Love kind

The first stage is to believe that there is only one kind of love. The middle stage is to believe that there are many kinds of love and that the Greeks had a different word for each of them. The last stage is to believe is there is only one kind of love. The unabashed "eros" of lovers, the symphathetic "philia" of friends, agape giving itself away freely no less for the murderer than for his victim (the King James Version translates it as charity) - these are all varied manifestations of a single reality. To lose yourself in another's arms, or in another's company, or in suffering for all who suffer, including the ones who inflict suffering upon you- to lose yourself in such ways is to find yourself. Is what it's all about. Is what love is. Of all powers, love is the most powerful and most powerless... It is the most powerful because it alone can conquer that final and most impregnable stronghold which is the human heart... It is the most powerless because it can do nothing except by consent.

And Ezy has left the building.. well.. actually Malaysia..

So i went to see my bro, Ezy at the airport. All of us, that would be me, Eddie, my eldest bro and El, the youngest of the boys. Still older than I am. Damn it. Wish I was the older one but well, I think it's good enough being the youngest and the only girl in the family. And no, I am not spoiled. I used to get things to go my way. Yeah, notice that i used the term.. 'used'? So, I'm no longer spoiled! Anyhoowee, we had a great laugh at Burger King, KLIA. It was so good to sit and talk about work and well, we mostly bitched about other ppl. Hehe.. not very nice are we? Hmmm.. come on, who doesn't bitch? U don't? Really? Maan... u're soooo good.. such an angel.. =P

Ezy is only going off for a month. He'll be back on the 27th May and will be going back to Dubai for good. That's when I think I'll cry buckets and pails. Wait.. is it pale or pail? Bail? No? Nope.. it's pail. I think. Oh well, I have a dictionary somewhere but too lazy to get my ass up. LOL. Such a lazy bitch sometimes but who cares.. coz I don't! Khalil, I did try to cry... hehe. Takde lah. Tak nangis pun. Like I said, maybe when we send him off again in May. I might probably get Amir to come with me. Hehe.. so that I can wet his shirt... gosh, that sound soo wrong.

We took pictures.. yeah, hehe.. it's so weird. We don't take pictures of all of us together often. In fact, the last time we did was maybe back in the 80s. All four of us.. yeap.. somewhere during the times when I was their pain in the ass! Still am. ;). Always will be. After I saw the photos (which we took using Eddie's phone), I felt kinda sad. Wish I had more photos of us. I think the best moments are always captured in the form of a picture and without us realising that is one of the best moments until we see the photo. I'm very close to my bros. They're afterall, my flesh and blood but I don't think I'm as close to Ezy as I am to my other 2 bros and it saddens me that I'm not. I wish I could turn back the time and make my r/ship with him better. We do talk... about almost everything. But I don't think he loves me as much as Eddie does. Or El. The thing is, I don't think I love him as much as I do both of them. I love Ezy, no doubt there but I wish I could love him more. He's a great person. He's one of the ppl I look up to. With him being away, maybe I will get the chance to think of a way to get closer to him. Who knows, when he comes back.. I'll be the first he'd call (okay, I know for sure that's not gonna happen!! hehe..). Anyway, I'm happy that he's happy. He looked excited and happy to start his new life in Dubai. I wish him all the best and I know.. if he ever need a listening ear.. I'll always be around for him.. any day.. any time.

Abg Ezy, I may not have told u this.. but I love u, bro and I'm proud to have u as my bro and wouldn't trade anyone for u. Maybe if Brandon Boyd.. okay, let's not go there...

Giggle? Google? Gurgle? Shut up!

I am now in charge of organising an event in Sept. It's an annual dinner cum fund-raising event of St. Johns PIBG. Excited! Not because it's an all-boys school but my friends will be performing for the event. Hehe.. well, will only know the answer tomorrow but so far, the manager said he's okay with it and they're willing to perform for free since it's all about fund-raising. I love doing charity work. I don't know about anyone else but I feel so good after doing some. Good because I get to see smiling faces of those ppl I'm helping and u feel all warm fuzzy-wuzzy inside. Sigh. Wish I could do it more often!

