Today I feel so lethargic. My body feels heavy. All I wanna do is to stay in bed. No work. No outing. No phone calls. No TV. Nothing. Zilch!
But of course, I am at work now. Not in bed. I wish I was. I should have just stayed in bed! Why did I even got up and went through my daily morning routine and came to work??
Because I am me. The responsible person that I am. Always thinking about other people. It's not fair of me to let my colleague do half of my part and more.
I wish I was a little irresponsible.
No, not really. I don't think I would like being irresponsible. I do wonder sometimes, how some people can be so irresponsible. How do they live with themselves that way? It's utterly mind-boggling!
Oh well, this is just another day for me. A new week. Hopefully it will be a good one!
Cheers!
Monday, May 21, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
My Seduction Style
| Your Seduction Style: Prized Object |
 The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get. You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them. The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase. You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away. You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance. Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't! You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors. Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor. You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for. |
Keys To My Heart
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
A year older or wiser?
In less than 5 months I will turn 27. It has been 10 years since the last time I was in school. 10 years. Wow. 20 years ago, I was seven. First year in primary school. I remember my first brother, Eddie sent me to school every day. He would wait for me outside my class. Every day. Don’t remember for how long he did that. He’d wait for me for lunch break, make friends with my classmates – for me, of course! – then when lunch break is over, he would walk me to class and wait outside till my day is over. Yup, he did that for me, every day. I don’t think he did that for months, maybe only for the first 2 weeks of Primary One.
Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.
Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean that romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.
But that changed as well when I started seeing Amir in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. Amir is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends. I should find him a hot girl. A really nice and hot girl because a man like him, deserves that. Hate to see a great guy like that single and not having anyone to love or be loved.
Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.
Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean that romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.
But that changed as well when I started seeing Amir in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. Amir is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends. I should find him a hot girl. A really nice and hot girl because a man like him, deserves that. Hate to see a great guy like that single and not having anyone to love or be loved.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Blah
It has been a stressful week for me. Work is good but lately, the big boss has been finding faults with us. Everything is not in order or not up to par. Not up to expectation – his, of course. The smallest mistake was turned into a big one. Complaining about it over and over again. At times I feel like giving up. I feel like leaving but I have to think about Jace. Not just Jace, but it’s hard for me to leave, actually. We work so hard to get the amount of students we have now and it’s really not easy considering that we have only been operating for almost 5 months now. Come June, it will be my one year anniversary with my company. What have I learnt for the past 11 months? A lot. I have learnt from the simplest to the hardest situation to deal with.
I have forged a bond with Jace. A great one. We have shared so many ups and downs for the past 5 months. I can’t just leave her to handle everything. It’s hard enough for us now, not having enough staff and when we do get new employees, they fuck us up by leaving only after 3 days of training and believe me, working under us is not difficult. We just don’t understand why we can’t get a decent staff like Shahrul. It’s really stressing us out right now. He’s leaving in June and really, we can’t find anyone as good and reliable as he is. All we need is just 2 reliable staff and we don’t even need full time staff – a part time will do! Gggrrrr…. It is so frustrating!
The only thing that keeps me sane at the moment is the fact that I am in love now. After 3 years of refraining myself from falling for someone for fear of getting hurt, I finally open and let my guards down… well, not entirely but strong enough now to actually love again. I just thought about it, what have I got to lose? If I do get hurt again (not that I want to get hurt but..), wouldn’t it just be another experience? Wouldn’t that make me a stronger person?
All I know right this moment is that he makes me happy. It’s insane. The way we met. It’s a blessing in disguise, he said. I was asked by a close of friend of mine, who was really into him at that time to catch him out and from there on, we ended up chatting more and getting to know more of each other. Things are getting pretty intense for both of us now and it’s scary but exciting at the same time. Like how I can’t wait to see how it will end up between us…. Will it work? Or will we go our separate ways?
He makes me feel good about myself. During one of our conversations, he said I made a difference in his life - yes, I would like to believe that but it's quite impossible for me to do that to him but if he said so then I guess I did then! I call him my sexy hot man because he is and well, physical aside, he has a great personality! So what more could a girl ask for?!
I have forged a bond with Jace. A great one. We have shared so many ups and downs for the past 5 months. I can’t just leave her to handle everything. It’s hard enough for us now, not having enough staff and when we do get new employees, they fuck us up by leaving only after 3 days of training and believe me, working under us is not difficult. We just don’t understand why we can’t get a decent staff like Shahrul. It’s really stressing us out right now. He’s leaving in June and really, we can’t find anyone as good and reliable as he is. All we need is just 2 reliable staff and we don’t even need full time staff – a part time will do! Gggrrrr…. It is so frustrating!
The only thing that keeps me sane at the moment is the fact that I am in love now. After 3 years of refraining myself from falling for someone for fear of getting hurt, I finally open and let my guards down… well, not entirely but strong enough now to actually love again. I just thought about it, what have I got to lose? If I do get hurt again (not that I want to get hurt but..), wouldn’t it just be another experience? Wouldn’t that make me a stronger person?
All I know right this moment is that he makes me happy. It’s insane. The way we met. It’s a blessing in disguise, he said. I was asked by a close of friend of mine, who was really into him at that time to catch him out and from there on, we ended up chatting more and getting to know more of each other. Things are getting pretty intense for both of us now and it’s scary but exciting at the same time. Like how I can’t wait to see how it will end up between us…. Will it work? Or will we go our separate ways?
He makes me feel good about myself. During one of our conversations, he said I made a difference in his life - yes, I would like to believe that but it's quite impossible for me to do that to him but if he said so then I guess I did then! I call him my sexy hot man because he is and well, physical aside, he has a great personality! So what more could a girl ask for?!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Down with a cold...
