Alhamdullillah.. the interview went well. My interview was at 12noon but I was late due to the speed trap along the Cyberjaya link. I was praying HARD as not to get summoned! Nasib baik tak. Arrived there at about 12.30pm, went straight to the Corporate Office altho I needed to pee badly (yeah, u don't need to know that.. hehe) and they said I was late.. (tell me something I don't already know!) so I should wait while they interview those who arrived first. Too many things to tell but I think over all I did pretty good. I just have to wait till Friday to know if I nailed it or not. Friday!! That's like.. 4 days more to go! Oh and after all the studying I did on Air Asia and the Asia region, not even one of them asked me anything on that!! I could tell anyone of u anything on Air Asia ryte now! Not that it was a waste of reading, at least I know things most.. well, some of the ppl out there don't know. Hehe. Like u would really wanna know about Air Asia.
I haven't read the papers yet. Not even yesterday's. That is so unlike me. I think I was preparing for the interview and I had a really bad day yesterday. I have to catch up on my reading soon.
Nick called to wish me good luck. Oh and those who I didn't expect to call me up and wish me, actually did!! Okay, not call but at least they sms-ed me. It's so sweet of u guys. Elsa, Azmir, Nick and Abg El. Roselyn wished me good luck as well. Hehe.. thanks ppl! Really appreciate it! Azmir especially. He doesn't really remember all this stuff but surprisingly he did. I actually almost fell off the bed when I received his sms. Hmmm.. he actually remembered.. WOW! That was nice.
So.. Friday huh? What am I going to do till Friday so that I won't think.. "Oh man.. it's only Tuesday!".. "Geez.. Today is Wednesday??".. u catch the drift?
Monday, May 31, 2004
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Not a bad hair day.. Just a BAD day!
I think today is officially the worst day of May! Okay, no.. May 9th was the worst day, no.. that was the worst day of my life! But today is the worst day of May! I'm having a bad day and I wish I had someone I could talk to. Someone who can make me smile.. even for a second...
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Dinner was yummy!
Had a delicious dinner! It was a feast! I haven't been eating well lately but tonyte, when I looked at the dishes, I just had to! Y-u-m-m-y!
I don't watch malay movies nor do I watch telemovies. But after I know who Ako Mustapha is, well, after I saw how he looked like (that was a yr ago or maybe more) I started watching. Only if the main male character is played by Ako Mustapha. This year especially, there is a lot of telemovies starring Ako. He is just so adorable. His acting, well... I don't really know how to judge Malaysian acting but I guess he's good at what he's doing. Oh well, he's so comel so that should be enough. Hehe. Too bad he has a gf... Darn!
I don't watch malay movies nor do I watch telemovies. But after I know who Ako Mustapha is, well, after I saw how he looked like (that was a yr ago or maybe more) I started watching. Only if the main male character is played by Ako Mustapha. This year especially, there is a lot of telemovies starring Ako. He is just so adorable. His acting, well... I don't really know how to judge Malaysian acting but I guess he's good at what he's doing. Oh well, he's so comel so that should be enough. Hehe. Too bad he has a gf... Darn!
The Reason..
I've found a reason for me,
To change who i used to be..
A reason to start over new,
And the reason is you...
I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know...
A reason for all that i do
And the reason is you...
To change who i used to be..
A reason to start over new,
And the reason is you...
I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know...
A reason for all that i do
And the reason is you...
An exciting week!
Okay, it wasn't all that exciting but pretty exciting enough for me. First of all, I had an interview with Air Asia. Passed the first and second interview. The second interview was pretty hard for I had to stand in front of 20 pretty ladies and explain to them on how to save someone. The thing is, I would have probably fainted if it were in front of 20 gorgeous guys but standing before 20 pretty ladies were hard enough. Some of them looked like they were undressing me with their eyes... pretty scary. So, I went home after the 2nd interview and told my parents that I screwed it up by answering one question wrong. Yeah, one question! Actually, i answered it correctly, it's just that I added another destination. Hello! It's Air Asia not Air Istella.. if it's my airline, I would probably fly to that mentioned destination but noo, it's not my airline! Well, just when I thot I failed, I received a call 2 days after that from Air Asia. Congratulated me on passing the 2nd interview.. *phheeww* and told me to come for the 3rd and last interview on Monday. Now, I'm restless. I am! I dunno why!! If I get the job, fine. If I don't, fine with me. It's just that... I have this feeling they're gonna ask me some stupid questions that a 10 yr old kid could answer and I'm gonna screw it up bcoz I'm bloody nervous! Rangga! If u're reading this, they fly to Jakarta. Hehe. I got that ryte! So, let's just hope I get the job so that u can take me to whatever Square u call it. Told my frens and they want u to take them clubbing. Hehehe. So, u're like our tour guide.
That aside, another exciting thing about this week was the American Idol results. I dunno about some of u guys but I like Diana Degarmo. Fantasia Barrino can sing, no doubt there but I just don't really like her voice. She's a great entertainer tho, better than Diana but I think Diana sings much better. And again, that's my opinion. I'm not saying I know better but when she sang 'I Believe'... she made me cry. I love that song.
Other than that.. my third brother was offered a job in Dubai. So if he decides to go, I'll be left alone. With my parents. I'm really close with my third brother altho we argue every single day... actually, that was last year or so but we've been really nice to each other lately and been going out a lot together which is very rare. He's a bit of a loner. Pathetice loser. Hahaha... well, so am I! Anyway, I didn't cry when Ezy left but if El leaves for Dubai, I think I'll cry. No.. I am gonna cry. The night I got the news from him, I thot about it. If he leaves, I have no one to turn to. I do tell my mum everything but there are things that we siblings tell only each other. He's very protective of me. He doesn't show it but he was really upset when I told him what happened. He saw me crying a couple of weeks back and I told him why. He told my mum he's hurt as well. That's the sweetest thing I have ever heard from him. Not straight from his mouth but to know that he's hurt coz I am from my mum, that was good enough. So that nyte, just thinking about it, made me cry. I'm pretty sure when the day comes for us to send him off to the airport.. I'll cry. I'll cry a river. Hehehe. Gile.
That aside, another exciting thing about this week was the American Idol results. I dunno about some of u guys but I like Diana Degarmo. Fantasia Barrino can sing, no doubt there but I just don't really like her voice. She's a great entertainer tho, better than Diana but I think Diana sings much better. And again, that's my opinion. I'm not saying I know better but when she sang 'I Believe'... she made me cry. I love that song.