Had a couple more meetings after the one in St. Johns. Eddie and I were still full from our breakfast so we had Cinnabon for lunch. I had the chocolate cinnabon... OMG, it tasted sssssoooooooooo good. All the time! Yummy! KLCC had a fashion show goin on while I was there.. some local designers parading their clothes. Must be because of the Fashion Fair.. Week.. whatever. I used to know all about the fashion events but lately, I just don't bother... hehe. I had watch the fashion show just now coz my fren asked me to. It's her first runway.. of sort.. so just giving her my support. She did well. It turned out good and gal, if u're reading this, I'm proud of u! Let me know if u have more. Will be glad to give u all of my support!

Btw, I checked my nedstats and I'm curious of something... my page is always being viewed by someone using Maxis Comm.. and I'm just wondering who he/she is... I mean, it's like everyday... and sometimes more than once... just would like to say thanks.. for taking the time to read my thots.. which is basically nonsense.. ehehe... well, thanks again. Feel free to visit more often... hehe.

Tiring day!

I'm not gonna write a long one today. Reason being, I am so tired! Brought my niece, Wafi to update her photos at the talents agencies.. and she was a bit cranky.. just woke up and stuff. Anyway, had a nice surprise.. bumped into my long-lost petbro, Syed Khalil. Hehe.. so good-looking now. So grown up!

After that, I hung out at Amir's. Played PS2. Had a pretty restless day earlier.. but turned out alryte later. I think I better get some sleep. Goin to KLIA later at about 2am to send off my bro. Will write more tomorrow...

It's amazing how bored one can be...

Yeap, i'm bored. To death! I don't have anything to do at all. My bf's at home playing PS2 and will everyone please stop asking whether I'm seeing him or not today. My bro, sis-in-law and niece dropped by today. Yippee! I just remembered I have to update her photos at the talent agencies. Will probably bring her tomorrow.

I can't believe my bro bought a new cellphone. My dream cellphone. The Nokia 6600. *Screams*. I love that phone. Don't care what all of u think of that phone but I love it! It just feels so right when I hold it in my hand. Darn it! Not gonna get the same phone now. Oh well, when I have the money, I'd probably get the Nokia 7200. Suhh-wweeeettt!

Okay, now back to my boredom. Have u ever felt so bored that u wanna commit suicide? No, not me. Just asking if u have ever felt that way. Owh man. Bored. Yeah. Ain't got a thing to do. I'm thinking maybe I should re-deco my room but when u're bored, u're just too lazy to do anything. Unless if someone asks me out. I'm thinking; maybe I should call up my frens and go out.. but wait, I ain't got no frens. Well, I do but I'm just not in the mood to hang out with that bunch. Why? Coz all we'll be talking about is guys, guys and guys. Tired of that. Yeah. Really.

I wonder where the hell Nick is. He hasn't called. No emails. Am supposed to meet up this week but as usual.. he has gone missing. Yeah, I should have gotten used to it but this is just not Nick.. he would have at least said something about going off somewhere or something. Maybe I should ask Amir if Nick emailed him or something.

I've been receiving a lot of messages in MySpace from a bunch of different guys. It is the typical perverted messages. What's up with males and their hormones? Just because u see a gal's picture lying on her freaking bed does not mean she wants to get laid. How small is ur brain for u to actually think that that is what a gal wants? If u really want a fcuk, go get a whore. Another sad thing about this networking thing is that, ppl actually add u just for the sake of having a list of frens in their space. How sad can one person be? That's so pathetic. I don't add ppl unless I really want to get to know them. Honestly speaking, I only add gals because they're decent and even if they're horny, they write it in a way that would actually make me want to add them. Some gals may like the way some guys write.. but a lot of gals I know, prefer to get to know those that have something intelligent to say. Have a decent conversation on everything. A lot of gals act like they're a bunch of brainless bimbos, but they aren't. So, we may have a typical bimbo-ish profile but ask us anything intelligent, we'll blow ur mind away.

Oh yeah, someone emailed me saying that he got my email add from my blog and he asked me this:
"would u want to have anal sex?" What kind of a stupid question is that? It meant to be oneway, dude, if you don't like nothing near urs, don't ask the girl to take the pain for ur pleasure. And why in the hell would I want to have anal sex with u when I don't bloody know u?? See, somehow this kind ppl never fail to amaze me. Do guys always think with their small head instead of the big one? A guyfren of mine asked me once, why is it that whenever guys look at u when u're at a club, u pay no attention? Wanna know why? Simply because I'm not interested. Even if I did make an eye-contact, that does not mean u're my type. It could be I'm just playing. Well.. as the saying goes.. don't hate the player, hate the game.

