Coping

As I sat watching you on the bed,
A million thoughts ran through my head.
Of just how much were you aware...
Did you know that we were there?

Could you feel the love I sent,
In whispered words or the prayers we sent?
To spare your life for my selfish cause?

So that I could tell you just once more,
"I love you, Mummy! " as I had before - so many times,
And we could chat like days of old,
Over coffee cups all rimmed with gold.

And laugh and joke, or just to share
some small hurt and perhaps a tear.
To talk of the past, or things yet to do.
To sniffle, and sneeze, and say "Alhamdulillah! "

All these dreams now hang in shreds,
As I sit here with bowed down head.
And ponder on these sad thoughts...
Of how I would not have you in my life as it was.

Mummy,

I miss you sooo much, mum. I think of you day and night. We pray for you day and night for we know in Islam, there are three things that you take with you when you passed on and one of it is prayers from your loved ones.

I wish I could just talk to you right now as I am having a hard time. I know I shouldn't be mad but it's just not fair that you are not here right now... I need you badly, mummy....