Song

Artist : James Morrison
Album : Undiscovered
Title : You Give Me Something

you only stay with me in the morning
you only hold me when i sleep
i was meant to tread the water
but now i've gotten in too deep

for every piece of me that wants you
another piece backs away
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart

you only waited up for hours
just to spend a little time alone with me
and i can say i've never bought you flowers
i can't work out what they mean
i never thought that i'd love someone
that was someone else's dream

you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might call you from my heart
but it might be a second too late
and the words that i could never say
are gonna come out anyway

you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
you give me something
that makes me scared alright
this could be nothing but i'm willing to give it a try
please give me something
because someday i might know my heart

know my heart, know my heart, know my heart


This song has left a huge impact on me. I can just relate to this song in so many ways. I'm hooked on it. Seriously... I'm HOOKED on it!!!

I couldn't sleep last night. I was feeling restless... and sad. There are just so many things on my mind but I just can't seem to let it all out. I don't know why... but I just can't.

In fact, I don't even have anything much to say here. It's a bright day today... but somehow, it's rather dark for me...

Boring day for me...

It has been a very unproductive day for me. I came to work at 11.30am. Woke up quite early actually, that's good. Wish I had my gym bag with me so that I can get some work out done today but I forgot to prepare my stuff, night before and didn't have time to do so just now.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed I looked like I have been crying non-stop last night. I hate this. I hate looking like this. People are really gonna think that I've been crying, in fact - I had a stranger came up to me and asked if everything is alright - lady, yes... everything is perfectly fine, thank you for asking. I think I'm going through one of those days... yes - PMS.

Not really in a good mood... I hate this! Really, I do. No kidding.

Beta version? hmmm..

Okay I don't know what's with this Beta version. I specifically clicked on the 'NO' button but it decided to proceed with the Beta version anyway! I hate Beta... okay, maybe because this pc seems to be a little slow, I guess that's why I find Beta not that user-friendly - yes, I know you people think Beta is much better but it's my blog and I have the right to say whatever I want here - okay, so out of the context and I seriously have forgotten what I was getting at... This happens when I drink too much coffee in the afternoon and am hungry too.

Note to self : No more coffee for today!

My niecey's concert is tomorrow, so am off from work. Yeay! I can't wait because I have not spent quality time with the whole family lately due to my busy schedule. Am really looking forward to tomorrow. Wafi - that's my niece - she's 4 and soooooo cute! Gorgeous babe is more like it! She's been showing off her dancing skills to me - she asked if I could dance, hell yes I can! I actually think she's very talented. Good actor too! LOL. Am thinking of compiling a comp card of her and send them to all the talent agencies. Yes, am very proud of her.

Work has been rather... hectic and unorganised. I don't know how many times have I actually organised, well, all of us actually and still there is always something that is left undone. Come 26th Dec, I will be transfered to the new centre. I'm quite excited about it but also, a little sad. I won't be working with the same people and I realised that I am already missing half the people I know here - students included. I guess I will have to adapt to the changes and I always do so shouldn't be a problem... right??

Anyway, it feels good when you have someone to think about... always...

Have a great weekend, everyone!

blerh

It's been a tiring week. I haven't been getting enough sleep so that makes me a lil mean towards everyone. I am still coughing so that makes it a week now. On top of my having a cough, I now have a cold as well. Great. Woohoo.

Work has been a lil stressful. Something happened at work and it has totally changed my perception of the person involved. You'd think that you know that person so well... and bam! It hit you that you don't really know that person after all. I hate when that happens. It just gives you a whole different look on everything and everyone. It really hurts to have gotten to know what he did. Not only that, I am very disappointed with him. Very. I can't even explain or describe how disapppointed I am. I have to get up every day, get ready to work and face him and act as if I have no idea what's going on. I have to talk to him as I always do... I think as a friend, he's a nice person but I don't think I can face him... or even look at him the same way.. ever again.

It's just one of those days where I need to let it out...

The Day After...

It was a very exhausting day yesterday. I got up at 7am, got ready to work and arrived an hour later. The first to arrived. I have totally forgotten about the BM Perdana seminar so I was looking forward to be going home around 1630... alas! I got home only about 15mins before 2100. So I was at work for about 11 hrs yesterday... friggin' tired!!!

Today, it's a pretty slow day at work. I can't wait to go home and get some sleep!

It's a sunny day... wish I was on somewhere in Langkawi, at the beach. With my suntan lotion, mocktail and sunglasses. Just lying on the beach... listening to my music collection on my Sony mp3. Sigh... I'm in need of a break!! I can't wait for Dec to come... hurry up, December!!!

Okay, I have issues to resolve now. Parents to attend to... an angry aunt of a student who's pissed off because her niece is an ignorant lil... (I shall not continue) well, so is the aunt! Anyway, bloggers... have a great day!