Other than that.. my third brother was offered a job in Dubai. So if he decides to go, I'll be left alone. With my parents. I'm really close with my third brother altho we argue every single day... actually, that was last year or so but we've been really nice to each other lately and been going out a lot together which is very rare. He's a bit of a loner. Pathetice loser. Hahaha... well, so am I! Anyway, I didn't cry when Ezy left but if El leaves for Dubai, I think I'll cry. No.. I am gonna cry. The night I got the news from him, I thot about it. If he leaves, I have no one to turn to. I do tell my mum everything but there are things that we siblings tell only each other. He's very protective of me. He doesn't show it but he was really upset when I told him what happened. He saw me crying a couple of weeks back and I told him why. He told my mum he's hurt as well. That's the sweetest thing I have ever heard from him. Not straight from his mouth but to know that he's hurt coz I am from my mum, that was good enough. So that nyte, just thinking about it, made me cry. I'm pretty sure when the day comes for us to send him off to the airport.. I'll cry. I'll cry a river. Hehehe. Gile.
Monday, May 24, 2004
I knew it!
You Are Flirt-able!
You are the best of both worlds - sexy and friendly, but not in either box.
Your charm is addicting, and you always have plenty of people flirting with you.
And if you want to turn things up, that's always an option for you.
You have plenty of options - without being the person everyone has already done :-)
Are You F***able?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Saturday, May 22, 2004
A lil something..
I wrote your name in the sky
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay..
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay..
Sex in the City of KL
I have been following the case of Norrita S. in the newspaper and on tv. I read about it now and then. I read just a couple of hours ago on her case. I'm not going to write anything or give my opinion on the case bcoz I do not know her and I'm the last person who should judge her altho a lot of ppl are giving their own opinions of what sort of a person Norrita is.
The thing is with some ppl, they like to talk about what's happening in other ppl's lives. They like it when bad things are happening to other ppl. I can't imagine the pain her parents are goin thru ryte now. It must be hell for them and I pity them. How in the world would they know their daughter would turn out like that? Whatever it is that she supposedly did...
Anyway, there is so much that is goin on in KL that doesn't surprised me when the news of Norrita came out. Altho we're a Muslim country and we uphold our Asian values, KL is very much a sexual town. I know of a gal who sleeps with at least 3 guys in a week and she has more to come. She's even proud of doing so. There is even news going around about men who are high fliers in the corporate world and are lovers of women, but when the sun sets, they go out looking for young men. My point is KL is not as old-fashioned as we would like to think so. It's way advanced than any other cities. Homosexuals (in Malaysia) are slowly coming out of the closet, or maybe they already have. I'm not against it, in fact I respect those who come out publicly admitting the fact that they're happy being gay (somehow that sounds a bit redundant). Ppl here are no longer afraid to show their sexual preferences. It scares me, really but I guess there isn't anything anyone of us can do about it. It's want they chose and that's the way they want to live their lives. It will definitely scare the hell out of me if my daughter/son comes up to me and say "hey mum, i'm dating a gal/guy".. who wouldn't? I'm speaking for those who are straight. I'm sure you would freak out too but really, is there anything we can do about it? I don't think locking up gays are the answer to it. That's just so wrong.
So, the thing is... no matter how much u hate to admit it, sex is everywhere, honey. It's either u're apart of it or u're not. That's ur choice...
The thing is with some ppl, they like to talk about what's happening in other ppl's lives. They like it when bad things are happening to other ppl. I can't imagine the pain her parents are goin thru ryte now. It must be hell for them and I pity them. How in the world would they know their daughter would turn out like that? Whatever it is that she supposedly did...
Anyway, there is so much that is goin on in KL that doesn't surprised me when the news of Norrita came out. Altho we're a Muslim country and we uphold our Asian values, KL is very much a sexual town. I know of a gal who sleeps with at least 3 guys in a week and she has more to come. She's even proud of doing so. There is even news going around about men who are high fliers in the corporate world and are lovers of women, but when the sun sets, they go out looking for young men. My point is KL is not as old-fashioned as we would like to think so. It's way advanced than any other cities. Homosexuals (in Malaysia) are slowly coming out of the closet, or maybe they already have. I'm not against it, in fact I respect those who come out publicly admitting the fact that they're happy being gay (somehow that sounds a bit redundant). Ppl here are no longer afraid to show their sexual preferences. It scares me, really but I guess there isn't anything anyone of us can do about it. It's want they chose and that's the way they want to live their lives. It will definitely scare the hell out of me if my daughter/son comes up to me and say "hey mum, i'm dating a gal/guy".. who wouldn't? I'm speaking for those who are straight. I'm sure you would freak out too but really, is there anything we can do about it? I don't think locking up gays are the answer to it. That's just so wrong.
So, the thing is... no matter how much u hate to admit it, sex is everywhere, honey. It's either u're apart of it or u're not. That's ur choice...
Friday, May 21, 2004
Libra Woman
Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look younger than her age. She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She looks nice in either jeans or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is winning.
She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She cannot decide what to do, and what not to do, so she cannot set her schedule very well in all cases. She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.
In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.
She always has a good reason, even she likes to contradict herself. She cannot decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people, or what you feel as much as her own feeling. She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.
Good side of being with Libra woman is she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you.
She thinks taking care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may lose you (let you win) in a few poker games.
If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind, polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!
I got this from Azmir (he got it from a fren). He said it's all true about me. Hehehe.. I think so too. Except the part which it says i spent a lot of efforts to keep my skin clean and pretty.. I don't. A flirt.. maybe I am..
She is a little flirt even she has no idea what she wants. She cannot decide what to do, and what not to do, so she cannot set her schedule very well in all cases. She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.
In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.
She always has a good reason, even she likes to contradict herself. She cannot decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people, or what you feel as much as her own feeling. She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.
Good side of being with Libra woman is she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you.
She thinks taking care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may lose you (let you win) in a few poker games.
If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind, polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!
I got this from Azmir (he got it from a fren). He said it's all true about me. Hehehe.. I think so too. Except the part which it says i spent a lot of efforts to keep my skin clean and pretty.. I don't. A flirt.. maybe I am..
It's not goodbye, it's hello.. in reverse!
I took this personality shit test... yes, I was bored and i got this...
-You are very respectful of the needs and wants of other people.
-You generally take pride in being a strong community member.
-You tend to have very high values.
-You like to gather facts and think things over before offering a strong opinion.
-You are skilled at being diplomatic with people in all settings.
-You are generally good at cooling down tense situations in a relationship.
-You tend to be an objective, careful evaluator of situations.
-You tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.
-You tend to bring feelings of security and stability to a relationship.
