do that, he won't have to worry about me looking another way!!

Likes to spend time at home and read or watch DVDs with me - you know some quality time and cuddling up, those kinda things.

Intelligent - I must be with someone who can carry decent and intelligent conversation at any time. Someone that must be able to have thoughtful and deep discussions on anything and everything because that would also help me to become a better person at discussing things and to be more open.

Job - Must be able to make his own money as I am not going to be anyone's sugar mummy!

My love for petty things/F1/UFOs - Doesn't judge me based on all these things that fascinate me. In fact, if he loves it too - that would be a bonus but if he doesn't, it isn't the end of the world, I just discuss the matters with other people!

Friends - He must be able to accept my friends (very small amount of friends that I have, VERY small!) and respect them as I will, his friends. Must be able to accept the fact that I am good friends with my ex and nothing more than that.

Travel - He must love travelling because I do but I don't get to do it every so often so my partner must love it so we both can travel around the country/world when/if we can. Have romantic vacations now and then - that would be very nice!!!

Animals - Must love animals especially cats! I love cats. I used to have dozens and I would still like to have one soon. Horses - wonderful beings.

Last would be that I would love to have someone who is passionate about all things pursued. I admire and respect someone who is passionate about his hobbies, surroundings, beliefs.. someone who speaks their mind in a respectful manner.

I would also like someone who challenges me on every level. I always enjoy a good challenge, win or lose. He would be someone who makes me want to be a better person because they are that great of a person.

So there it is. The list of things I look for in a man. I don't think it's that hard to find someone like that? LOL.

Just one of those days...

Here I sit with my heart closing in. I am just in one of those moods where I feel down. It may be caused by the thoughts I had earlier - still have in fact. I hate it when I am doing just fine, smiling and having wonderful thoughts and out of nowhere, I just think of one stupid thing and it changes your mood. I f***ing hate that!!

It just ruins everything! All those little nice thoughts I have - gone! Poof! If only it was easy to get those nice little thoughts again. It would be easy to just block out and think of those nice thoughts but I just feel guilty to do so right now.

How can it not bring me down when things might get better between him and her? Yes, maybe I am thinking of it before it actually happened but I think by doing that, I am preparing myself from getting hurt again?

This sucks. Big time. Why must it be this way? Why??

Wow

Wow - I just went through all my entries and realised that I have had this blog up for 4 years! This is probably the longest relationship I have ever had!! LOL. If only I could have an actual relationship for THAT long!!!

Well, 4 years of tears, laughter, good memories, bad memories....

And more to come....

Cheers!!

A Long awaited entry

I am here to blog again after so long! I just haven't gotten to it. The last time I blogged, it was about a good friend of mine - and that was it. A lot has happened eversince. I have changed. I got over someone. I met a lot of people. Transfered to a new branch. Got closer to someone. Love someone. Yes, you read it correctly. Surprised? Yeah, imagine mine. Bonnie, if you're reading this - don't start teasing me. Yes I know it's about time, you freak!

Anyway....

I woke up to the sound of James Morisson ring tone on my cell. Zan called. I think he is still upset about his crush. He cried - no, nothing like when a woman cries! I wish I could have been there for him. It must have been hard for him to go home and to be alone in his apartment. I can't believe the things H said to him. I hate it when someone takes you for a ride and think it is alright to just drop you off and pick you up again at any time that one desires! I don't know why before this I thought gay people had it easy. I think that would be the farthest thing that they could ever have because they have so much more to prove to the society in order for society to accept them. Anyhow, I know how it feels like when you love someone that has extra baggage. I know for a fact that Zan has so much more to offer than his ex but if H chose to go back to his ex.. then clearly he's not worth it. You're better off with someone who cares and loves you and appreciates you. I mean who goes back to their exes anyway?! Especially if you caught him with his pants down?!

I read this article by Jay Leno on sports cars. He owns an SLR McLaren, if I am not mistaken. The article was good and accurate. He mentioned in his article that he worked on this rap artist who also owns the same car and how they got into a conversation about SLR McLaren. Leno said it's just too bad that SLR McLaren doesn't come up with a manual because it would have been brilliant to drive a manual - the rap artist agreed and funny thing was at the end, he said he (the rapper) doesn't know how to drive a stick!! It's stupid to own a McLaren (eventhough it's auto), Lambo or Ferrari and not driving a stick! What's the point in that? Esp for men!!! He mentioned Robbie Williams owns a Lambo or was it the same car (not too sure) as well and has a driver to drive him around in it!!!! OMG!!! You're a man, be a man and drive it yourself! If you do not know how to drive a stick, don't buy a Lambo just for the sake of having one and showing it off to the world that you can afford one. I'd laugh to his face, seriously. What a wuss!! Even here in Malaysia, it's funny to see some men showing off their over the top ridiculously-expensive cars and when you ask, "so it's manual right?" - most of them would say "hell no - you can't be driving a manual in KL!!". Dude!! That's not the point! You buy a sports car for it's power, the adrenaline rush you get when you shift the friggin' gear... omg, what do I know?! I'm a woman so I don't think I should get into this but really, I don't even think it's practical for one to get a Lambo here in Malaysia anyway. I know someone who owns a Ferrari Enzo and it's just lying there in his garage.... how sad! With the amount of money you spent to buy it - it'd be much better for you to help those with no food, no shelter - let alone a car!!