It's Sunday evening and I am at work. I have a cold and I am at work. I wish I was at home in bed. It's raining and it would be a good time to sleep in!!
I went clubbing with Zan and Scott last Friday night. We headed down to LeQueen and at around 11pm, it was still quiet. We sat down and moved to the sound of music playing. It wasn't a really good choice of songs at that time but it was alright.
11.30pm - I started seeing the crowds. Mostly men - yes, if you're familiar with KL nightlife, you would know that LeQueen is a gay club and a good one at that! I had so much fun although it is only my first time there. A lady is sure to feel safe in a gay club - doesn't matter if one is wearing something super sexy or not! Gay men are so generous with compliments and I must say, they have good fashion sense and taste in women - or shall I say faghag? LOL.
We left the place about 4am - went to mamak behind Istana hotel and headed for home afterwards. On the way home to KD, we passed by a wrecked car on the Penchala link highway. We stopped at the side and went to his rescue - well, Zan did. Scott told me to stay in the car as it may not be safe - ooh how sweet of you, Scott! The car was a total wreck, couldn't even ID what kinda car the man drove. Apparently, he was very drunk and was driving home alone. Zan called the police and ambulance. Later, due to oil leaking, the car caught fire so Zan called the fire department which took them oh about 20 mins to get there!! I was in total awe of what happened. Seriously - it was one of those nights where I would remember for a long time. LOL. I find things like that very fascinating. Got home about 6am and I totally crashed after all the dancing and waiting.
Tomorrow is a new week for everyone. I hope it'll be a good week for me! I have a meeting to attend on Tuesday so that's something I am looking forward to. One cousin of mine getting engaged this Saturday, I have to emcee an event with my company on the same Saturday and another cousin getting married on the 1st May. Wow - will be quite a week for me! I wish all of you a great week ahead!!
I went clubbing with Zan and Scott last Friday night. We headed down to LeQueen and at around 11pm, it was still quiet. We sat down and moved to the sound of music playing. It wasn't a really good choice of songs at that time but it was alright.
11.30pm - I started seeing the crowds. Mostly men - yes, if you're familiar with KL nightlife, you would know that LeQueen is a gay club and a good one at that! I had so much fun although it is only my first time there. A lady is sure to feel safe in a gay club - doesn't matter if one is wearing something super sexy or not! Gay men are so generous with compliments and I must say, they have good fashion sense and taste in women - or shall I say faghag? LOL.
We left the place about 4am - went to mamak behind Istana hotel and headed for home afterwards. On the way home to KD, we passed by a wrecked car on the Penchala link highway. We stopped at the side and went to his rescue - well, Zan did. Scott told me to stay in the car as it may not be safe - ooh how sweet of you, Scott! The car was a total wreck, couldn't even ID what kinda car the man drove. Apparently, he was very drunk and was driving home alone. Zan called the police and ambulance. Later, due to oil leaking, the car caught fire so Zan called the fire department which took them oh about 20 mins to get there!! I was in total awe of what happened. Seriously - it was one of those nights where I would remember for a long time. LOL. I find things like that very fascinating. Got home about 6am and I totally crashed after all the dancing and waiting.
Tomorrow is a new week for everyone. I hope it'll be a good week for me! I have a meeting to attend on Tuesday so that's something I am looking forward to. One cousin of mine getting engaged this Saturday, I have to emcee an event with my company on the same Saturday and another cousin getting married on the 1st May. Wow - will be quite a week for me! I wish all of you a great week ahead!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
What I look for in a man
I was in bed last night when I started thinking about a question that was asked by a friend of mine which I didn't really answer. "What do you look for in a man/husband?". But now that I had given it a thought, here is what I have to say...
Communication - Okay, he must be able to communicate with me on every level. Whatever that is going on - bad or good - he must communicate with me no matter what! We must be able to work out our problems and the way to work it out is by communicating with one another.
Personality - My sexy hot man (yes I intend to have a sexy hot husband - call me a dreamer, I don't care!!) must have a personality that isn't like some broad-chested man with no brains. Or a computer geek who stays in front of his computer all day and night or a couch potato who does only that - sits in front of the tube and watch TV shows all day through! I need someone who is positive, has strong personality and is kind-hearted. I need to be with someone whose personality just engulfs me like a warm blanket!!
Sense of Humour - People say laughter is the best medicine. Yes it is! It breaks down tense moments and solidifies why you love that person. I have been told that I am funny or I have a rather decent sense of humour (sometimes my humourous side can be cynical and sarcastic but hey, it's humour nonetheless!!) but I need a man who will make me laugh which in turn will make me happy. Not only that, smiling and laughing tend to make one look younger, so yes, I need someone that can do both to me!
Trustworthy - Or someone loyal. I don't need a player in my life. Have had enough of that when I was younger. I want and need someone who will be mine and only mine and I am his. No one else.
Respect - Mutual respect is earned therefore if he respects me, I'll gladly return the respect. Enough said!
Sex - I have a sex drive that is only matched by a porn star. Okay okay, that is not so true. While my husband and I may not have sex everyday or multiple times a day, he must like sex a lot and be up for it at anytime as I feel that is one of the many ways to show your love for the one in your life.
Now on to the more specific details...
Spontaneous - Maybe a romantic getaway or those little notes left behind in closets, drawers etc or flowers sent to the office - those would be nice!!
Gets along with my family - Now if he can do that, he won't have to worry about me looking another way!!
Likes to spend time at home and read or watch DVDs with me - you know some quality time and cuddling up, those kinda things.
Intelligent - I must be with someone who can carry decent and intelligent conversation at any time. Someone that must be able to have thoughtful and deep discussions on anything and everything because that would also help me to become a better person at discussing things and to be more open.
