A pleasant surprise!

My sexy BF gave me a wake up cum birthday call this morning at 07:00!!! I loved it! I just love hearing his voice - any time of the day. I wish he was here.. not necessarily on my birthday but every day of my life!!!

Thank you, my love for the call. I really appreciate it and it was a very pleasant surprise! Didn't expect it at all.

Thank you for your entry. I do know that you love me and I believe you... but I guess you can't blame me for having those fears? It's quite hard for me sometimes... but it doesn't mean that I don't believe you when you tell me how you feel about me. You do know that lately, it has been hard for us both with what went on...

Please bear in mind that I love you deeply.... I wouldn't want it any other way, my love!

xxxx

- Babylove

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Okay, so I don't wanna start a new entry, instead I just continue from this recent entry.

It's 20:56PM. J is busy looking through Friendster and I don't have much to do at work today. Did all the phone calls (aarrgghh - I hate making phone calls) and now, almost done with the paperwork. What next? No bloody idea.

I can't wait to go home. I have been on a long holiday and coming back to work today has been a drag!!

Dad just called and said my second brother is back from Sarawak. I don't understand that brother of mine. On the first day of Raya, heck during the entire week of Raya (usually the first day is THE day for you to ask for forgiveness) he didn't call nor text my parents to wish them. He didn't call on my father's birthday, not on mummy's birthday yesterday and certainly no calls for me either today. I really don't care about him not wishing me, really, I have given up on that but he could have called up my parents. Not on birthdays, fine but no wishes on Eid Mubarak? That is way too much. I'm the one that has to see them all sad and disappointed. He doesn't see how hurt my parents are but I do. There is so much one can take, you know.

Recently, my second brother mentioned something about furnitures to my parents. Stating that he bought them some fine furnitures - yeah okay, fine but don't think that by buying material things all are forgotten. It doesn't work that way, not in my book and most certainly not in my parents' books. It does not make things better. They'd rather have you around than those things. I would know. He hasn't seen his grand-daughter for almost 5 and half years now, meeting HER would BE THE gift! Put aside your differences for the sake of your child and her grandfather! This really pisses me off! I go home all the time and lately, this is all I hear about. I'm not angry at my parents for talking to me about this, I'm angry at my brother and wife for being such an arse about this whole issue. It's too friggin' long already - GET OVER IT!!!!!!

Seriously...

I feel like screaming right now. Or punching someone in the face!!!

I know I won't be able to sleep because I am missing him so much.

I feel so stupid right now. I don't even know why I feel stupid.

I need to vent. I really do.

Why of all the nights, the stupid colleague decided to stay late? Really... WHY?

What does the world has against me????? WHAT????

- Frustrated birthday girl

Happy Birthday to me - yeay

No words can describe how frustrated I am right now. I was so looking forward to seeing you tonight. You're right, it's not okay. I don't feel okay at all. I feel so f*cking pissed off right now. Not at you but at everything else that is against us.

I can't even type right now. I've never been this frustrated. It's my birthday and I'm frustrated. Stupid tears won't fucking stop!!!!!

Overcoming your fears !!

My babygirl - I do LOVE you.....I do care for you very much!! But to be honest....I do not think that you really believe that I do. You do not really believe me when I say these words...?
I realise what your deepest fears are my love.....I know why and I understand where they come from !! I also know that there's probably not that much I can say to take these fears away.....You, my babygirl, you alone can overcome your fears....But I want you to know that I am there for you & I am trying real hard to be there for you as much as possible!

Things might seem impossible at times, but every day, all around us, that which seemed impossible in the past, becomes a possibility! Remember this - believe in it and before we know it, our wishes for each other could come true xxx

Love u always.....Love u with all my heart xxx

Mummy's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my mummy!!

I haven't bought her prezzie yet. Will do so later when I go out for early dinner with my eldest brother and wife. Plan is for both her sons & wives to come over for dinner but El & Jules can only make it after 20:00pm. Eddie and I will be having sushi which my parents are not fans of so they won't be coming along. I guess it will only be candle lit dinner for both my parents *wink*.