A poem

Death, disease, famine
homelessness, abuse
I can't even watch the 8 o'clock news
When did we lose control
and how do we rebel
Take a look around
we're on a rocket ship to hell
There could be an answer
it may not be too late
but it involves a transfer
try love instead of hate
All you can do
is be good to people
and hope that those people
will be good to you too
but good luck
I doubt it!

Intimate insights

Hehe.. yeah ryte, like I'm gonna tell u the intimate stuff. What I'm gonna tell is that my bf, Amir is back! Finally! Not for good but at least, he'll be here for 4 months! Woohoo!! Can't wait to spend more time with him. Gotta catch up on the movies and food!! Damn.. he looks soo good. Yeah yeah, he's my bf and of course he's good-looking but honestly, if he isn't mine, I would still think so and have done anything to get his attention.. hehehe. Okay okay.. goin psycho here.

So, my bro is leaving today for Dubai. Actually he's off to his wife's hometown that is in Sarawak and will be leaving for Dubai from there. I don't think I get to see him before he goes off. It's almost 12noon and he's not here and hasn't called.. so yeah, don't think I'll see him. Am gonna miss him terribly. I don't wanna think too much about this because I don't wanna end up crying. It's hard enough to see my mum and my 3rd bro coping with this news. I don't want to think about not seeing him again because I am sure we will see him again.. soon (somehow, that doesn't sound too convincing!). I wish him all the best and hope he'll be happy with his decision (I know his wife is!! =P).

A crazy week!

I haven't been blogging due to some unforeseen circumstnaces. The TNB power house in my area was down so I couldn't go online. Couldn't do my research on some stuff and was really pissed. Now, everything is back to normal.

Okay, it has been a crazy week because my dad is not speaking to me. yeap, had an argument and he hasn't spoken to me since Monday. I give up. Yes, he's my dad.. I should respect him but in order for me to do so, I have to give up. Really. Ask my mum. She's the one who asked me to just go do my own stuff and wait till he starts talking to me again. So, that's what I have been doing. I'm so excited!! My bf, Amir is coming back on Monday and that is TOMORROW!!!! LOL. I sooo can't wait to see him. See how I can talk about 2 different subjects at one time.. yeah, that's me.

Anyway, went to watch Super Sapiens (HellBoy) with Amir's bro, Azhar, my 2 bros and my sis-in-law. The story.. is CRAP! I may not have read the comic but it's enough for me to say that the movie was a total flop! I mean.. what's with the ending? And the CGI?? OMG! I think whoever is studying CGI ryte now can do a much better outcome. X-Men is excellent. Really. Super Sapiens.. not at all. And again, that's my opinion. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on anything and everything.. ryte? Ryte!!

Next, my bro, Ezy came over the other day to let us know that he just got a new job. Better pay and a higher position. Good news? Great news. That was great news till he told us that he'd be transferring to Dubai for the job! Dubai! How long will he be there? He's not sure. If he likes the way things go.. he'd probably be there.. FOREVER! Dubai! That's not anywhere near my house! I can't drive up to there, I have to take a bloody plane if I wanna have a talk with him. Not that I talk to him if I have something on my mind but he's my brother.. and I'm losing one because he's transferring to Dubai! I know if I ever need to talk to him, I can always meet up with him.. but now, if I do need to talk to Ezy.. how am I gonna do that? Sad thing is, I haven't shed a tear about his moving to Dubai. It's not that I don't love him, I love my brothers, all 3 of them (altho I don't tell that to their face.. :P) but I just can't seem to cry about it. What's wrong with me? I cried thinking about my bf in Canada and my bro.. MY BRO leaving us for Dubai.. and I did not cry.. nil! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?? Sigh. I think I'd cry when I send him off to the airport. Owh man.. I won't get to see my niece grow up. I won't get to play with her, read her storybooks.. mann... I don't care about his wife.. but their daughter is my niece.. and she is my bro's anak. Owh mann... I'm sooo gonna miss Ezy. Sigh...