Job - Must be able to make his own money as I am not going to be anyone's sugar mummy!
My love for petty things/F1/UFOs - Doesn't judge me based on all these things that fascinate me. In fact, if he loves it too - that would be a bonus but if he doesn't, it isn't the end of the world, I just discuss the matters with other people!
Friends - He must be able to accept my friends (very small amount of friends that I have, VERY small!) and respect them as I will, his friends. Must be able to accept the fact that I am good friends with my ex and nothing more than that.
Travel - He must love travelling because I do but I don't get to do it every so often so my partner must love it so we both can travel around the country/world when/if we can. Have romantic vacations now and then - that would be very nice!!!
Animals - Must love animals especially cats! I love cats. I used to have dozens and I would still like to have one soon. Horses - wonderful beings.
Last would be that I would love to have someone who is passionate about all things pursued. I admire and respect someone who is passionate about his hobbies, surroundings, beliefs.. someone who speaks their mind in a respectful manner.
I would also like someone who challenges me on every level. I always enjoy a good challenge, win or lose. He would be someone who makes me want to be a better person because they are that great of a person.
So there it is. The list of things I look for in a man. I don't think it's that hard to find someone like that? LOL.
Communication - Okay, he must be able to communicate with me on every level. Whatever that is going on - bad or good - he must communicate with me no matter what! We must be able to work out our problems and the way to work it out is by communicating with one another.
Personality - My sexy hot man (yes I intend to have a sexy hot husband - call me a dreamer, I don't care!!) must have a personality that isn't like some broad-chested man with no brains. Or a computer geek who stays in front of his computer all day and night or a couch potato who does only that - sits in front of the tube and watch TV shows all day through! I need someone who is positive, has strong personality and is kind-hearted. I need to be with someone whose personality just engulfs me like a warm blanket!!
Sense of Humour - People say laughter is the best medicine. Yes it is! It breaks down tense moments and solidifies why you love that person. I have been told that I am funny or I have a rather decent sense of humour (sometimes my humourous side can be cynical and sarcastic but hey, it's humour nonetheless!!) but I need a man who will make me laugh which in turn will make me happy. Not only that, smiling and laughing tend to make one look younger, so yes, I need someone that can do both to me!
Trustworthy - Or someone loyal. I don't need a player in my life. Have had enough of that when I was younger. I want and need someone who will be mine and only mine and I am his. No one else.
Respect - Mutual respect is earned therefore if he respects me, I'll gladly return the respect. Enough said!
Sex - I have a sex drive that is only matched by a porn star. Okay okay, that is not so true. While my husband and I may not have sex everyday or multiple times a day, he must like sex a lot and be up for it at anytime as I feel that is one of the many ways to show your love for the one in your life.
Now on to the more specific details...
Spontaneous - Maybe a romantic getaway or those little notes left behind in closets, drawers etc or flowers sent to the office - those would be nice!!
Gets along with my family - Now if he can do that, he won't have to worry about me looking another way!!
Likes to spend time at home and read or watch DVDs with me - you know some quality time and cuddling up, those kinda things.
Intelligent - I must be with someone who can carry decent and intelligent conversation at any time. Someone that must be able to have thoughtful and deep discussions on anything and everything because that would also help me to become a better person at discussing things and to be more open.
Job - Must be able to make his own money as I am not going to be anyone's sugar mummy!
My love for petty things/F1/UFOs - Doesn't judge me based on all these things that fascinate me. In fact, if he loves it too - that would be a bonus but if he doesn't, it isn't the end of the world, I just discuss the matters with other people!
Friends - He must be able to accept my friends (very small amount of friends that I have, VERY small!) and respect them as I will, his friends. Must be able to accept the fact that I am good friends with my ex and nothing more than that.
Travel - He must love travelling because I do but I don't get to do it every so often so my partner must love it so we both can travel around the country/world when/if we can. Have romantic vacations now and then - that would be very nice!!!
Animals - Must love animals especially cats! I love cats. I used to have dozens and I would still like to have one soon. Horses - wonderful beings.
Last would be that I would love to have someone who is passionate about all things pursued. I admire and respect someone who is passionate about his hobbies, surroundings, beliefs.. someone who speaks their mind in a respectful manner.
I would also like someone who challenges me on every level. I always enjoy a good challenge, win or lose. He would be someone who makes me want to be a better person because they are that great of a person.
So there it is. The list of things I look for in a man. I don't think it's that hard to find someone like that? LOL.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Just one of those days...
Here I sit with my heart closing in. I am just in one of those moods where I feel down. It may be caused by the thoughts I had earlier - still have in fact. I hate it when I am doing just fine, smiling and having wonderful thoughts and out of nowhere, I just think of one stupid thing and it changes your mood. I f***ing hate that!!
It just ruins everything! All those little nice thoughts I have - gone! Poof! If only it was easy to get those nice little thoughts again. It would be easy to just block out and think of those nice thoughts but I just feel guilty to do so right now.
How can it not bring me down when things might get better between him and her? Yes, maybe I am thinking of it before it actually happened but I think by doing that, I am preparing myself from getting hurt again?
This sucks. Big time. Why must it be this way? Why??
It just ruins everything! All those little nice thoughts I have - gone! Poof! If only it was easy to get those nice little thoughts again. It would be easy to just block out and think of those nice thoughts but I just feel guilty to do so right now.
How can it not bring me down when things might get better between him and her? Yes, maybe I am thinking of it before it actually happened but I think by doing that, I am preparing myself from getting hurt again?
This sucks. Big time. Why must it be this way? Why??