I miss my baby so much! Last night was hard for me to cope. I ended up crying myself to sleep. Having my monthly sickness does not help. Emotions running wild. I don't remember being effected by it as much before this.

I don't know how to deal with missing someone this much because I haven't been in this position before. This is something new and no matter how much I try not to think about missing him or get myself busy with whatever that needs to be done at home - that all didn't work. It's him that I think about - day & night. Every second of the day, I am missing him more and more. Don't get me started on how much in love I am with him every day of the week!! If someone tells me that I dreaming all this, I'd shoot that someone. Really.

Gggrrr.... missing him sooo much and not being able to chat with him sure does not help!!!

- Babylove

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

I hope it's not too late to wish my Muslim brothers and sisters Happy Eid Mubarak!

It's almost a week now since we celebrated it and I still have the first day of Syawal fresh in my mind! The one thing that I look forward to during Syawal especially on the first day is asking for forgiveness from the elders. It will always be an emotional event for my family. Especially mummy's side!! It was rather sad for my parents and I as it is the 4th (or is it 5th??) year we celebrate Aidilfitri without my brothers and wives. Me being the single one in the family, obviously I go back to my mum's hometown with them! Not complaining - I always have a great time with my relatives.

Despite all the good times I had, I was missing him terribly. Lately, it has been crazy. Not crazy good but crazy bad! I know in any type of relationship, there will always be the up side of it and the down side. The good and the bad.. but I can't help thinking that sometimes we can avoid the down side of it. Then again, who are we kidding? I tend to piss people off when it wasn't my main intention. I think this is my PMS talking. I've just been so bloody emotional it's not even funny or cute!

I just want things to get back to normal... whatever 'normal' is!

- Babylove

A quickie

Am having a bad day.

Missing my sexylove oh soo much!

Wish I could talk to you.

I know if I did, I would feel so much better.

Thinking of you constantly...

xxx

- Babylove

High

When you're close to tears remember
Some day it'll all be over
One day 'we're gonna get so high
And though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You'll always keep me flying high in the sky of love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
'Cause even the impossible is easy
When we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at
The end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

This songs suits us. I seem to think so anyway. *smile*

Loving you more every second!! xxx

- Babylove

Sexylove!!

Just when I thought I would never find my true love, you came along. My soul has been searching for you since I came into this world. All my life I have had this emptiness inside, like a part of me was missing and I was complete... and now, I can't imagine my life without you in it...

"Tu sei una stella... la mia stella" - You are a star, my star!

Love you unconditionally... xxx

- Babylove

Waiting to Exhale..........

As I sit here, waiting for you to come back to me, I cannot stop thinking about how much you mean to me babylove......YES - I do know you love me endlessly and like I told you before.....You wouldn't want anybody else - you wouldn't want to throw what we have, away - cause WE belong together & this was meant to be xxx - Waiting to Exhale.....

Where the hell did you go buy food 'smile' - Come back to me ! I miss you so much - I need you so badly - I love you unconditionally.....I belong to you my love !
Waiting to Exhale.......

My day's are standing still without you ........Why can't we be together now.....now and forever - Please look after yourself.....look after yourself for me - for us ? I cannot see my life without you in it......
Waiting to Exhale.......

This love....

I have for you is from the bottom of my heart. Even from beneath that, if that was possible. I have never loved anyone this much and it surprises me how much my love for you grows every day still. I have so much love for you and I want you to experience it all and I want to experience the love you have for me.

The things you have shared with me will forever be with me and I shall remember every word of it. You have made me believe in love again when I thought I would never find anyone to love me for who I am. I truly love you endlessly. There is so much that I have learned from you and I know there is more I can learn from you. You're so much more than just a BF to me. You're everything.

I don't know what I have done to deserve you but if I did something, I must have done it right. As I have told you a few times, I cannot go a day without you. I can't be without you.

I can tell you this right now, my love, that I will take care of your heart as it is my own. All I ask from is for you take good care of it because I don't think my heart can take anymore heart breaks.

There is no one else I would want to share this love with, just you and only you. There is no one else out there that I want to be with but you. I can't be without you... and I know you know that.

You're mine and I am yours... xxx

- Babylove

Daddy's birthday

Yesterday was daddy's birthday. We had a get together the night before. Everyone came except Ezy and family, of course.