Anticipation

Sigh...

Another day, another problem...

I can handle it. Yup, I can!! (Keep repeating that to urself if u ever come across a problem and it really works! - yeah ryte!!).

The problem is nothing compared to what I'm going thru in my personal life. Work related problems are the easiest to overcome simply because - it's either a problem u face every other day or the computer's being an arse... so yeah, that makes it easy to rectify.

As for my personal life... well.. that's another story.

Which I am not about to get into... at the moment.

I've been having chest pains for the past few weeks. Lately, it's getting worst.. I haven't had a good sleep for the past few nights because of it. Going to the doctor is something quite routine for me. I hate depending on pills... not that I am addicted to them but it's more about my ego. I feel like I'm a freaking superhuman who does not need any kind of supplements padahal I do need them.. hehe.. not making sense, I know.

Look I'm bored and I've finished up what's need to be done here... hence the ramblings!!

Oooh... I heard so much about 'Prestige' and I am dying to go catch it...

Anyone? ;)

At last, a new entry...

First of all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all Muslims... Hope it has been a great one this year for everyone else as it's been one for me and my family.

So it has been a year since I last blogged. Again, my excuse is still the same. I've been swamped with work and family matters. I'm always busy, yes.. I really am.

This year, my parents and I went back to Penang to celebrate Aidilfitri with my grandmother and mum's sibs. It was a great one this year. Had loads of fun and somehow, it's a lil different this year compared to last couple of years. Last year, we celebrated in KL and it was rather dull. There's no life in KL during festive season so it's really quiet and boring.

Usually on the first day of Aidilfitri, after salam Raya with family members and relatives and makan, my bros and I would head to the room and sleep. Yes... we sleep on the first day of Raya.. almost the whole day! This year, my bros went back to their wives' hometowns to celebrate so there's only me in Penang.. and no, I didn't sleep. Okay, I might have lied there.. I did sleep but only for about an hr or 2. My cousin has taken over the reign, he slept from 11am till 8pm!! I'm not kidding! He must have been effing tired or just plain effing sleepy!

One of the things that made Raya this year fun was the part where all of us - my mum, my aunts, my female cousins and nieces slept in one room! All the men in the family slept downstairs in the family hall. The ladies were making jokes and talking about the past. It was fun listening to my mum and aunts telling us, kids about their ex-bfs and stuff.. LOL.

It was a fantastic Raya and I'm really looking forward to next year. In fact, it was so much fun that we planned to have a family gathering for Hari Raya Aidiladha. Can't wait for that!!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Busy preparing for Aidilfitri. I'll be heading to Muar on 2nd Hari Raya to visit Kak Jules' side. Can't wait. Can't remember the last time I was in Johor.

I blogged earlier but the PC crashed so everything I wrote is a gone now.. hate when that happens!!

I'm off now.. will write later.. maybe.. just maybe.... =)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all u ppl out there..

If I have said or done any thing wrong to u.. pls forgive me... Maaf Zahir & Batin..

Have a great one this year...

Love always...

Malaysia

Malaysia was once in my eyes, the safest place on earth. Far away from the thugs and serial killers out in the West, our country was seemingly a refugee away from what was bad and tragic. Sure, we fought Japanese during the Second Wolrd War and had had an ongoing battle against British occupation since the 18th century, as well as the Portuguese in the 16th century. Yet, there weren't tales of massacre, of power mad leaders and vengeful murderers. There wasn't the extreme racism once practised in South Africa or even in the US!

Malaysia was a refuge from all that was wrong in this world. The ppl were frenly, tolerant and caring - hey, even the tourist brochures said so! The Asian culture of caring for ur neighbour and being hospitable to him/her was one ingrained into my upbringing. Life was good, idyllic and peaceful.Of late tho, I've been made to look twice at this refure I once considered home - the reports of thotless murders and brutal rape (incest included) that have recently made headlines also make me wonder: if u can't consider ur own home safe, where can u go? Sure, the senseless and tragic murder of Canny Ong or Norrita Samsuddin (if she were murdered) were catalysts to my traing of thot but those fears stemmed way back, when increasingly, murder without motive, and rape, not just of young women but those who were old, handicapped and pregnant (not to mention, children) appeared more and more frequently in the papers.

When after reading headline after disturbing headline in the local papers, I thot to myself.. what is the world coming to?? Even closer to home, what is the state (ormore accurately, the state of mind) of our country coming to? There was once a time in our past when locals helped needy strangers and even invited them into their homes. Now, such an act would be thot of as gross stupidity. These days, if a stranger begs for help outside ur home, u shut him/her out; if u see a man/woman bleeding in ur path, u close ur eyes and move on. Onlookers would call u heartless but with so many tales of conmen disguising as needy, hapless strangers who then take advantage of the situation, how can one be sure anymore?