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wow
Wow - I just went through all my entries and realised that I have had this blog up for 4 years! This is probably the longest relationship I have ever had!! LOL. If only I could have an actual relationship for THAT long!!!
Well, 4 years of tears, laughter, good memories, bad memories....
And more to come....
Cheers!!
Well, 4 years of tears, laughter, good memories, bad memories....
And more to come....
Cheers!!
A Long awaited entry
I am here to blog again after so long! I just haven't gotten to it. The last time I blogged, it was about a good friend of mine - and that was it. A lot has happened eversince. I have changed. I got over someone. I met a lot of people. Transfered to a new branch. Got closer to someone. Love someone. Yes, you read it correctly. Surprised? Yeah, imagine mine. Bonnie, if you're reading this - don't start teasing me. Yes I know it's about time, you freak!
Anyway....
I woke up to the sound of James Morisson ring tone on my cell. Zan called. I think he is still upset about his crush. He cried - no, nothing like when a woman cries! I wish I could have been there for him. It must have been hard for him to go home and to be alone in his apartment. I can't believe the things H said to him. I hate it when someone takes you for a ride and think it is alright to just drop you off and pick you up again at any time that one desires! I don't know why before this I thought gay people had it easy. I think that would be the farthest thing that they could ever have because they have so much more to prove to the society in order for society to accept them. Anyhow, I know how it feels like when you love someone that has extra baggage. I know for a fact that Zan has so much more to offer than his ex but if H chose to go back to his ex.. then clearly he's not worth it. You're better off with someone who cares and loves you and appreciates you. I mean who goes back to their exes anyway?! Especially if you caught him with his pants down?!
I read this article by Jay Leno on sports cars. He owns an SLR McLaren, if I am not mistaken. The article was good and accurate. He mentioned in his article that he worked on this rap artist who also owns the same car and how they got into a conversation about SLR McLaren. Leno said it's just too bad that SLR McLaren doesn't come up with a manual because it would have been brilliant to drive a manual - the rap artist agreed and funny thing was at the end, he said he (the rapper) doesn't know how to drive a stick!! It's stupid to own a McLaren (eventhough it's auto), Lambo or Ferrari and not driving a stick! What's the point in that? Esp for men!!! He mentioned Robbie Williams owns a Lambo or was it the same car (not too sure) as well and has a driver to drive him around in it!!!! OMG!!! You're a man, be a man and drive it yourself! If you do not know how to drive a stick, don't buy a Lambo just for the sake of having one and showing it off to the world that you can afford one. I'd laugh to his face, seriously. What a wuss!! Even here in Malaysia, it's funny to see some men showing off their over the top ridiculously-expensive cars and when you ask, "so it's manual right?" - most of them would say "hell no - you can't be driving a manual in KL!!". Dude!! That's not the point! You buy a sports car for it's power, the adrenaline rush you get when you shift the friggin' gear... omg, what do I know?! I'm a woman so I don't think I should get into this but really, I don't even think it's practical for one to get a Lambo here in Malaysia anyway. I know someone who owns a Ferrari Enzo and it's just lying there in his garage.... how sad! With the amount of money you spent to buy it - it'd be much better for you to help those with no food, no shelter - let alone a car!!
I have to get some errands done and then heading off to Casa Tropicana to take a look at some of the units. I am still thinking about it - not too sure if I am doing the right thing by moving out but I do know at some point, I will have to do it and why not now? I think I am thinking more about how lonely my parents would feel without me around. We have all gotten used to having the three of us back together and it has always been just us ever since El got married so if I moved out then it would be like starting all over again (in a way, that's a challenge for me) and a lot of adjustments would have to be made. My father has never liked the idea of my living on my own. He would avoid at all cost to discuss on that matter but one day, he just came up to me and asked if I had taken a look at any and even offered to come with me. It meant something to me for him to say that. I know it is very hard for both my parents to let me go (being the only girl and the youngest) again but I just feel it's about time and it only makes sense for me to move out somewhere closer to the academy. Funny thing is, I remember about a year ago or maybe 2 - my father had ask me to apply for a job in Dubai. Now that he can let go but for me to move out out of the house - no?! Just recently, my cousin called from Sudan, Africa and told my parents that she wanted me to work with her and they were quite happy about it! So what's wrong with moving out somewhere 30 mins away from them?! My father is a funny man. Fickle too! Very!! And I got that from him! Anyway, Ezy (my second brother) saw a really nice house nearby Eddie's place (my first brother) so if they like the house then at any time, Eddie can check up on them so that made me feel a little better. It just worries me because both my parents are at the age where their health is beginning to deteriorate - that is what worries me most.
Now that Eddie has arrived, I am going to hit the shower and out for lunch. House-hunting should be fun with Eddie - he seem to have a thing for properties. The right person to go with! No promises on more entries as I might not have that much time to blog as often... as I always say it!!
Anyway....
I woke up to the sound of James Morisson ring tone on my cell. Zan called. I think he is still upset about his crush. He cried - no, nothing like when a woman cries! I wish I could have been there for him. It must have been hard for him to go home and to be alone in his apartment. I can't believe the things H said to him. I hate it when someone takes you for a ride and think it is alright to just drop you off and pick you up again at any time that one desires! I don't know why before this I thought gay people had it easy. I think that would be the farthest thing that they could ever have because they have so much more to prove to the society in order for society to accept them. Anyhow, I know how it feels like when you love someone that has extra baggage. I know for a fact that Zan has so much more to offer than his ex but if H chose to go back to his ex.. then clearly he's not worth it. You're better off with someone who cares and loves you and appreciates you. I mean who goes back to their exes anyway?! Especially if you caught him with his pants down?!