-You are excellent at listening to your partner.
Hmmm... so wat say you?
-You are very respectful of the needs and wants of other people.
-You generally take pride in being a strong community member.
-You tend to have very high values.
-You like to gather facts and think things over before offering a strong opinion.
-You are skilled at being diplomatic with people in all settings.
-You are generally good at cooling down tense situations in a relationship.
-You tend to be an objective, careful evaluator of situations.
-You tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.
-You tend to bring feelings of security and stability to a relationship.
-You are excellent at listening to your partner.
Hmmm... so wat say you?
"But.. I'm not anorexic.."
So I went to see the doctor yesterday. Everyone is making a big fuss about my not eating and after each meal, I'm off to the ladies. I'm not anorexic. I wouldn't want to be even if I'm unhappy with my body which I am, btw. Maybe a lil more weight would be better but I love my body and wouldn't do anything to it.
Besides my losing appetite, I have gotten back my chest pains. I was doing good before, a couple of weeks back but now, it's getting worst and sometimes, I can't sleep at nyte and when I do get some sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the nyte becoz I would get this aching feeling on my chest.. like someone's stabbing me, but this time from the front. It hurts like hell and it gets to the point where I would cry myself to sleep.
So, how's the new look? I love it and thanks to Chocolaty for making it happen. Thank u so much!
Besides my losing appetite, I have gotten back my chest pains. I was doing good before, a couple of weeks back but now, it's getting worst and sometimes, I can't sleep at nyte and when I do get some sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the nyte becoz I would get this aching feeling on my chest.. like someone's stabbing me, but this time from the front. It hurts like hell and it gets to the point where I would cry myself to sleep.
So, how's the new look? I love it and thanks to Chocolaty for making it happen. Thank u so much!
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Would u like to give it a whirl? Yes pls...
It's 2.30pm and I haven't eaten. Why? I dunno. I still haven't the appetite. I'm having gastric and it is sooo painful. Yeah, my fault I know but I don't wanna force myself to eat. I would probably just throw up after eating. That's gross and I don't wanna throw up.
I just got back from an appointment. She has finally decided on her wedding gown. Thank God! Now, I have to check on other stuff and hopefully by Sunday, everything will be all good to pass it over to my partner. Starting Monday, I'm a part-time WP. It's not that I'm not doing good, I just need some time to think. To think about what I want and what to do about it.
Am I doing better today? Nope. I dunno when I will be. I'm not asking for anybody's sympathy. I don't need it. I just need someone to talk to. Not about him. I just wanna get whatever that is bottled up inside me out. Okay, maybe a bit on him but not entirely. I do have some other problems. I know I can talk to Nick but he's not here and god knows when he'll be back. He said soon but soon could be next 2 weeks or so. I miss having someone to talk to. I guess Azmir was really the only one I talked to if I have anything on my mind. Now... I don't wanna burden him with my problems. I don't wanna get used to that bcoz when he finds someone new, I'm sure she wouldn't like the idea of me calling him up now and then to talk. I miss him..
I just got back from an appointment. She has finally decided on her wedding gown. Thank God! Now, I have to check on other stuff and hopefully by Sunday, everything will be all good to pass it over to my partner. Starting Monday, I'm a part-time WP. It's not that I'm not doing good, I just need some time to think. To think about what I want and what to do about it.
Am I doing better today? Nope. I dunno when I will be. I'm not asking for anybody's sympathy. I don't need it. I just need someone to talk to. Not about him. I just wanna get whatever that is bottled up inside me out. Okay, maybe a bit on him but not entirely. I do have some other problems. I know I can talk to Nick but he's not here and god knows when he'll be back. He said soon but soon could be next 2 weeks or so. I miss having someone to talk to. I guess Azmir was really the only one I talked to if I have anything on my mind. Now... I don't wanna burden him with my problems. I don't wanna get used to that bcoz when he finds someone new, I'm sure she wouldn't like the idea of me calling him up now and then to talk. I miss him..
Help..
Oh God... please please please take this sadness out of me... please take it away.. someone.. anyone.. please....
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
5 reasons why my life suck at this moment...
1 - The shoutbox is facing some problems and it looks sucky on my page ryte now!
2 - My room looks as if a tornado just hit it and I'm in no mood to clean it up.
3 - Am no longer organising St. John's event due to my over-the-top charges.. what over-the-top!?! It's freaking CHEAP, u doofus!
4 - I am losing appetite to eat.. 'nuff said.
5 - I miss him and he doesn't care!
2 - My room looks as if a tornado just hit it and I'm in no mood to clean it up.
3 - Am no longer organising St. John's event due to my over-the-top charges.. what over-the-top!?! It's freaking CHEAP, u doofus!
4 - I am losing appetite to eat.. 'nuff said.
5 - I miss him and he doesn't care!
F*** Off with your Attitude!
A bunch of frens came over to see me. Went to have dinner with them at Gazebo. I dropped by at Starbucks to say hi to Mokh. Asked him how he's doing and he said fine. Been busy. Asked him how come no phone calls/smses (I asked as a good fren of his and in my sweetest voice) and know what he said? "Ohh.. I have a gf now, so been spending time with her".. okay, I'm cool with that. It's great that he has a gf.. finally! Then, I asked hm how long has it been.. and he answered in a f***ing rude way.. "so sibuk!".. hello! I'm a fren of urs, if u have forgotten. I'm sorry I hurt ur feelings for having a bf but u don't have to give me an attitude for asking how u've f***ing been for the past few months. It was so uncalled for, buddy! U wanna be rude to me.. fine but u don't bloody have to do it in public. How would u f***ing feel if I do that to u?? Geez.. for all u know, ur relationship wouldn't last and u're acting all snooty! F*** u! That's all I have to say. F*** to all the guys out there! U're all f***ed up!!! I was being concerned about u not keeping in touch, and this is the treatment I get. U guys are all the same.. be it guyfrens or boyfren. U know, from now on.. don't give a f***ing care about me.. coz I don't f***ing care no more!! Okay, this is me when I'm angry... I probably read this back tomorrow morning and laugh my head off but for now, I'm so bloody upset. Everything is just soooooo wrong for me at the moment. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Breakaway Pangkor
Hey.. anyone wants to go for a holiday? There'll be 9 DJs and partying all nyte long.. so if any one of u is interested, check this out Breakaway. It's cheap... get ur frens to come along and u'll get to split the cash, so u don't have to spend so much.. yada yada yada.
New..