Now, the Malaysian society is so much more guarded - has had to be so much more guarded - thanks to the sorry result of cause and effect. To be fair, the rising crime rate isn't just a calamity suffered by those in our country. It's a worldwide problem caused, many believe, by the degradation of morals and the promotion of modern ideals e.g materialism, pressure to succeed, emphasis on peers and standing, rather than family.

Comparatively, our country's still a relatively safe place: open riots are an extreme rarity and democracy of thot within reason is still allowed. They say the grass always looks greener on the other side and it's true. Yes, Malaysia's not as safe as it once was but so are most parts of the world. Whatever it is, it's still home to me, becoz it's where I grew up, where my happiest memories were formed. To truly appreciate Malaysia, I think one should travel to other seemingly foreign and exotic locales (somewhere within Asia is enough for me), where I've had abused heaped upon me just becoz I'm different and therefore seen as inferior. Now that has never been the case in Malaysia, my home.

It's all good

I went to CF to return my uniforms. RT was there and I stayed for about half an hr there. My ex-colleagues said I have helped quite a bit by complaining to the HR about the services. I was surprised to know that the very next day, HR manager held a meeting with RT and screwed the Operations Manager. Would love to see the look on her face..

My brother has a blog of his own. I remembered the first time I told him about my blog. He actually said it was crap and a waste of time. Yeah. Look who has one now. It's the same guy who said he doesn't wanna get married and now.. he's happily married. It's all good.

I got an offer to work as an AE with a very well known advertising company. First of all, I don't have any experience as an AE although the person who offered me the job says training will be provided.Other than that, I do have other concerns. Maybe I'll talk to one of my bros about it.

CF

080905

I've resigned from CF. Had the longest exit interview ever! Just when I thot it was over, she asked me more and more about the company. Long story short, I got out of it just fine. Altho I did bitch about the other department, which is really worth bitching about bcoz they bloody treat us consultants like retards. What the fuck is that all about? Was it really necessary for u (i'm imagining myself pointing my finger to the person from the other department whilst saying this) to call us STUPID? U claim u don't have to exercise coz ur body fat % is low? Woman.. will u take a fucking good look at urself in the mirror? U're freaking flabby... yeah, I have the rights to say all this coz I do exercise.. and I don't call ppl stupid for making a small mistake. Everyone makes a mistake, even she does it too... A whole lot of times, mind u. Mann.. feels good to let it out!

it's me

A couple of nights ago, mlm Jumaat to be exact... I couldn't sleep. Had teh o ais limau with Mokh earlier that evening. Teh mamak always leaves me wide awake. God knows why. So there I was on my bed, tossing and turning when I heard something hit against my window. I was dozing off at the time I heard it. Well, almost dozing off. I ignored the sound and closed my eyes tightly. Takut lah u know. Again I heard the stupid sound and this time, it came with a whistling of somewhat sound. And what did I do? I just had to look at the window.. (curiosity killed the cat).. ta-daaaa.. I saw something floating! Fuck man!!! I scrambled out of bed, my blanket flying above me.. tunggang terbalik (can't believe i actually know this word!) kinda thing and ran to my parents' room. Yeah yeah.. I slept with them for that nyte.. so what? Shoot me!

I was sick for almost a wk. Actually it exceeded a wk. Got a lil wee bit worried so went to see the doctor. "Oh no worries.. u're just having a flu. Take this 2 times a wk and u'll be fine in no time". Yeah ryte. 3 days later, I was still freaking sick. Went to see the same doctor, again.. (my mistake) and gave me more pills (wwwwoooohhhhhoooooo!!! =P) and went home, slept like there's no tomorrow. 2 days later, went to work.. and still feeling dizzy, decided to go home. Later that week, went to see another doctor. He's actually the doctor I used to go to when I was staying in KJ. Last time I checked, I was there... 3 yrs ago!! They still have my record and yeayyy.. he remembers me. Who wouldn't? Hahaha. Anyway, after several times of checking my blood pressure and stuff.... he told me the news...

To be continued... =)

You & Me

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why,
I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Happy Day

I woke up late today. Supposed to be at work at 10am.. but arrived at 10.30am. The jam was really bad even at 10am.. bummer.

I have a lot to write about but don't have the time. Not just yet. Gotta clarify a lot of things before I can actually write about it. Woudn't wanna get all confused at the end of the day. A few of my frens have noticed that I havent' been myself lately. Especially my close frens. I haven't had the time to catch up with them and honestly, I feel so malas.

Anyway, I miss you a lot. Hope u're having a good rest.. ;)

Hello ppl!!!