I read this article by Jay Leno on sports cars. He owns an SLR McLaren, if I am not mistaken. The article was good and accurate. He mentioned in his article that he worked on this rap artist who also owns the same car and how they got into a conversation about SLR McLaren. Leno said it's just too bad that SLR McLaren doesn't come up with a manual because it would have been brilliant to drive a manual - the rap artist agreed and funny thing was at the end, he said he (the rapper) doesn't know how to drive a stick!! It's stupid to own a McLaren (eventhough it's auto), Lambo or Ferrari and not driving a stick! What's the point in that? Esp for men!!! He mentioned Robbie Williams owns a Lambo or was it the same car (not too sure) as well and has a driver to drive him around in it!!!! OMG!!! You're a man, be a man and drive it yourself! If you do not know how to drive a stick, don't buy a Lambo just for the sake of having one and showing it off to the world that you can afford one. I'd laugh to his face, seriously. What a wuss!! Even here in Malaysia, it's funny to see some men showing off their over the top ridiculously-expensive cars and when you ask, "so it's manual right?" - most of them would say "hell no - you can't be driving a manual in KL!!". Dude!! That's not the point! You buy a sports car for it's power, the adrenaline rush you get when you shift the friggin' gear... omg, what do I know?! I'm a woman so I don't think I should get into this but really, I don't even think it's practical for one to get a Lambo here in Malaysia anyway. I know someone who owns a Ferrari Enzo and it's just lying there in his garage.... how sad! With the amount of money you spent to buy it - it'd be much better for you to help those with no food, no shelter - let alone a car!!
I have to get some errands done and then heading off to Casa Tropicana to take a look at some of the units. I am still thinking about it - not too sure if I am doing the right thing by moving out but I do know at some point, I will have to do it and why not now? I think I am thinking more about how lonely my parents would feel without me around. We have all gotten used to having the three of us back together and it has always been just us ever since El got married so if I moved out then it would be like starting all over again (in a way, that's a challenge for me) and a lot of adjustments would have to be made. My father has never liked the idea of my living on my own. He would avoid at all cost to discuss on that matter but one day, he just came up to me and asked if I had taken a look at any and even offered to come with me. It meant something to me for him to say that. I know it is very hard for both my parents to let me go (being the only girl and the youngest) again but I just feel it's about time and it only makes sense for me to move out somewhere closer to the academy. Funny thing is, I remember about a year ago or maybe 2 - my father had ask me to apply for a job in Dubai. Now that he can let go but for me to move out out of the house - no?! Just recently, my cousin called from Sudan, Africa and told my parents that she wanted me to work with her and they were quite happy about it! So what's wrong with moving out somewhere 30 mins away from them?! My father is a funny man. Fickle too! Very!! And I got that from him! Anyway, Ezy (my second brother) saw a really nice house nearby Eddie's place (my first brother) so if they like the house then at any time, Eddie can check up on them so that made me feel a little better. It just worries me because both my parents are at the age where their health is beginning to deteriorate - that is what worries me most.
Now that Eddie has arrived, I am going to hit the shower and out for lunch. House-hunting should be fun with Eddie - he seem to have a thing for properties. The right person to go with! No promises on more entries as I might not have that much time to blog as often... as I always say it!!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Some things are not meant to be....
For the past few days, things have been a lil rough between me and B. Things I have said - was suppose to be a joke - turned out to be the main issue of our argument. I guess it was for the best... but if it is, why do I feel down? I just wish I had a way to make it better... or at least a way for us to be good friends... but even that - I am not sure of.
I just want you to know that I am not feeling any better about this situation but there isn't anything we can do about it because we both know that the longer we talk about it, the more painful it will be for us.
Other than this, there is another thing that is bothering me but as always, I do not want to get into it at the moment.
Have a good week ahead, everyone...
Cheers!
I just want you to know that I am not feeling any better about this situation but there isn't anything we can do about it because we both know that the longer we talk about it, the more painful it will be for us.
Other than this, there is another thing that is bothering me but as always, I do not want to get into it at the moment.
Have a good week ahead, everyone...
Cheers!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Song
Artist : James Morrison
Album : Undiscovered
Title : You Give Me Something
you only stay with me in the morning
you only hold me when i sleep
i was meant to tread the water
but now i've gotten in too deep
for every piece of me that wants you
another piece backs away
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart
you only waited up for hours
just to spend a little time alone with me
and i can say i've never bought you flowers
i can't work out what they mean
i never thought that i'd love someone
that was someone else's dream
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might call you from my heart
but it might be a second too late
and the words that i could never say
are gonna come out anyway
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart
know my heart, know my heart, know my heart
This song has left a huge impact on me. I can just relate to this song in so many ways. I'm hooked on it. Seriously... I'm HOOKED on it!!!
I couldn't sleep last night. I was feeling restless... and sad. There are just so many things on my mind but I just can't seem to let it all out. I don't know why... but I just can't.
In fact, I don't even have anything much to say here. It's a bright day today... but somehow, it's rather dark for me...
Album : Undiscovered
Title : You Give Me Something
you only stay with me in the morning
you only hold me when i sleep
i was meant to tread the water
but now i've gotten in too deep
for every piece of me that wants you
another piece backs away
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart
you only waited up for hours
just to spend a little time alone with me
and i can say i've never bought you flowers
i can't work out what they mean
i never thought that i'd love someone
that was someone else's dream
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might call you from my heart
but it might be a second too late
and the words that i could never say
are gonna come out anyway
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart
know my heart, know my heart, know my heart
This song has left a huge impact on me. I can just relate to this song in so many ways. I'm hooked on it. Seriously... I'm HOOKED on it!!!
I couldn't sleep last night. I was feeling restless... and sad. There are just so many things on my mind but I just can't seem to let it all out. I don't know why... but I just can't.