Food were delicious! Mummy went crazy and cooked everyone's favourite dishes. I bought some Malay 'kuih' - turned out I bought too much and added to that, El & Jules bought as well, pretty much the same stuff too! So we had a lot to eat but by the time solat Isyak came, everyone was so full to even get up!

So that was on the 22nd Sept. On dad's birthday itself - 23rd Sept. everyone came over again. This time Mas was not around as she has flew off to LA. So there were El & Jules, Ed & kids, me, my parents and Dila. I got home a little after 21:00pm and told Ed to take me to Secret Recipe to get dad a cake since everyone was around.

On the way to Secret Recipe, I was looking at the houses and I saw a naked woman walking around for that split second we passed. I blurted it out and Ed hit the brakes! Gee whizz... now I know how to get my brother's attention. All I have to do is mention I saw a naked woman! I am very sure it works with other men too. *smile*
Bro, if you're reading this - you know I was just kidding. Well, maybe not!

We got home 15 mins later. Dad was still at the mosque so we chit-chatted. Dila has grown so much! She's sooo pretty now and has a body to boot! She used to be this lanky girl and it was good to see her looking healthy and pretty. Dila has also been promoted to 'team leader' in Celebrity Fitness - good news! Apart from that, she is continuing her studies in Montessori - which is good because I wouldn't want her to work with CF for the rest of her life. She has so much more to offer and she deserves so much more. CF pays well but it's just something I don't see anyone working there long term. I worked there before and management kinda sucks. Except Mike and Duke, esp Duke since he was always watching my back (no, not my ass).

When I first saw you

When I First Saw You Lyrics

I watched 'Dreamgirls' a few months back and enjoyed the movie very much. It's the typical Hollywood feel-good movie. Very predictable as always but the singing and acting were good. Not to mention the costumes. Oh and shoes!

I particularly like the song above. When I first heard it in the movie, images of my sexy BF came to mind.

He is my dream... A dream come true that I am so blessed with!

Reading his blog below really made my day yesterday and after reading it again today, it still does the same thing to me.

I truly feel like the happiest woman on earth right now.. I tell you, I can't get rid of this smile on my face!!

You're THE one and I hope you'll always remember that! xxx

P/S: You know who 'snugglebums' is... xxxx

Opposites Attract ? or NOT ?

A few simple examples of opposites:
Tall - Short ; White - Black ; Hot - Cold ; Muslim - Christian & maybe one of the biggest opposites - MAN & WOMEN !
Yes....There is a saying that OPPOSITES ATTRACT, but honestly - do they ? I have always given this one a great deal of thought & I am not at all convinced that this is the situation in relationships especially ? I do agree that opposites will be attracted to one another for short, intense & often very physicly charged moments - maybe because of the excitement these relationships bring into our lives!

BUT......my biggest question about these opposite attractions is - Can opposites live together, be married, raise children together, etc., for the rest of their lives ? Don't we need someone - a soulmate, who is very much like us in many way's, who share the same interest's, loves the same things in general.....don't we need someone like this to be with us in a relationship or marriage ?

I honestly think this is what everybody needs.....It is surely what I need, because I can only see myself living, loving & caring for someone who is in a lot of way's like I am..'smile' And just to make this clear for everybody out there - Opposites like a guy & girl's length, their country of origin(language included), their religion's, their families, etc, etc.....these opposites makes almost no difference to anything in a relationship, except if you allow them to !!!
It's the opposites in our hearts.....the opposites in our thoughts & minds......& the huge differences we find in our souls.!!! THESE opposites make or break most relationship's....


To THE ONE that I love.......To THE ONE I feel the closest to ......To THE ONE I share one mind....one heart.....& ONE SOUL with - I LOVE U xxxxx

What a LOOOONG week-end !!!

I got to the office about 45 mins ago, after a very loooong week-end.....And it wasn't a long week-end because of a public holiday in there somewhere, but because I missed my Istella like NEVER before & I just wanted to be with her - talk to her - see her - smell her & look in her eyes to see how much she loves me!!
All of the above made this past week-end feel like an eternity !