Okay.. I'm taking out the guestbook out of my site... so that anyone who wants to say something can do so either on the comment box or shoutbox (on the right, the box in pink!). It's easy. So, just write whatever u want like hello.. how r u? If u have comments on my entries, then click at the comment and fill it up. It's easy. Even a 10 yr-old can do it. Aight? Aightt..
Hey Rangga, where have u been? Spending time with ur boo, ay? Hehe.. have fun!
Hey Rangga, where have u been? Spending time with ur boo, ay? Hehe.. have fun!
It's a hot sunny day and I'm sweating like a pig!
There was a power failure in my area a couple of hours ago. It's back on and THANK GOD! I was bored to death with nothing to do or to watch. I'm glad the power came back on before the sun goes down.
Nick is such a loser! Haha. I know u're gonna read this later. I'm chatting with him while I'm blogging. Yeah, I know I don't bloody have to tell the whole world but it's my bloody blog and I'll bloody write what I bloody want! Wooohooo!! Told u, Nick.. I can write the word bloody 4 times in a sentence. Hah! U owe me another pine of B&J! Sigh... it's not like I can eat it with u-know-who. U're busy with that... what's her name.. that french chick... femmefatale.. to eat share with me... but u know I'd rather share with him or Brandon Boyd. Sigh.... ice-cream & BB.... is that hell or heaven, mann?!?! I dunno, u tell me! Sooo... now u have to go off! Geeez...
I dunno how I'm feeling ryte now, Nick. I'm hurt. Sad. Weak. Sick. Exhausted. Angry. Confused. But I can still put a smile on my face. I guess I just don't want anyone else to know. Most of my frens still don't know and they don't read my blog, so none of them know. I'm such a failure when it comes to r/ships. Everybody leaves me at the end. It is never the other way around. Okay, I left Y but only after I found out he was cheating on me.. but that shows what a failure I am as a gf. Shuq left me. Rofhan hurt me badly. Nick.. only we both know what he did to hurt me. Yeah, Nick's my bestfren after we dated each other and I caught him with another gal playing trains and tunnels. Which took me years to accept him as a fren. Now, it's him. I'm not mad at Azmir. I'm not. Maybe I am but not angry enough to strangle him or pull his hair out! I'm just hurt...
*Shakes head* I gotta talk about something else. I was thinking just now while I was sweating due to the power failure.. no one is perfect. A person can't have everything. It's either u have the looks with no brain or a brainy that looks... I'm thinking ugly coz I can't seem to think of a more gentle word to replace it with. So, yeah.. u can't have it all... even if u're gorgeous and intelligent, u bound to have something negative about u. It could be ur BO or u're not good with older ppl/kids/society or something like that but let's say, someone u know.. is intelligent, has a social skill of Oprah Winfrey and smells good all the time but, yes there is a BUT, he/she looks like one of the guys/gals u wouldn't be caught dead with, now he/she wouldn't be considered perfect ryte? What if he/she undergoes a plastic surgery to make him/herself look good-looking.. now, he/she has ALL THAT.. so does that make he/she perfect? Do u get what I'm trying to say here? U can't seem to find anything negative about him/her. So, he/she is perfect ryte? But what about the plastic surgery? He/she is not perfect after all but he/she has the looks, attitude and everything u could only possibly dream about. DOES THAT MAKE HIM/HER PERFECT?!?!?! I'm getting a headache just trying to figure out how to put this out in words...
Nick is such a loser! Haha. I know u're gonna read this later. I'm chatting with him while I'm blogging. Yeah, I know I don't bloody have to tell the whole world but it's my bloody blog and I'll bloody write what I bloody want! Wooohooo!! Told u, Nick.. I can write the word bloody 4 times in a sentence. Hah! U owe me another pine of B&J! Sigh... it's not like I can eat it with u-know-who. U're busy with that... what's her name.. that french chick... femmefatale.. to eat share with me... but u know I'd rather share with him or Brandon Boyd. Sigh.... ice-cream & BB.... is that hell or heaven, mann?!?! I dunno, u tell me! Sooo... now u have to go off! Geeez...
I dunno how I'm feeling ryte now, Nick. I'm hurt. Sad. Weak. Sick. Exhausted. Angry. Confused. But I can still put a smile on my face. I guess I just don't want anyone else to know. Most of my frens still don't know and they don't read my blog, so none of them know. I'm such a failure when it comes to r/ships. Everybody leaves me at the end. It is never the other way around. Okay, I left Y but only after I found out he was cheating on me.. but that shows what a failure I am as a gf. Shuq left me. Rofhan hurt me badly. Nick.. only we both know what he did to hurt me. Yeah, Nick's my bestfren after we dated each other and I caught him with another gal playing trains and tunnels. Which took me years to accept him as a fren. Now, it's him. I'm not mad at Azmir. I'm not. Maybe I am but not angry enough to strangle him or pull his hair out! I'm just hurt...
*Shakes head* I gotta talk about something else. I was thinking just now while I was sweating due to the power failure.. no one is perfect. A person can't have everything. It's either u have the looks with no brain or a brainy that looks... I'm thinking ugly coz I can't seem to think of a more gentle word to replace it with. So, yeah.. u can't have it all... even if u're gorgeous and intelligent, u bound to have something negative about u. It could be ur BO or u're not good with older ppl/kids/society or something like that but let's say, someone u know.. is intelligent, has a social skill of Oprah Winfrey and smells good all the time but, yes there is a BUT, he/she looks like one of the guys/gals u wouldn't be caught dead with, now he/she wouldn't be considered perfect ryte? What if he/she undergoes a plastic surgery to make him/herself look good-looking.. now, he/she has ALL THAT.. so does that make he/she perfect? Do u get what I'm trying to say here? U can't seem to find anything negative about him/her. So, he/she is perfect ryte? But what about the plastic surgery? He/she is not perfect after all but he/she has the looks, attitude and everything u could only possibly dream about. DOES THAT MAKE HIM/HER PERFECT?!?!?! I'm getting a headache just trying to figure out how to put this out in words...
Okay.. so I lied..
About wanting to go to bed or lock myself up. I'm still online bcoz I know if I were to go into my room, I would start thinking about things that would upset me and eventually cry myself to sleep... no, have been doing that for the past couple of days.. make it 7 days.. so.. yeah, need to take my mind off it.