In fact, I don't even have anything much to say here. It's a bright day today... but somehow, it's rather dark for me...
Monday, December 04, 2006
Boring day for me...
It has been a very unproductive day for me. I came to work at 11.30am. Woke up quite early actually, that's good. Wish I had my gym bag with me so that I can get some work out done today but I forgot to prepare my stuff, night before and didn't have time to do so just now.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed I looked like I have been crying non-stop last night. I hate this. I hate looking like this. People are really gonna think that I've been crying, in fact - I had a stranger came up to me and asked if everything is alright - lady, yes... everything is perfectly fine, thank you for asking. I think I'm going through one of those days... yes - PMS.
Not really in a good mood... I hate this! Really, I do. No kidding.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed I looked like I have been crying non-stop last night. I hate this. I hate looking like this. People are really gonna think that I've been crying, in fact - I had a stranger came up to me and asked if everything is alright - lady, yes... everything is perfectly fine, thank you for asking. I think I'm going through one of those days... yes - PMS.
Not really in a good mood... I hate this! Really, I do. No kidding.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Beta version? hmmm..
Okay I don't know what's with this Beta version. I specifically clicked on the 'NO' button but it decided to proceed with the Beta version anyway! I hate Beta... okay, maybe because this pc seems to be a little slow, I guess that's why I find Beta not that user-friendly - yes, I know you people think Beta is much better but it's my blog and I have the right to say whatever I want here - okay, so out of the context and I seriously have forgotten what I was getting at... This happens when I drink too much coffee in the afternoon and am hungry too.
Note to self : No more coffee for today!
My niecey's concert is tomorrow, so am off from work. Yeay! I can't wait because I have not spent quality time with the whole family lately due to my busy schedule. Am really looking forward to tomorrow. Wafi - that's my niece - she's 4 and soooooo cute! Gorgeous babe is more like it! She's been showing off her dancing skills to me - she asked if I could dance, hell yes I can! I actually think she's very talented. Good actor too! LOL. Am thinking of compiling a comp card of her and send them to all the talent agencies. Yes, am very proud of her.
Work has been rather... hectic and unorganised. I don't know how many times have I actually organised, well, all of us actually and still there is always something that is left undone. Come 26th Dec, I will be transfered to the new centre. I'm quite excited about it but also, a little sad. I won't be working with the same people and I realised that I am already missing half the people I know here - students included. I guess I will have to adapt to the changes and I always do so shouldn't be a problem... right??
Anyway, it feels good when you have someone to think about... always...
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Note to self : No more coffee for today!
My niecey's concert is tomorrow, so am off from work. Yeay! I can't wait because I have not spent quality time with the whole family lately due to my busy schedule. Am really looking forward to tomorrow. Wafi - that's my niece - she's 4 and soooooo cute! Gorgeous babe is more like it! She's been showing off her dancing skills to me - she asked if I could dance, hell yes I can! I actually think she's very talented. Good actor too! LOL. Am thinking of compiling a comp card of her and send them to all the talent agencies. Yes, am very proud of her.
Work has been rather... hectic and unorganised. I don't know how many times have I actually organised, well, all of us actually and still there is always something that is left undone. Come 26th Dec, I will be transfered to the new centre. I'm quite excited about it but also, a little sad. I won't be working with the same people and I realised that I am already missing half the people I know here - students included. I guess I will have to adapt to the changes and I always do so shouldn't be a problem... right??
Anyway, it feels good when you have someone to think about... always...
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Friday, November 10, 2006
blerh
It's been a tiring week. I haven't been getting enough sleep so that makes me a lil mean towards everyone. I am still coughing so that makes it a week now. On top of my having a cough, I now have a cold as well. Great. Woohoo.
Work has been a lil stressful. Something happened at work and it has totally changed my perception of the person involved. You'd think that you know that person so well... and bam! It hit you that you don't really know that person after all. I hate when that happens. It just gives you a whole different look on everything and everyone. It really hurts to have gotten to know what he did. Not only that, I am very disappointed with him. Very. I can't even explain or describe how disapppointed I am. I have to get up every day, get ready to work and face him and act as if I have no idea what's going on. I have to talk to him as I always do... I think as a friend, he's a nice person but I don't think I can face him... or even look at him the same way.. ever again.
It's just one of those days where I need to let it out...
Work has been a lil stressful. Something happened at work and it has totally changed my perception of the person involved. You'd think that you know that person so well... and bam! It hit you that you don't really know that person after all. I hate when that happens. It just gives you a whole different look on everything and everyone. It really hurts to have gotten to know what he did. Not only that, I am very disappointed with him. Very. I can't even explain or describe how disapppointed I am. I have to get up every day, get ready to work and face him and act as if I have no idea what's going on. I have to talk to him as I always do... I think as a friend, he's a nice person but I don't think I can face him... or even look at him the same way.. ever again.
It's just one of those days where I need to let it out...
Sunday, November 05, 2006
The Day After...
It was a very exhausting day yesterday. I got up at 7am, got ready to work and arrived an hour later. The first to arrived. I have totally forgotten about the BM Perdana seminar so I was looking forward to be going home around 1630... alas! I got home only about 15mins before 2100. So I was at work for about 11 hrs yesterday... friggin' tired!!!
Today, it's a pretty slow day at work. I can't wait to go home and get some sleep!
It's a sunny day... wish I was on somewhere in Langkawi, at the beach. With my suntan lotion, mocktail and sunglasses. Just lying on the beach... listening to my music collection on my Sony mp3. Sigh... I'm in need of a break!! I can't wait for Dec to come... hurry up, December!!!