I have to get some errands done and then heading off to Casa Tropicana to take a look at some of the units. I am still thinking about it - not too sure if I am doing the right thing by moving out but I do know at some point, I will have to do it and why not now? I think I am thinking more about how lonely my parents would feel without me around. We have all gotten used to having the three of us back together and it has always been just us ever since El got married so if I moved out then it would be like starting all over again (in a way, that's a challenge for me) and a lot of adjustments would have to be made. My father has never liked the idea of my living on my own. He would avoid at all cost to discuss on that matter but one day, he just came up to me and asked if I had taken a look at any and even offered to come with me. It meant something to me for him to say that. I know it is very hard for both my parents to let me go (being the only girl and the youngest) again but I just feel it's about time and it only makes sense for me to move out somewhere closer to the academy. Funny thing is, I remember about a year ago or maybe 2 - my father had ask me to apply for a job in Dubai. Now that he can let go but for me to move out out of the house - no?! Just recently, my cousin called from Sudan, Africa and told my parents that she wanted me to work with her and they were quite happy about it! So what's wrong with moving out somewhere 30 mins away from them?! My father is a funny man. Fickle too! Very!! And I got that from him! Anyway, Ezy (my second brother) saw a really nice house nearby Eddie's place (my first brother) so if they like the house then at any time, Eddie can check up on them so that made me feel a little better. It just worries me because both my parents are at the age where their health is beginning to deteriorate - that is what worries me most.

Now that Eddie has arrived, I am going to hit the shower and out for lunch. House-hunting should be fun with Eddie - he seem to have a thing for properties. The right person to go with! No promises on more entries as I might not have that much time to blog as often... as I always say it!!

Some things are not meant to be....

For the past few days, things have been a lil rough between me and B. Things I have said - was suppose to be a joke - turned out to be the main issue of our argument. I guess it was for the best... but if it is, why do I feel down? I just wish I had a way to make it better... or at least a way for us to be good friends... but even that - I am not sure of.

I just want you to know that I am not feeling any better about this situation but there isn't anything we can do about it because we both know that the longer we talk about it, the more painful it will be for us.

Other than this, there is another thing that is bothering me but as always, I do not want to get into it at the moment.

Have a good week ahead, everyone...

Cheers!

Song

Artist : James Morrison
Album : Undiscovered
Title : You Give Me Something

you only stay with me in the morning
you only hold me when i sleep
i was meant to tread the water
but now i've gotten in too deep

for every piece of me that wants you
another piece backs away
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart

you only waited up for hours
just to spend a little time alone with me
and i can say i've never bought you flowers
i can't work out what they mean
i never thought that i'd love someone
that was someone else's dream

you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might call you from my heart
but it might be a second too late
and the words that i could never say
are gonna come out anyway

you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart

know my heart, know my heart, know my heart


This song has left a huge impact on me. I can just relate to this song in so many ways. I'm hooked on it. Seriously... I'm HOOKED on it!!!

I couldn't sleep last night. I was feeling restless... and sad. There are just so many things on my mind but I just can't seem to let it all out. I don't know why... but I just can't.

In fact, I don't even have anything much to say here. It's a bright day today... but somehow, it's rather dark for me...

Boring day for me...

It has been a very unproductive day for me. I came to work at 11.30am. Woke up quite early actually, that's good. Wish I had my gym bag with me so that I can get some work out done today but I forgot to prepare my stuff, night before and didn't have time to do so just now.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed I looked like I have been crying non-stop last night. I hate this. I hate looking like this. People are really gonna think that I've been crying, in fact - I had a stranger came up to me and asked if everything is alright - lady, yes... everything is perfectly fine, thank you for asking. I think I'm going through one of those days... yes - PMS.

Not really in a good mood... I hate this! Really, I do. No kidding.

Beta version? hmmm..

Okay I don't know what's with this Beta version. I specifically clicked on the 'NO' button but it decided to proceed with the Beta version anyway! I hate Beta... okay, maybe because this pc seems to be a little slow, I guess that's why I find Beta not that user-friendly - yes, I know you people think Beta is much better but it's my blog and I have the right to say whatever I want here - okay, so out of the context and I seriously have forgotten what I was getting at... This happens when I drink too much coffee in the afternoon and am hungry too.

Note to self : No more coffee for today!