What helped though, was to hear her voice and read all her sexy sms'e on Saturday & Sunday.....Thank you very much babes !
I spent the first 30 mins of my Monday morning reading her blog entries....her e-mails she sent me, and I loved them all - Love you Istella & I am soooo looking forward to seeing you and chatting to you later tonight! We have so much to talk about.....so, so much....xxx

Oh yes - and who's 'snugglebums' ?? mmmmmmm - are you holding out on me my love?? 'smile'

Missing you...

It's almost 02:00 and I still wide awake.

Late afternoon, I spoke to my sexy BF. As always, I enjoyed our conversation.

I read through some of our chats for the past 3 days - especially the one where he asked about the ring.

I can't believe how excited I still am.

When I read the whole part - over 4 times too - it actually made my heart beat faster... all 4 times!!

Amazing!

I am missing him so very much right now. I wish I could hit my speed dial and talk to him...

Hope he's missing me just as much...

It's a boring Sunday

I wish I could have just gone to sleep and not wake up to go to work!

I slept pretty good last night but after 'sahur', I couldn't really sleep and when my alarm went off, I didn't want to wake up!! I think I have blogged about sleeping more than actually waking up. I haven't been sleeping very well lately so don't blame me for wanting to sleep more!!

Work has been hectic of late due to PMR and SPM exams coming up. We're preparing for their seminars, PMR - coming weekend and SPM seminar on the 6th of October. I don't think things will slow down anytime soon. I can't wait for Eid Fitri as that would be the only break we have for this 2 months! Yeah, we can't take any leave for the month of September and October.

Come October would be my one year anniversary with my company as a full time staff. Come October 19th, I'll be 27! This year, my birthday falls on the 7th day of Syawal. For the past few years, it fell during Ramadhan. It's a good thing but some of my friends complaint that they won't be able to 'party' due to Ramadhan. Funny thing is that, it's my birthday and they are the ones that complain. I'm pretty much content with just spending it with my family. Of course I would love to spend it with my amazing BF as well but he lives thousands of miles away so spending it with him would be impossible. *smile*

I have about another 4 and half hours to go before I could go 'break' fast with Iza. We won't be able to 'break' fast with our families because by the time we finish work, it would have passed 'breaking' fast time. So today, we both decided to have either Kenny Rogers or Thai Express - I love this Thai restaurant. It serves the best 'Pad Thai'! Very spicy and the taste is just perfect! Okay, I'm definitely going to stop talking about food now!!

My sexy BF just texted me! Hopefully, we will be able to talk soon! Missing him like crazy!!

Lord (Lady, in my case?) of the Ring!

Today would be the third day I'm wearing this ring on my 'ring' finger.

The ring symbolizes the love that we share together, how we feel about one another and it also shows that I am willing to share my feelings for him with everyone around me. I would so very much want everyone to know that I am with someone so amazing. Someone that makes me happy more than ever before!

The ring is platinum with a stone in between two bands. It looks as if two hands holding a stone - my interpretation (as I told my sexy man and others) is two people (obviously me and my BF) holding a heart they share together. Corny, I know but so what? It's my ring!!!! It's simple, really but I love it. It's beautiful to me and what it means that matters the most to me.

I cannot help staring at it from time to time. I love it how my friends notice it on my finger. *smile*. It really is perfect. I love my BF for all of this and so much more.

During one of our conversations, he said I should probably wear one ring on each finger so that people would stay away (something along those lines)... lol - so yeah, that would make me the Lord of the Rings, now wouldn't it??

Right now, he's busy playing golf and I am missing him so much! I hope he'd hurry up and finish the game so we could talk!

*looking at the ring....* Love it, love it, love it!!!!

Hooked on you, snugglebums *smile*

There's No One but YOU, sexy BF!

- Alicia Keys Lyrics

Yes you are! And you're everything... yes, a HUGE responsibility!!

Everything Lyrics

Well, my dear sexy BF... Thought I'd surprise you with this. I hope you like it? Thank you again for taking my headache away *smile*. Thank you for everything... every single thing. Thank you for making me the happiest woman in Malaysia, if not on earth!!! *smile*.

Crazy about you..!!