Okay, I have issues to resolve now. Parents to attend to... an angry aunt of a student who's pissed off because her niece is an ignorant lil... (I shall not continue) well, so is the aunt! Anyway, bloggers... have a great day!
Today, it's a pretty slow day at work. I can't wait to go home and get some sleep!
It's a sunny day... wish I was on somewhere in Langkawi, at the beach. With my suntan lotion, mocktail and sunglasses. Just lying on the beach... listening to my music collection on my Sony mp3. Sigh... I'm in need of a break!! I can't wait for Dec to come... hurry up, December!!!
Okay, I have issues to resolve now. Parents to attend to... an angry aunt of a student who's pissed off because her niece is an ignorant lil... (I shall not continue) well, so is the aunt! Anyway, bloggers... have a great day!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Anticipation
Sigh...
Another day, another problem...
I can handle it. Yup, I can!! (Keep repeating that to urself if u ever come across a problem and it really works! - yeah ryte!!).
The problem is nothing compared to what I'm going thru in my personal life. Work related problems are the easiest to overcome simply because - it's either a problem u face every other day or the computer's being an arse... so yeah, that makes it easy to rectify.
As for my personal life... well.. that's another story.
Which I am not about to get into... at the moment.
I've been having chest pains for the past few weeks. Lately, it's getting worst.. I haven't had a good sleep for the past few nights because of it. Going to the doctor is something quite routine for me. I hate depending on pills... not that I am addicted to them but it's more about my ego. I feel like I'm a freaking superhuman who does not need any kind of supplements padahal I do need them.. hehe.. not making sense, I know.
Look I'm bored and I've finished up what's need to be done here... hence the ramblings!!
Oooh... I heard so much about 'Prestige' and I am dying to go catch it...
Anyone? ;)
Another day, another problem...
I can handle it. Yup, I can!! (Keep repeating that to urself if u ever come across a problem and it really works! - yeah ryte!!).
The problem is nothing compared to what I'm going thru in my personal life. Work related problems are the easiest to overcome simply because - it's either a problem u face every other day or the computer's being an arse... so yeah, that makes it easy to rectify.
As for my personal life... well.. that's another story.
Which I am not about to get into... at the moment.
I've been having chest pains for the past few weeks. Lately, it's getting worst.. I haven't had a good sleep for the past few nights because of it. Going to the doctor is something quite routine for me. I hate depending on pills... not that I am addicted to them but it's more about my ego. I feel like I'm a freaking superhuman who does not need any kind of supplements padahal I do need them.. hehe.. not making sense, I know.
Look I'm bored and I've finished up what's need to be done here... hence the ramblings!!
Oooh... I heard so much about 'Prestige' and I am dying to go catch it...
Anyone? ;)
Sunday, October 29, 2006
At last, a new entry...
First of all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all Muslims... Hope it has been a great one this year for everyone else as it's been one for me and my family.
So it has been a year since I last blogged. Again, my excuse is still the same. I've been swamped with work and family matters. I'm always busy, yes.. I really am.
This year, my parents and I went back to Penang to celebrate Aidilfitri with my grandmother and mum's sibs. It was a great one this year. Had loads of fun and somehow, it's a lil different this year compared to last couple of years. Last year, we celebrated in KL and it was rather dull. There's no life in KL during festive season so it's really quiet and boring.
Usually on the first day of Aidilfitri, after salam Raya with family members and relatives and makan, my bros and I would head to the room and sleep. Yes... we sleep on the first day of Raya.. almost the whole day! This year, my bros went back to their wives' hometowns to celebrate so there's only me in Penang.. and no, I didn't sleep. Okay, I might have lied there.. I did sleep but only for about an hr or 2. My cousin has taken over the reign, he slept from 11am till 8pm!! I'm not kidding! He must have been effing tired or just plain effing sleepy!
One of the things that made Raya this year fun was the part where all of us - my mum, my aunts, my female cousins and nieces slept in one room! All the men in the family slept downstairs in the family hall. The ladies were making jokes and talking about the past. It was fun listening to my mum and aunts telling us, kids about their ex-bfs and stuff.. LOL.
It was a fantastic Raya and I'm really looking forward to next year. In fact, it was so much fun that we planned to have a family gathering for Hari Raya Aidiladha. Can't wait for that!!
So it has been a year since I last blogged. Again, my excuse is still the same. I've been swamped with work and family matters. I'm always busy, yes.. I really am.
This year, my parents and I went back to Penang to celebrate Aidilfitri with my grandmother and mum's sibs. It was a great one this year. Had loads of fun and somehow, it's a lil different this year compared to last couple of years. Last year, we celebrated in KL and it was rather dull. There's no life in KL during festive season so it's really quiet and boring.
Usually on the first day of Aidilfitri, after salam Raya with family members and relatives and makan, my bros and I would head to the room and sleep. Yes... we sleep on the first day of Raya.. almost the whole day! This year, my bros went back to their wives' hometowns to celebrate so there's only me in Penang.. and no, I didn't sleep. Okay, I might have lied there.. I did sleep but only for about an hr or 2. My cousin has taken over the reign, he slept from 11am till 8pm!! I'm not kidding! He must have been effing tired or just plain effing sleepy!
One of the things that made Raya this year fun was the part where all of us - my mum, my aunts, my female cousins and nieces slept in one room! All the men in the family slept downstairs in the family hall. The ladies were making jokes and talking about the past. It was fun listening to my mum and aunts telling us, kids about their ex-bfs and stuff.. LOL.
It was a fantastic Raya and I'm really looking forward to next year. In fact, it was so much fun that we planned to have a family gathering for Hari Raya Aidiladha. Can't wait for that!!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
Busy preparing for Aidilfitri. I'll be heading to Muar on 2nd Hari Raya to visit Kak Jules' side. Can't wait. Can't remember the last time I was in Johor.