My niecey's concert is tomorrow, so am off from work. Yeay! I can't wait because I have not spent quality time with the whole family lately due to my busy schedule. Am really looking forward to tomorrow. Wafi - that's my niece - she's 4 and soooooo cute! Gorgeous babe is more like it! She's been showing off her dancing skills to me - she asked if I could dance, hell yes I can! I actually think she's very talented. Good actor too! LOL. Am thinking of compiling a comp card of her and send them to all the talent agencies. Yes, am very proud of her.

Work has been rather... hectic and unorganised. I don't know how many times have I actually organised, well, all of us actually and still there is always something that is left undone. Come 26th Dec, I will be transfered to the new centre. I'm quite excited about it but also, a little sad. I won't be working with the same people and I realised that I am already missing half the people I know here - students included. I guess I will have to adapt to the changes and I always do so shouldn't be a problem... right??

Anyway, it feels good when you have someone to think about... always...

Have a great weekend, everyone!

blerh

It's been a tiring week. I haven't been getting enough sleep so that makes me a lil mean towards everyone. I am still coughing so that makes it a week now. On top of my having a cough, I now have a cold as well. Great. Woohoo.

Work has been a lil stressful. Something happened at work and it has totally changed my perception of the person involved. You'd think that you know that person so well... and bam! It hit you that you don't really know that person after all. I hate when that happens. It just gives you a whole different look on everything and everyone. It really hurts to have gotten to know what he did. Not only that, I am very disappointed with him. Very. I can't even explain or describe how disapppointed I am. I have to get up every day, get ready to work and face him and act as if I have no idea what's going on. I have to talk to him as I always do... I think as a friend, he's a nice person but I don't think I can face him... or even look at him the same way.. ever again.

It's just one of those days where I need to let it out...

The Day After...

It was a very exhausting day yesterday. I got up at 7am, got ready to work and arrived an hour later. The first to arrived. I have totally forgotten about the BM Perdana seminar so I was looking forward to be going home around 1630... alas! I got home only about 15mins before 2100. So I was at work for about 11 hrs yesterday... friggin' tired!!!

Today, it's a pretty slow day at work. I can't wait to go home and get some sleep!

It's a sunny day... wish I was on somewhere in Langkawi, at the beach. With my suntan lotion, mocktail and sunglasses. Just lying on the beach... listening to my music collection on my Sony mp3. Sigh... I'm in need of a break!! I can't wait for Dec to come... hurry up, December!!!

Okay, I have issues to resolve now. Parents to attend to... an angry aunt of a student who's pissed off because her niece is an ignorant lil... (I shall not continue) well, so is the aunt! Anyway, bloggers... have a great day!

Anticipation

Sigh...

Another day, another problem...

I can handle it. Yup, I can!! (Keep repeating that to urself if u ever come across a problem and it really works! - yeah ryte!!).

The problem is nothing compared to what I'm going thru in my personal life. Work related problems are the easiest to overcome simply because - it's either a problem u face every other day or the computer's being an arse... so yeah, that makes it easy to rectify.

As for my personal life... well.. that's another story.

Which I am not about to get into... at the moment.

I've been having chest pains for the past few weeks. Lately, it's getting worst.. I haven't had a good sleep for the past few nights because of it. Going to the doctor is something quite routine for me. I hate depending on pills... not that I am addicted to them but it's more about my ego. I feel like I'm a freaking superhuman who does not need any kind of supplements padahal I do need them.. hehe.. not making sense, I know.

Look I'm bored and I've finished up what's need to be done here... hence the ramblings!!

Oooh... I heard so much about 'Prestige' and I am dying to go catch it...

Anyone? ;)

At last, a new entry...

First of all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all Muslims... Hope it has been a great one this year for everyone else as it's been one for me and my family.

So it has been a year since I last blogged. Again, my excuse is still the same. I've been swamped with work and family matters. I'm always busy, yes.. I really am.

This year, my parents and I went back to Penang to celebrate Aidilfitri with my grandmother and mum's sibs. It was a great one this year. Had loads of fun and somehow, it's a lil different this year compared to last couple of years. Last year, we celebrated in KL and it was rather dull. There's no life in KL during festive season so it's really quiet and boring.

Usually on the first day of Aidilfitri, after salam Raya with family members and relatives and makan, my bros and I would head to the room and sleep. Yes... we sleep on the first day of Raya.. almost the whole day! This year, my bros went back to their wives' hometowns to celebrate so there's only me in Penang.. and no, I didn't sleep. Okay, I might have lied there.. I did sleep but only for about an hr or 2. My cousin has taken over the reign, he slept from 11am till 8pm!! I'm not kidding! He must have been effing tired or just plain effing sleepy!

One of the things that made Raya this year fun was the part where all of us - my mum, my aunts, my female cousins and nieces slept in one room! All the men in the family slept downstairs in the family hall. The ladies were making jokes and talking about the past. It was fun listening to my mum and aunts telling us, kids about their ex-bfs and stuff.. LOL.

It was a fantastic Raya and I'm really looking forward to next year. In fact, it was so much fun that we planned to have a family gathering for Hari Raya Aidiladha. Can't wait for that!!