Yesterday, I had a manicure at Kuku Bar. Went with Nina. Hehe.. nicceeee. Lovely! Wish I could do that often. Anyway, was supposes to meet up with Dezmark but something came up. Nina and I had lunch at Alexis, Bangsar. The cakes looked soooo yummy but I couldn't have any coz I was so full after I finished up my lasagne. Nina complaint saying that I never finish up my food.. I do so!! Just that, hehe.. I didn't have much appetite lately. Ryte now, I'm having loads of butterflies in my stomach. Hahaha. I'm excited about meeting Amir and am nervous at the same time. Lalala.. I think I better go do something. Maybe work out or something. Hehe.

Later...

BIG fish!

I watched BIG FISH a couple of days ago, it was a very interesting movie. I'm not gonna review the movie, just how i felt after watching it. I was fascinated at how Edward Bloom told his stories. How someone tells a tall tale. An event that happened in his life could have been told in a straight boring manner but instead he translated it into a fascinating and exciting event. The way it is told, it made me want to be in his situation! Which I somehow thot it could be true afterall but of coz it was all a fantasy.

The relationship between Edward Bloom and his son, which I forgot his name in the movie (played by Billy Crudup, who is btw SO HOT!) reminded me of a book I read; Man & Boy by Tony Parsons. A brilliant book. Should read it, ppl. Man & Wife is just as good.

Big Fish to me is excellent. Of course having played by 2 gorgeous men really helped but the storyline itself is amazing. It is very detailed. The graphics, i mean. If you really watch it, it's actually a simple story but I don't know, there's just something about it that makes it an unforgettable movie. Must be becoz of Ewan and Billy.. ;)

Enough already

Will u please stop hurting me? Really. Just go on with ur life. U have all the frens u need. Including mine. U should be happy by now. U left me with none. So, go ahead and get the hell out of my life. Stop telling ppl that I bitched about them, when the actual fact is that u're the one who is bitching about everyone and being a big fcuked up hypocrite. I'm tired of all this. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of expalining and I'm sick and tired of ur digusting behaviour. Just get the hell on, aight? Leave me be...

Early morning

My associate called me up at 8 in the freakin morning. I slept pretty late the nyte before because of work and I really need the sleep as I have an important appointment today. Sigh.. a gal can never have her beauty sleep in peace!

Diana called me from States yesterday morning. It was good to finally catch up on stuff. Too bad we don't get to have coffee since u've migrated there! Come back here... tell ur hubby it's much better to stay in Malaysia. ;)

I think I'm gonna take a nap.. leave my paperwork on the desk and get back to it later. Hehe.

Bite Me!!

I received the most ridiculous call this morning. A gal called me up at 6 in the freaking morning and screamed nuts at me for going out with her bf. Excuse me? First of all, I was at Sports Unlimited in the afternoon. Went shopping later. Alone. Went back and slept. Secondly, even if I did go out with him, he's not UR bf. Lastly, I have my own bf to go out with. Altho at the moment he's in Canada, I would rather much be spending time with my gfs. So, after all the explainations (which I seriously don't owe her any but she insisted that I tell her EVERY DETAIL), I thot I can get back to my sleep... but noooo, again she said "Bitch! U went out with him and watched a movie with him yesterday and u're denying it!! So typical of a bitch like u!".. hmm.. which part of 'I wasn't with him' don't u f***ing understand? Are u that stupid?? Such a retard. For heaven's sakes, u didn't even tell me ur name. Why? Coz u're not so sure that I'm the gal, ryte? Or are u just plain scared? He's single. He's not seeing anyone.. not even u! He doesn't want a relationship, get it? He's just using u. I know him very well. U should be calling him for an explaination, not me. U're older than I am but god, u think like a 17 yr-old gal. He's younger than u are, for crying out loud! Go get someone ur own age! If u can't face the fact that he just wants to have fun, then I'm sorry but u should really move on and u should know better than to date a guy that young. I don't call him. He calls me so if u don't like that, tough! I don't give a shit about how u feel. Did u think about how I would feel to receive a f***ed up phone call early in the morning? No, ryte? So, why should I give two hoots about how u feel after all the nasty things I said? I don't owe u anything, lady. Nil. He f***ed u up, not me. So go call him. Don't call every single female name/number u found in his cell. I'm sorry if u feel threatened or watever shit u just told me.. no, I'm not sorry.. I don't care actually. I really don't. As a matter of fact, I am actually starting to enjoy this sort of attention. I usually get attention from guys, it would be nice to get this sort of attention every now and then. I should really get used to this coz I am very sure this would not be the last time. I bet u, I'll get this sort of calls often... yeah, and I can't wait. It felt good to swear and it's so sad to see a 28 above ladies going nuts over a 22 yr-old guy. I'm actually enjoying this. Call me a bitch.. call me whatever u want.. I don't care. He calls me.. I don't call him. Oh and before u call anyone else, make sure u know wat to say. Gal, u stutter... do something about it.

