Make Me Whole

I didn't do anything today. Woke up at about 11 and watched tv. Nothing was on so I went into my room and stayed in there the whole day. I don't know how I feel at this moment. Am I angry? Am I sad? Yes. I feel like whatever it is that I do in life, is never enough for anyone else that matters to me. I'm such a failure in every sense. In my family, in my r/ship.. everything and yet, he said I'm the best ever. If that is the case, then why leave? I can't talk to anyone about this bcoz everyone thinks I've got it. I've got everything figured out but the matter of the fact is that I have not. I don't even know what to do next. I don't even want to do anything. I'm sick and tired. I don't think I can ever feel the same way for anyone else and I don't think I ever want to. I'm not mad at anyone, especially him. I can't force him but I just don't understand what's going on. I really don't. I'm so messed up ryte now I don't even know what I'm writing, I don't even think any of this makes sense.