Undecided

I didn't sleep till about 5am. I couldn't sleep. Tried but failed. So what did I do? I ended up thinking about him and cried myself to sleep. I'm so emotional and I sooo hate that! I miss everything about him and what's bugging me is that I know he doesn't. I don't actually know that but from the looks of it, he doesn't give a shit anymore about me. Me? Well, me being me.. I still care. Why? Don't ask. That's just me. Maybe the fact that he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yeah, that's it. I'm so mad ryte now. At him. Mostly at myself for being so weak. I'm totally fine with his decision but I'm not used to not having him around. I have to get use to that but geez, it's so fucking frustrating. Arrgghh! I don't swear but I just.. arrghh!! F***!!!!

I've been thinking about what I'm going to do.. I have not come to a decision yet bcoz I'm still weighing the pros and cons of it. 'It' being whether should I stay or should I go. I wish there is an easy way out of life... but then, if there is.. life wouldn't be much of a challenge, would it?