I wish I had gone out today. Catch a movie. Alone. Hehe. I have never done that in my entire 23 and a half yrs of living in this beautiful country. I love Malaysia. It's soooo beautiful!! So many things for foreigners to look forward to here.. and.. okay, let's get back to what I was saying.. yeah, I have never. Have u? I don't think I can watch a movie alone at the cinema, mind u.. if it were at home, yeah.. I've done that a million times! I can't. I would probably sit for.. let's say.. 10 mins.. and BYE! I don't know how the hell my bros can do that. I've told my frens.. a million times that I'm gonna give that a try.. yeah, maybe we'll get tickets of the same movie but different seats.. and u're all thinking.. "WTF?? That's pretty much like watching it with the whole gang!" ... I KNOW!!!! But I just can't see myself seating alone with a couple next to me.. both sides.. so weird! I'm not saying those who had watched a movie alone or the ones who have been doing that all this while are pathetic losers.. NO, sir.. u're not! I respect those lonerangers.. hehe.. I always giggle when I use that word.. lonerangers... khekhekhe...
Okay.. my dad wants to go eat mee goreng mamak now.. gotta teman him. Will write back later.. or whenever I'm in the mood..
God bless!
I wish I had gone out today. Catch a movie. Alone. Hehe. I have never done that in my entire 23 and a half yrs of living in this beautiful country. I love Malaysia. It's soooo beautiful!! So many things for foreigners to look forward to here.. and.. okay, let's get back to what I was saying.. yeah, I have never. Have u? I don't think I can watch a movie alone at the cinema, mind u.. if it were at home, yeah.. I've done that a million times! I can't. I would probably sit for.. let's say.. 10 mins.. and BYE! I don't know how the hell my bros can do that. I've told my frens.. a million times that I'm gonna give that a try.. yeah, maybe we'll get tickets of the same movie but different seats.. and u're all thinking.. "WTF?? That's pretty much like watching it with the whole gang!" ... I KNOW!!!! But I just can't see myself seating alone with a couple next to me.. both sides.. so weird! I'm not saying those who had watched a movie alone or the ones who have been doing that all this while are pathetic losers.. NO, sir.. u're not! I respect those lonerangers.. hehe.. I always giggle when I use that word.. lonerangers... khekhekhe...
Okay.. my dad wants to go eat mee goreng mamak now.. gotta teman him. Will write back later.. or whenever I'm in the mood..
God bless!
Another one and then I'll go to bed..
1 When you get upset, you:
lock myself up in my room, music full blast, cry or take a cold shower
2 If someone has taken interest in you at a party or other social gathering, you:
yeah ryte... someone's interested in me?! OH YEAH RYTE!!!
3 If you are arguing about an issue and know you are correct, you:
argue till the other party shuts up and get the hell out of my face! i hate ppl who wants to win an argument but have no idea on what they're arguing about! bodoh! if u know nothing.. just shut the hell up!
4 Your friends are usually:
everything i am not.. that would be.. fun, crazy, good-looking, awesome bunch!
5 When you wake up in the morning, you:
think of him.. hmmm.. is he awake? should i go back to sleep? hmm.. coffee.. yummyy..
6 When you are interested in someone, you:
go up to that someone and give him a passionate kiss! NOT! keep it to myself.. d-uh!
7 You are at the toilet when you overhear two of your friends talking about how horrible your new haircut is. You:
"I KNOW!!!!"
8 If your life were to be made into a movie -- and you were to star as yourself -- who would you cast to play your leading man/woman?:
hehehe... Azmir... no.. Brandon Boyd.. NO! Orlando Bloom!!.. no wait.. Hugh Jackman.. no no.. wait.. I DUNNO!!!! All of them?? Pleaseeeee??
9 How do you like your kisses to be?:
depends.. if it's from my bf... hehee.. my niece.. a smack on my lip! she's sooo cute!
10 When your lover leans in for a kiss in public, what do you do?:
hit him on the head! what the hell do u think?!? KISS HIM BACK! stupid Q!!
Aahh.. okay, now i'm really bored.. so gonna go read or watch tv.. or maybe just lock myself up in my room..
God bless and have a nice day!
lock myself up in my room, music full blast, cry or take a cold shower
2 If someone has taken interest in you at a party or other social gathering, you:
yeah ryte... someone's interested in me?! OH YEAH RYTE!!!
3 If you are arguing about an issue and know you are correct, you:
argue till the other party shuts up and get the hell out of my face! i hate ppl who wants to win an argument but have no idea on what they're arguing about! bodoh! if u know nothing.. just shut the hell up!
4 Your friends are usually:
everything i am not.. that would be.. fun, crazy, good-looking, awesome bunch!
5 When you wake up in the morning, you:
think of him.. hmmm.. is he awake? should i go back to sleep? hmm.. coffee.. yummyy..
6 When you are interested in someone, you:
go up to that someone and give him a passionate kiss! NOT! keep it to myself.. d-uh!
7 You are at the toilet when you overhear two of your friends talking about how horrible your new haircut is. You:
"I KNOW!!!!"
8 If your life were to be made into a movie -- and you were to star as yourself -- who would you cast to play your leading man/woman?:
hehehe... Azmir... no.. Brandon Boyd.. NO! Orlando Bloom!!.. no wait.. Hugh Jackman.. no no.. wait.. I DUNNO!!!! All of them?? Pleaseeeee??
9 How do you like your kisses to be?:
depends.. if it's from my bf... hehee.. my niece.. a smack on my lip! she's sooo cute!
10 When your lover leans in for a kiss in public, what do you do?:
hit him on the head! what the hell do u think?!? KISS HIM BACK! stupid Q!!
Aahh.. okay, now i'm really bored.. so gonna go read or watch tv.. or maybe just lock myself up in my room..
God bless and have a nice day!
I'm bored...
Name one person who comes to mind in each question
1. Always make you laugh.
Wafi
2. Always make you angry
Wafi
3. Always irritates of you
Wafi
4. Always be there for you
Azmir
5. Always buy present for you
Isma Edli
6. Always hangout with you
Wafi
7. Always smile at you
Wafi
8. Always pay for you
Hmmm.. my dad? Azmir? My bros? My mum?? ME?!?
9. Always drive you around
My bros! Azmir! Sorry had to break the rule!
10. Always ask homework question
When I was in skool... Linda
11. Always need your help
Nick!!! Hehehe...
12. Always make you wait
A lot of ppl!! Punctuality is the key, ppl!!
13. Always sleep in class
I can't remember.. it was ages ago..
14. Always cannot make up his/her mind
Hahaha... u know who u are....
15. Always late for class
Maz.. my bestfren in high skool
16. Never take a bus/train/aeroplane
Hmmm... I don't know any..
17. Has messy hair
Mokh
18. Untidy
Mokh
19. Someone you love?
*Sigh..*
20. Last but not the least... any idol?
Deanna Yusoff.. she's hot, she rawks!