Not good...

This feeling I'm having ryte now.. it's not good. Not good at all. Why do I have to feel this way?? I'm 23... actually age would 20.8 but yeah, well.. it's not me. I'm not suppose to feel this way. It's weird.. really!

Another day out

I went out with Tisha yesterday to.. where else.. OU. Had waffles and ice-cream. AAhh.. can't get enough of chocolate overload. Had a great time. I should go out with my gfs more often.. hehehe.

Amir called me this morning. Just spoke to him a few days before that but somehow felt like I haven't spoken to him for ages. He'll be back in 9 days.. yeap yeap.. 9 whole days more to go!

I got my comment thingy to work now.. and well, i still can't figure out on how to change the bloody colour of the font and the size. Went thru the settings and all, anyway, if any of u know anything on the 'how-to', pls drop me a line.. thanks.

I think I better get goin now. Getting too many messages and I can't concentrate! Later..

Happiness

I personally discovered that happiness is within our reach if we strive for it. Nothing comes easily in life. As a matter a fact, money can’t buy happiness. We all need to put in some effort and learn to appreciate life. We should be content with what we have. Bear in mind that nobody is perfect; neither is the world. We should therefore learn to accept our limitations, accept ourselves the way we are and go on living life to the fullest. There is more that we can do instead of wasting precious time coping with negativity. By learning to utilize our time in the best way we know, we can do something more meaningful – contribute a little more to society. There is no point hanging on to the past if it brings us agony and suffering. Life has so much more to offer. Learn to let go when it is time to move on. There is always a way; it’s whether we have the will and determination to go for it. But in order to achieve our goals, we have to make sure we take care of our well-being, be health conscious and physically and mentally sound. Happiness comes with a healthy body, mind and soul. We have to work towards happiness instead of waiting for happiness to come to us.

I'm giving up...

Okay.. so now, the comment codes are working.. and now, i'm trying to figure out on how to make it even and look nice.. on my blog.. arrghh!! On the verge of tearing my hair out!!

It's all about you, innit?

A very unproductive day. Wished it had been. I just read a guy's journal just now and what he wrote inspired me in so many ways. He wrote something about being a family. He said a family doesn't always consist of ur blood relatives... something to that effect but family could be the ppl u're very close to.. such as ur frens.. who have been there with u thru thick and thin... everytime u fall down, they're there to pick u up and tell u that things are goin to be alryte eventho u know for a fact, at times that, they won't be alryte. I admire ppl that have that sort of frens. I never have gotten the opportunity to have someone that would go thru a mile, even more for me. It's always the other way around. No, i'm not saying that i want something in return for every lil thing i do becoz i'm not like that but it would be nice to have or at least to know that someone out there would do the same for me. Some ppl, they do things in order to get something in return which to me, is just so wrong. If that's what u want.. then don't do it at all. Really. I had a lot of good frens that are now, some what strangers to me. Just bcoz i didn't have the time to hang out, they dissed me. Look, u may have all the free time in the world not just bcoz ur parents are paying for ur outings but bcoz u're just so free to go out every now and then and whatnot but for some ppl, like me.. working ppl, we don't have the time. Even if we do, honestly speaking, i'd rather spend time with my family bcoz i don't seem to have the time to do so lately. And u know wat, if it's bcoz of my not sharing or spending time with u that is pissing u off, then be it. I don't care anymore bcoz it has always been about u and well, i guess as a fren of mine, u aren't as understanding as i thot u were. This is not for a particular person.. its just my thots and how i'm feeling ryte now. Oh well.. dont think i can write anymore... maybe later...

A day out...

