Just one of those days...

Here I sit with my heart closing in. I am just in one of those moods where I feel down. It may be caused by the thoughts I had earlier - still have in fact. I hate it when I am doing just fine, smiling and having wonderful thoughts and out of nowhere, I just think of one stupid thing and it changes your mood. I f***ing hate that!!

It just ruins everything! All those little nice thoughts I have - gone! Poof! If only it was easy to get those nice little thoughts again. It would be easy to just block out and think of those nice thoughts but I just feel guilty to do so right now.

How can it not bring me down when things might get better between him and her? Yes, maybe I am thinking of it before it actually happened but I think by doing that, I am preparing myself from getting hurt again?

This sucks. Big time. Why must it be this way? Why??