1. Always make you laugh.
Wafi
2. Always make you angry
Wafi
3. Always irritates of you
Wafi
4. Always be there for you
Azmir
5. Always buy present for you
Isma Edli
6. Always hangout with you
Wafi
7. Always smile at you
Wafi
8. Always pay for you
Hmmm.. my dad? Azmir? My bros? My mum?? ME?!?
9. Always drive you around
My bros! Azmir! Sorry had to break the rule!
10. Always ask homework question
When I was in skool... Linda
11. Always need your help
Nick!!! Hehehe...
12. Always make you wait
A lot of ppl!! Punctuality is the key, ppl!!
13. Always sleep in class
I can't remember.. it was ages ago..
14. Always cannot make up his/her mind
Hahaha... u know who u are....
15. Always late for class
Maz.. my bestfren in high skool
16. Never take a bus/train/aeroplane
Hmmm... I don't know any..
17. Has messy hair
Mokh
18. Untidy
Mokh
19. Someone you love?
*Sigh..*
20. Last but not the least... any idol?
Deanna Yusoff.. she's hot, she rawks!
Monday, May 17, 2004
Hehe..
I kinda like that song.. F.U.R.B. - Frankee.. now.. Eamon wouldn't think she would hit him back with that song.. hehehehe.. u go gal!
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Just another Sunday
Didn't do anything much today. Went to check on the tenants at Setiawangsa. Came back and had dinner with my family. Having a splitting headache. I had mistakenly took my medicine with Coke. Damn, it was so funny. I was talking crap a couple of hours after that and later had a bad tummy ache. I swore I poured warm water to take with my medicine. You're probably thinking.. "Gee.. she's such an idiot!" but if u were in my situation (which is having a lot of things going on in my life at the moment), u wouldn't think so. Anyway, I hope this headache will go off soon! REAL SOON!
I met Nora online last nyte but I was not really in the mood to chat. I haven't had the mood lately. Go figure. I don't even have the mood to leave my room but if I don't, I won't get any work done and that means no income. I just applied for a job overseas. I'm not telling which company bcoz I'm so sure I'm gonna jinx it! Hopefully I will get the job so that I can get the hell out of here. It's not that I don't love my country, oh god I DO so MUCH but at this moment, I just want to be elsewhere. I just want to go somewhere where I know no one.
At a time like this, I wish he would call me. It would make me feel so much better to hear his voice but I know I'm the last person he wants to talk to. The last person he wants to see. He's moving on and I suppose I should to. I'm not gonna move on by meeting new guys.. no. I don't wanna do that. I'm not ready to date and I don't think I want to. Honestly speaking, I don't want to. He would still be my first choice to go watch a movie with, to have dinner or ice-cream.. bcoz he's a fun guy to be with altho he has this serious look on his face at all times but he's fun. I miss our bitching sessions. *Sigh*..
I have been following America's Next Top Model from season I to season II. The first season, I rooted for Adrienne and I just knew she'd be the one and what do u know.. she became ANTM. In season II, it was pretty hard for me bcoz I liked Sara, Jenascia, Yoanna and April. After watching the 4th episode, I came to like Yoanna the best and figured okay, this gal is gonna be the next ANTM. Oh my god!! I was SOOO ryte!!! I think I should be one of the judges. I have been writing down what I think of each contestants (sad I know..) and they're exactly what most of the judges said of them. I'm so happy that Yoanna won bcoz she is sooo hot and after all the negative things that was said of her, she proved to each and everyone of them that they're wrong and that one can achieve whatever one wants just as long as u put ur heart and soul into it. Way to go, gal! She's just so sweet and .. HOT! Oh and just a couple of days ago, I watched one of the episodes where Shandi cheated on her bf. Damn, that was sooo wrong but she's so lucky that after all that, her bf still wants her. Damn.. lucky woman!..
I can't wait for the next season of ANTM. By watching ANTM, it actually made me realise how one can be stressful by being a model. I'm soooo thankful that I'm doing a part-time job at it. If I were to be a full-time model, I don't think I could go thru the day! But if there is such contest here, I would go for it.. just for the fun of it.. u know, see how reality TV shows are really like.. hahah..
I met Nora online last nyte but I was not really in the mood to chat. I haven't had the mood lately. Go figure. I don't even have the mood to leave my room but if I don't, I won't get any work done and that means no income. I just applied for a job overseas. I'm not telling which company bcoz I'm so sure I'm gonna jinx it! Hopefully I will get the job so that I can get the hell out of here. It's not that I don't love my country, oh god I DO so MUCH but at this moment, I just want to be elsewhere. I just want to go somewhere where I know no one.
At a time like this, I wish he would call me. It would make me feel so much better to hear his voice but I know I'm the last person he wants to talk to. The last person he wants to see. He's moving on and I suppose I should to. I'm not gonna move on by meeting new guys.. no. I don't wanna do that. I'm not ready to date and I don't think I want to. Honestly speaking, I don't want to. He would still be my first choice to go watch a movie with, to have dinner or ice-cream.. bcoz he's a fun guy to be with altho he has this serious look on his face at all times but he's fun. I miss our bitching sessions. *Sigh*..
I have been following America's Next Top Model from season I to season II. The first season, I rooted for Adrienne and I just knew she'd be the one and what do u know.. she became ANTM. In season II, it was pretty hard for me bcoz I liked Sara, Jenascia, Yoanna and April. After watching the 4th episode, I came to like Yoanna the best and figured okay, this gal is gonna be the next ANTM. Oh my god!! I was SOOO ryte!!! I think I should be one of the judges. I have been writing down what I think of each contestants (sad I know..) and they're exactly what most of the judges said of them. I'm so happy that Yoanna won bcoz she is sooo hot and after all the negative things that was said of her, she proved to each and everyone of them that they're wrong and that one can achieve whatever one wants just as long as u put ur heart and soul into it. Way to go, gal! She's just so sweet and .. HOT! Oh and just a couple of days ago, I watched one of the episodes where Shandi cheated on her bf. Damn, that was sooo wrong but she's so lucky that after all that, her bf still wants her. Damn.. lucky woman!..
I can't wait for the next season of ANTM. By watching ANTM, it actually made me realise how one can be stressful by being a model. I'm soooo thankful that I'm doing a part-time job at it. If I were to be a full-time model, I don't think I could go thru the day! But if there is such contest here, I would go for it.. just for the fun of it.. u know, see how reality TV shows are really like.. hahah..
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Movies, movies and more movies!
So many new movies are out.. and I still haven't seen any of it! I miss watching movies.. at the cinema, I mean. Oh well.. I'll wait for the dvds..