Yesterday, I planned to go out with Tisha. We did. Instead of just Tisha and I, we were joined by her sis, Nisha and hubby, Crin. Later, Dez joined us. I had fun. Although I was hoping it was just Tisha and I bcoz we had a lot of catching up to do but it was fun anyway. I haven't laughed like yesterday for such a long time. In fact, I didn't know they were so cool to hang out with.. hahaha.. if Tisha is reading this, she's goin to kill me!! Oh well, Tisha, I know u love me! Hahaha.

So, we met at OU around 2.30pm. Okay, ppl usually have the main course first or meal and after that the desserts, ryte? Yeah, well in the case of my frens and I, we had desserts first. Weird. Aahh.. chocolate cinnabon has never tasted sooo good! I must have been so hungry. Anyway, we didn't do anything much. A lot talking tho.. everything about us when we were in SSP. It was hilarious.. the things we do at the age of 11.. 12.. geez. Gals back then, whom I thot marriage was the last thing on their mind, are now, MARRIED! I can't believe she's married. This gal, I'm talking about.. well, she's a bitch. She called me one.. hmm.. it takes one to know one, ryte, Nish? Nish, Tish and I, we hated those bunch. Imagine at the age of 12, they think the world belongs to them. I think even now, they seem to think that way. Sad, bcoz it sure isn't theirs alone. Anyway, they're not worth the space of my blog, so after Nisha and Crin left for home (they just arrived from Aust so they were tired), Dez, Tisha and I decided to have something to eat. We ate at News-something, i ate there about 3 times already and yet, I never seem to remember the name of the cafe. Did more talking.. hmm.. bananaberry.. hahaha.. a stupid secret joke between Tish, Dez and I. God! The supervisor is not into me, Tish! Will u and Dez just stop about that the next time we go out! He freaks me out.. REALLY! He was just being nice. Kesian dia.. got the wrong info. At about 7-ish, Tisha went home and I didn't really wanna leave yet, so Dez and I decided to go somewhere we can talk so he chose Gelare. We had waffles, Tish.. I promise u, next time I'll bring u there. I forgot all about it. Sigh.. we had a good talk.. he is full of surprises, that Dez. There are so many things about him that I thot I have known enough, apparently not. He's a good fren. I think the only guy fren (besides my greekGod) that is always there for me, willing to listen to everything I have to say without wanting or expecting anything in return. He's a cool dude. We had to leave at 9-ish coz he had to get some stuff for his parents and later, sent me home. Over all, it was a great day for me. I wish Amir was around with us.

Being with them yesterday, had me thinking about my frens before this. I had fun with them but it's just diff with Tisha and gang. With them, it's like we're uncontrolable yet behaved. I don't know if that makes any sense but it does to me. Some ppl think it's so cool to let out.. just be yourself in public but I don't know.. to me, that's just wrong. U gotta know when to loose urself and when to behave. In public, well for me, I have to behave becoz my father's frens are everywhere. I don't want words to get to my parents that their daughter is out of control or is misbehaving in public. I guess that is why, some of my frens have decided to ditch me. I can't be someone they want me to be. I have changed. I may not changed to a better person in their eye, but I have to say this, I have changed to a better person. I am no longer the loud person I was. I am 24 (sorry, 23.. i'll be 24 in Oct).. so I guess I have to behave like one. Behind closed-doors, I can be 13.. 4.. whatever age but in public, I'm 23. Call me a hypocrite but I think there is a lot of ppl like me out there. I just don't see the point of being urself and complain later that ppl are treating u like a kid or giving u 'my goodness, don't this kid know how to behave' looks. Another thing is, pretentious ppl. I don't see the point of being someone else just to impress ur circle of frens or the gal/guy u just met. Why the need? If u pretend to be someone u're not, u know for a fact that that gal/guy is only falling for the person u pretend to be and not u. Be yourself. U'll be surprise of how much there is in u that can make a gal/guy or even more, like u for u. Think about that.

Feeling rather amorphous

I couldn't sleep the whole nyte. Too many things were on my mind.. in fact, they're still on my mind. Have you ever felt like there are so many things on your mind that you don't exactly know what they are? Even if you do, there maybe a few that you can't figure out what it is. Am I making any sense here? See what I mean? Even I don't know what's on my mind or what the hell i'm writing. The lack of sleep has left me feeling rather weak. I'm suppose to pick up my cheque today but too weak to go out. In fact, I'm so weak I can't even type properly. My mind is just not working.