I blogged earlier but the PC crashed so everything I wrote is a gone now.. hate when that happens!!
I'm off now.. will write later.. maybe.. just maybe.... =)
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all u ppl out there..
If I have said or done any thing wrong to u.. pls forgive me... Maaf Zahir & Batin..
Have a great one this year...
Love always...
I blogged earlier but the PC crashed so everything I wrote is a gone now.. hate when that happens!!
I'm off now.. will write later.. maybe.. just maybe.... =)
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all u ppl out there..
If I have said or done any thing wrong to u.. pls forgive me... Maaf Zahir & Batin..
Have a great one this year...
Love always...
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Malaysia
Malaysia was once in my eyes, the safest place on earth. Far away from the thugs and serial killers out in the West, our country was seemingly a refugee away from what was bad and tragic. Sure, we fought Japanese during the Second Wolrd War and had had an ongoing battle against British occupation since the 18th century, as well as the Portuguese in the 16th century. Yet, there weren't tales of massacre, of power mad leaders and vengeful murderers. There wasn't the extreme racism once practised in South Africa or even in the US!
Malaysia was a refuge from all that was wrong in this world. The ppl were frenly, tolerant and caring - hey, even the tourist brochures said so! The Asian culture of caring for ur neighbour and being hospitable to him/her was one ingrained into my upbringing. Life was good, idyllic and peaceful.Of late tho, I've been made to look twice at this refure I once considered home - the reports of thotless murders and brutal rape (incest included) that have recently made headlines also make me wonder: if u can't consider ur own home safe, where can u go? Sure, the senseless and tragic murder of Canny Ong or Norrita Samsuddin (if she were murdered) were catalysts to my traing of thot but those fears stemmed way back, when increasingly, murder without motive, and rape, not just of young women but those who were old, handicapped and pregnant (not to mention, children) appeared more and more frequently in the papers.
When after reading headline after disturbing headline in the local papers, I thot to myself.. what is the world coming to?? Even closer to home, what is the state (ormore accurately, the state of mind) of our country coming to? There was once a time in our past when locals helped needy strangers and even invited them into their homes. Now, such an act would be thot of as gross stupidity. These days, if a stranger begs for help outside ur home, u shut him/her out; if u see a man/woman bleeding in ur path, u close ur eyes and move on. Onlookers would call u heartless but with so many tales of conmen disguising as needy, hapless strangers who then take advantage of the situation, how can one be sure anymore?
Now, the Malaysian society is so much more guarded - has had to be so much more guarded - thanks to the sorry result of cause and effect. To be fair, the rising crime rate isn't just a calamity suffered by those in our country. It's a worldwide problem caused, many believe, by the degradation of morals and the promotion of modern ideals e.g materialism, pressure to succeed, emphasis on peers and standing, rather than family.
Comparatively, our country's still a relatively safe place: open riots are an extreme rarity and democracy of thot within reason is still allowed. They say the grass always looks greener on the other side and it's true. Yes, Malaysia's not as safe as it once was but so are most parts of the world. Whatever it is, it's still home to me, becoz it's where I grew up, where my happiest memories were formed. To truly appreciate Malaysia, I think one should travel to other seemingly foreign and exotic locales (somewhere within Asia is enough for me), where I've had abused heaped upon me just becoz I'm different and therefore seen as inferior. Now that has never been the case in Malaysia, my home.
Malaysia was a refuge from all that was wrong in this world. The ppl were frenly, tolerant and caring - hey, even the tourist brochures said so! The Asian culture of caring for ur neighbour and being hospitable to him/her was one ingrained into my upbringing. Life was good, idyllic and peaceful.Of late tho, I've been made to look twice at this refure I once considered home - the reports of thotless murders and brutal rape (incest included) that have recently made headlines also make me wonder: if u can't consider ur own home safe, where can u go? Sure, the senseless and tragic murder of Canny Ong or Norrita Samsuddin (if she were murdered) were catalysts to my traing of thot but those fears stemmed way back, when increasingly, murder without motive, and rape, not just of young women but those who were old, handicapped and pregnant (not to mention, children) appeared more and more frequently in the papers.
When after reading headline after disturbing headline in the local papers, I thot to myself.. what is the world coming to?? Even closer to home, what is the state (ormore accurately, the state of mind) of our country coming to? There was once a time in our past when locals helped needy strangers and even invited them into their homes. Now, such an act would be thot of as gross stupidity. These days, if a stranger begs for help outside ur home, u shut him/her out; if u see a man/woman bleeding in ur path, u close ur eyes and move on. Onlookers would call u heartless but with so many tales of conmen disguising as needy, hapless strangers who then take advantage of the situation, how can one be sure anymore?
Now, the Malaysian society is so much more guarded - has had to be so much more guarded - thanks to the sorry result of cause and effect. To be fair, the rising crime rate isn't just a calamity suffered by those in our country. It's a worldwide problem caused, many believe, by the degradation of morals and the promotion of modern ideals e.g materialism, pressure to succeed, emphasis on peers and standing, rather than family.
Comparatively, our country's still a relatively safe place: open riots are an extreme rarity and democracy of thot within reason is still allowed. They say the grass always looks greener on the other side and it's true. Yes, Malaysia's not as safe as it once was but so are most parts of the world. Whatever it is, it's still home to me, becoz it's where I grew up, where my happiest memories were formed. To truly appreciate Malaysia, I think one should travel to other seemingly foreign and exotic locales (somewhere within Asia is enough for me), where I've had abused heaped upon me just becoz I'm different and therefore seen as inferior. Now that has never been the case in Malaysia, my home.