If I Ain't Got You
Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby
Not that it means anything... ;).. I just like this song... and well, it may represent my feelings. Whatever.
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby
Not that it means anything... ;).. I just like this song... and well, it may represent my feelings. Whatever.
Another emotional day
I hate my days lately. I don't have the appetite to eat altho I am hungry. Everyone is forcing me to eat bcoz I have to take my medicine. F**k the medicine. It's not like I'm gonna die if I don't take it. I'll live, u know. D-uh!
I went out yesterday. First had to meet a client then I met Tina. I just had to get out of the house. Everything is just so weird at the moment. So, now she's thinking of the lilac gown instead of the cream coloured gown. I prefer the cream gown but then, it's not my wedding. She looks absolutely gorgeous in the cream gown but she prefers the lilac bcoz it doesn't make her look fat... hello, u're as thin as I am. What fat are u talking about? I told her to go home and think about it. Again. Yes, this is the second time she has decided to change her gown and I told her, look since the wedding is not till next year.. u have all the time to think about it. Just make sure u'll decide on one before it's too late. She has all the time, yeah but I don't want to dissapoint her by saying.. "Ooops, sorry.. ur wedding gown won't be ready till after ur wedding day". Get what I mean? No? Good.
So after that, met up with Tina. My my.. she has lost weight! She looks good. We were so bising. At least I got some stuff off my mind. Okay, I'm lying. It didn't but well, I dunno. Oh and she invited me to her fren's farewell dinner on Friday nyte. I still haven't decided on going. Should I? I don't know any of her frens. Not those ppl, at least. Well, I think I'd rather stay home and watch TV. Wow.. stay home on a Friday nyte.. sad huh? Well... believe it or not.. I'm used to it and it doesn't kill to stay home on a Friday nyte. Not for me, that is.. I dunno about other ppl and truth to be told, I don't care.
Nick called this morning. Thanks for waking me up, dude! Yeah, sorry for not replying. Been sick as u know and I just don't feel like writing much. I just needed some time alone. Glad to know that u're finally flying back home. If u can call Malaysia ur home.. hehe. We'll meet up soon, yah? Gimme a call as soon as u get ur white ass home.
Ryte at this moment, I'm feeling a bit sad. I just miss him, I guess. I know i know.. he doesn't care but let him be. I can't afford to think about other ppl anymore. If everyone can be selfish, so can I. Not that I want to be one. Selfishness is not in me but I think sometimes being selfish makes u happy. Maybe I should move on but maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'm just tired with everything. Yeah, that could be it. I'm so out of love. I don't want to be in love. I may sound dramatic but those who know me well, they know when I say black.. it's black. Love is a wonderful thing, no doubt in that but it is also painful. What in the world does it mean that if u're such a great gf but that person doesn't deserve u bcoz u're too good for him? I just don't get that. I thot everyone wants just that for them.. and here I am being left bcoz I'm the best gf ever. If that is the case, then I might as well just forget about falling in love. I've had enough. Enough pain to last me thruout my whole life. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me (which I haven't said this of my ex-bfs) and he is irreplaceable. He may have found someone else... maybe not but if he does, that's his life. As for me, I don't want to. I'm just out of love.
He's the sweetest guy, the most intelligent and such a good-hearted person. He's just amazing and I want him to be happy. It if means happiness to him to have someone better than I am, so be it. I may not be able to swallow it but it's his life. As always, as before.. I just have to love him from afar...
I went out yesterday. First had to meet a client then I met Tina. I just had to get out of the house. Everything is just so weird at the moment. So, now she's thinking of the lilac gown instead of the cream coloured gown. I prefer the cream gown but then, it's not my wedding. She looks absolutely gorgeous in the cream gown but she prefers the lilac bcoz it doesn't make her look fat... hello, u're as thin as I am. What fat are u talking about? I told her to go home and think about it. Again. Yes, this is the second time she has decided to change her gown and I told her, look since the wedding is not till next year.. u have all the time to think about it. Just make sure u'll decide on one before it's too late. She has all the time, yeah but I don't want to dissapoint her by saying.. "Ooops, sorry.. ur wedding gown won't be ready till after ur wedding day". Get what I mean? No? Good.
So after that, met up with Tina. My my.. she has lost weight! She looks good. We were so bising. At least I got some stuff off my mind. Okay, I'm lying. It didn't but well, I dunno. Oh and she invited me to her fren's farewell dinner on Friday nyte. I still haven't decided on going. Should I? I don't know any of her frens. Not those ppl, at least. Well, I think I'd rather stay home and watch TV. Wow.. stay home on a Friday nyte.. sad huh? Well... believe it or not.. I'm used to it and it doesn't kill to stay home on a Friday nyte. Not for me, that is.. I dunno about other ppl and truth to be told, I don't care.
Nick called this morning. Thanks for waking me up, dude! Yeah, sorry for not replying. Been sick as u know and I just don't feel like writing much. I just needed some time alone. Glad to know that u're finally flying back home. If u can call Malaysia ur home.. hehe. We'll meet up soon, yah? Gimme a call as soon as u get ur white ass home.
Ryte at this moment, I'm feeling a bit sad. I just miss him, I guess. I know i know.. he doesn't care but let him be. I can't afford to think about other ppl anymore. If everyone can be selfish, so can I. Not that I want to be one. Selfishness is not in me but I think sometimes being selfish makes u happy. Maybe I should move on but maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'm just tired with everything. Yeah, that could be it. I'm so out of love. I don't want to be in love. I may sound dramatic but those who know me well, they know when I say black.. it's black. Love is a wonderful thing, no doubt in that but it is also painful. What in the world does it mean that if u're such a great gf but that person doesn't deserve u bcoz u're too good for him? I just don't get that. I thot everyone wants just that for them.. and here I am being left bcoz I'm the best gf ever. If that is the case, then I might as well just forget about falling in love. I've had enough. Enough pain to last me thruout my whole life. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me (which I haven't said this of my ex-bfs) and he is irreplaceable. He may have found someone else... maybe not but if he does, that's his life. As for me, I don't want to. I'm just out of love.
He's the sweetest guy, the most intelligent and such a good-hearted person. He's just amazing and I want him to be happy. It if means happiness to him to have someone better than I am, so be it. I may not be able to swallow it but it's his life. As always, as before.. I just have to love him from afar...
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Feeling much better..
My flu is gone. Not fully gone but gone. Hehe. I'm feeling much better today. Thanks to my frens. He sms-ed me yesterday evening. It was nothing much but I felt better in a way when I received the sms.