Okay, well, anyway, I miscalculated. There are 13 days left till Amir comes back. 13 days!! If only time would pass by faster. We have a lot of catching up to do. And a good play is goin to be staged at Bangsar Actors Studio on the 10th April onwards.. and I want to catch that play. It's goin to be a great one. I can just feel it. Ryte.. ;)

Tisha just told me that an old fren of ours is coming back somewhere in June. I bet she can't wait for that. Hehehe. Speaking of Tisha, mann.. we shared so many things back in primary school. We argued a lot too. We went out separate ways after std 6 and weren't as close as back then. About a yr ago, I bumped into her and it was great bcoz it wasn't awkward at all. It's good. We picked up from where we left off and now... it's all good. I don't think everyone else would do the same like what Tisha did. No matter how long ago you parted with your 'used-2-b-bestfrens', you would still hold that grudge against that person. I'm talking about those that parted on bad terms. I can't see myself being good to someone that betrayed me or backstabbed me. I just can't. Maybe it was easy for Tisha and I because the reason why we weren't close after primary school was the fact that we went to different secondary schools but although that may be the main reason, we did have a huge fight before we left SSP. Maybe it was easy for me to start all over is because what happened between us both was way back when we were 12. Now we're both 20-somethings and we have matured since then. I don't even know how I got into writing about this. All I'm saying is that, I miss all my frens. Especially the ones I was very much close to. My bestfrens who were with me when things were not good at home. My bestfrens who were there for me when I found out my ex-bf was cheating on me. My bestfrens who taught me the value of frenship but backstabbed me anyway. Okay, I don't miss them but if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have come acrossed 2-faced bitches like them and wouldn't have known that ppl like that exist in this world. The sad thing is that, ppl like them.. increases everyday...

I'm getting hungry.. mum's calling for lunch. Well, I'll write more later...

15 days left...

Ayu is helping me out with the template. Thank God, she's willing to help me with it. I was quite good at it but after a yr plus of not blogging, I forgot all the codes and stuff. Ayu! Thank you sooo much!!! You're my saviour!

Yeap yeap, 15 days left! Can't wait to see Amir. I'm goin to get back on the template. Write later..

Just another day...

I was called for duty last night. Hehe.. to play 'Call of Duty'. I had a headache and decided to stay home instead. Got bored so I went online. A fren of mine, which her name I shall not mention; is having a hard time with her... ermm.. guyfren. I don't know what to call them actually (coz they aren't exactly in a r/ship), but the point is it hurts to see what she's goin thru. I've been in her situation before and believe me, you wouldn't want to be in our situation. Why is it that it is so hard for guys to understand that that all we need is a little assurance? Maybe not little but for heaven's sakes just give us a bloody assurance! One more thing, what is it with you guys not letting us go out with other guys when it's alryte for YOU GUYS to go out with other gals? You're not even her bf!!! OMG! Please let me (and my fellow ladyfrens) understand men. Guys say gals are hard to understand. Try to understand your gender. It ain't easy, dude.

Anyway, we talked till 3am and from my own understanding, she's goin to give him 'the talk'. Altogether now.. *Oooohhh*. I hope, gal (if you're reading this), things will work out for you. I don't want it to go on like it is. You're not happy and why the need to stay? First of all, you're not his gf. You have a lot goin on for you. You have great guys waiting in line. I know once you set your heart on someone, it's hard to let go but if it ain't working, honey, it ain't worth it. Let me know how it went, k? Call me anytime you need to talk. Whatever your decision may be, I'm two steps behind you. If you decide to stay and he decides he wants a r/ship with you, go ahead but if he screws up... you know what I'll do. Just wait and see... (only if he screws up) and if it's the other way around... hehe.. I'll kick your ass, gal!!! You're smiling now, aren't you? Hehe.. well, hang in there, sweety. It'll be over soon...

Did i..

Mention that i miss Amir? No? Oh okay.. well, I MISS AMIR!!!

Later...

17 days left...

Amir just called. God, I miss him soooo much. In 17 days, I'll have someone to hangout with, someone I can bitch about ppl with.. hehe.. just can't wait to see Amir.

Everything is pretty much the same between my bro and his wife. Not talking. Yeah.. well, couldn't care less now.

Nothing much to write. Will probably write later..