When u go abroad to futher ur studies.. u realise that there are bigger opportunities out there for u. What u have, doesn't seem to be enough. U know u can get something much better. I guess that's what he's going thru. I'm not all that (altho he said I am) so I'm pretty sure he'd want someone better. I think I can go thru this. It will take me some time... but I will heal. Maybe I won't. Who knows. I just hope he's happy with his decision. I respect what he wants. I can't force him, can I? I was never in his league anyway. He's above me. I'm just not his type after all, I guess. Hope all's well on ur side, greekGod.
When u go abroad to futher ur studies.. u realise that there are bigger opportunities out there for u. What u have, doesn't seem to be enough. U know u can get something much better. I guess that's what he's going thru. I'm not all that (altho he said I am) so I'm pretty sure he'd want someone better. I think I can go thru this. It will take me some time... but I will heal. Maybe I won't. Who knows. I just hope he's happy with his decision. I respect what he wants. I can't force him, can I? I was never in his league anyway. He's above me. I'm just not his type after all, I guess. Hope all's well on ur side, greekGod.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Sick as a dog
I'm so sick. I'm so tired. I hope I'll get better soon. I don't think I'll be blogging for the next few days. Even if I feel much better tomorrow, I don't feel like blogging for now. We'll see.
He hasn't messaged since yesterday. I guess he's busy. I hope nothing's wrong with him. He's probably busy messaging other gals. Yeah. That must be it. Hope all's well on his side. I think it is. He got bored... so he must be okay.
He hasn't messaged since yesterday. I guess he's busy. I hope nothing's wrong with him. He's probably busy messaging other gals. Yeah. That must be it. Hope all's well on his side. I think it is. He got bored... so he must be okay.
Monday, May 10, 2004
Make Me Whole
I didn't do anything today. Woke up at about 11 and watched tv. Nothing was on so I went into my room and stayed in there the whole day. I don't know how I feel at this moment. Am I angry? Am I sad? Yes. I feel like whatever it is that I do in life, is never enough for anyone else that matters to me. I'm such a failure in every sense. In my family, in my r/ship.. everything and yet, he said I'm the best ever. If that is the case, then why leave? I can't talk to anyone about this bcoz everyone thinks I've got it. I've got everything figured out but the matter of the fact is that I have not. I don't even know what to do next. I don't even want to do anything. I'm sick and tired. I don't think I can ever feel the same way for anyone else and I don't think I ever want to. I'm not mad at anyone, especially him. I can't force him but I just don't understand what's going on. I really don't. I'm so messed up ryte now I don't even know what I'm writing, I don't even think any of this makes sense.
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Friday, May 07, 2004
Indecisive
I didn't sleep well last nyte. Most of the time, I was tossing and turning. My niece woke me up at 10am. Banging on my door and calling out my name. It's so nice to have her wake me up in the morning. As I have much expected, the only reason why she wanted to come into my room was to play with my Stitch. Cuddle up with it and me. She's so adorable and I can't wait for to start talking in full sentences. She just lost one of her grandpa and it has left me with awed with the way she's taking it. She's much too young to understand but from her facial expressions, I know she feels the loss. She sat quietly at one corner last nyte, as if she's thinking about her late grandfather and when her mum came home (my sister-in-law), my niece went up to her, hugged and was comforting her mother. She's only 1 yr 10 months. So cute!
I had no appointments today. Wished I had made some for today. Am bored to death. Too messed-up to go out. I'm just having this mixed feelings inside of me at the moment. There's so much to do but so little time or maybe I'm just lazy. I know I should start doing some of the work that I have put off since last week (which is not in a hurry anyway) but I'm just too... lazy. I'm not a lazy-bum but I'm just not in the ryte mood. Yeah, that is it. I'm not in the mood. What I'm in the mood for is sushi! Sad thing is, no one to go to have some with. Everybody's at work. Tisha has started her new job at Astro. Haven't been talking to her for almost 3 weeks now. Irina is at work and she only finishes at 10pm and by that time, sushi place would be closed. Maybe I should get my bro to take me. My bf? Well, he's pretty busy at the moment...
Ezy hasn't called since he left for Dubai. I hope he's doing well. I have so many things on my mind that I have been wanting to post on the blog but there's just too many and maybe one day, when I'm in the ryte mind and mood, I'll post them. It's my everyday thots of the way other ppl living their lives. I realised that there is a lot of ppl out there who couldn't care less about other ppl. Some of them as young as 12 yrs old! I guess that's bcoz their parents are not bringing them up that well.. huh? I dunno.. I could be wrong. Anyway, it's lunch time and I think I better get going.
I had no appointments today. Wished I had made some for today. Am bored to death. Too messed-up to go out. I'm just having this mixed feelings inside of me at the moment. There's so much to do but so little time or maybe I'm just lazy. I know I should start doing some of the work that I have put off since last week (which is not in a hurry anyway) but I'm just too... lazy. I'm not a lazy-bum but I'm just not in the ryte mood. Yeah, that is it. I'm not in the mood. What I'm in the mood for is sushi! Sad thing is, no one to go to have some with. Everybody's at work. Tisha has started her new job at Astro. Haven't been talking to her for almost 3 weeks now. Irina is at work and she only finishes at 10pm and by that time, sushi place would be closed. Maybe I should get my bro to take me. My bf? Well, he's pretty busy at the moment...
Ezy hasn't called since he left for Dubai. I hope he's doing well. I have so many things on my mind that I have been wanting to post on the blog but there's just too many and maybe one day, when I'm in the ryte mind and mood, I'll post them. It's my everyday thots of the way other ppl living their lives. I realised that there is a lot of ppl out there who couldn't care less about other ppl. Some of them as young as 12 yrs old! I guess that's bcoz their parents are not bringing them up that well.. huh? I dunno.. I could be wrong. Anyway, it's lunch time and I think I better get going.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
What is it?
Are u appreciative of me? Am I doing a good job here? Why is it so hard for u to talk to me? U want me to talk to u if there is anything wrong but u don't do the same? Why is that? Am I not worth ur time?
I haven't been blogging bcoz of the stupid server. Not blogger.com... my area.. the server was down for days! Nothing much happened for the last few days. Except today, my bro's father-in-law passed away. Other than that.... life's been pretty.. shitty. Yeap.
I have to go now. Gonna do some reading...
I haven't been blogging bcoz of the stupid server. Not blogger.com... my area.. the server was down for days! Nothing much happened for the last few days. Except today, my bro's father-in-law passed away. Other than that.... life's been pretty.. shitty. Yeap.
I have to go now. Gonna do some reading...