Yes! Finally! An update!!!! Hehehe. I know i know.. it's been a while. *A while? It's been more than 'a while', u frreeaaakk!!!* <-- This is what most of my loyal readers would say.. hehe.. ryte? Anyway, can't write a long one.. yeah.. my fav line! Rangga is here!!!! Yyeeaaayyy!!! Can't believe my good fren from Jakarta is finally here on a vacation! Yess..!

I'm suppose to bring him around but with work and all, I won't be able to do so .. so.. I'm sooo sorry, Rangga! I'll make it up to u.. on our birthday? Hehe.. he's laughing beside me. Hehe.

Well, I gotta go now.

Oohh.. btw, I just got to know someone new. ;) I'm simply smitten by him... :))

Will write more on that.. later perhaps..

Take care peeps.. and sorry again for not updating my blog!

Cheers!

My birthday

It makes me happy when the unexpected wishes me on my birthday. I'm a yr older.. yesterday that is. I don't mind being older.. hehe.. at least I don't look my age.. I don't look a day over 18! Hehehe...

Got a new cellphone. I love my new sexy phone!

U know.. sometimes when u're in love... everything just seems insignificant? Thing is , I'm not in love. Haha. Don't think I'll ever be. Just don't have the time (yeah ryte!).

Anyway, my b'day totally sucked.. with a capital S. It didn't help that it fell during Ramadhan. Arrghh.. I have so many things I wanna let out here but words just don't come out ryte when I'm in front of the freaking PC. Rangga, why can't u be here in Malaysia??? Hehehe... hey, next yr.. our bdays.. don't u forget!!! Singapore... here we come!!! Hehehe... yeah, let's just hope we both can get a couple of days off... oooh.. why don't we go to London? Visit ur other half? Maybe she can introduce some hot-bods there... sigh... if only... hehehe.

I hope things will work out... soon...

wicker park

I watched Wicker Park for the second time a couple of days ago. I enjoyed it very much the first time and still did the second time around. It's a totally wicked movie. That woman is a psycho!!! Hahaha.. damnnn... I love that movie... and I think Usual Suspects is one of the best movies around too.

I watched Bourne Supremacy and Dodgeball (yes, both of the same day!) with Amir.. I enjoyed both movies and the company. Of course. Next movie to catch.. Sky Captain. Heard it's a superb production. Can't wait.

Ramadhan is approaching. Am I looking forward to it? Yeah but Aidilfitri? Not really. I dunno.. it's just not as fun as it used to be. Must be the age thing... which reminds me.. I'll be a yr older in 6 days!!! Yeay!

I just hate this feeling I have.. I just wish it will go away. It's not like we went out a lot of times.. it was just that one time.. well, 2 actually but I just love his company and the thing is, he seems interested but he's so freaking busy and I just don't know how to deal with that. It's so frustrating. He did say that it was very hard for his ex to understand that and he needs someone that can.. and I dunno if I can, IF we end up together.. not that I want to. I mean.. I have excess baggage with me and that is always not good. I can't actually say I love him bcoz I don't. I do like him very much but that's just it.. we don't have the opportunity to go out often to actually start something. Plus, I still love Amir.. I mean.. I was with him for 2 yrs and he didn't do anything wrong and when I say love... it's more of how an ex feels for the ex... okay, not making much sense here.. forget it! It's so freaking cold here, my fingers are freezing and I can't even type properly and my brain is not functioning well.. hehe.. has it always been?

Hawaii

Arrghhh!! I can't wait to go to Hawaii to visit Sam!!! Sam! Quick.. save up, honeylove!! I'm spending 2 weeks there!! Haahaha..

Today, I'm hanging out with Dila. Hehe.. yeah, being a good foster sister here.. ryteee....

Sam a.k.a Bonnie.. miss ya babe!! Btw, this super foxy lady is so FOXY and HOT!

I seriously have nothing brilliant to say.. becoz I'm high.. had 2 cans of Coke.. hahahaa.. wwoohoo! Later...

heylow

Just another boring Saturday.

Watched 'Princess Diaries 2' last Friday. It was good.. not bad.

Am thinking of watching 'Aliens Vs. Predator' on Monday.. see how things go..

Later..

finally!

I know i know.. I haven't been updating. I am very well aware of that. Things are really picking up for me. Work has kept me busy and I kinda like the situation now although I wish I would be more busy than ever. Why? Ppl are constantly (my frens, that is) complaining that they don't have enough time to watch a movie, go out and have drinks or just sit on the couch and catch up on TV programmes... and here I am, having a job that doesn't require me to be on my toes 24/7 and AM complaining about not being busy enough.. I love my job, no doubt there but the reason why I wanna be more busy is probably becoz I don't have to think about one stupid problem that is/has been on my mind since May and now, to top that... I am kinda thinking about someone.. and hello, I sooo don't wanna be thinking about him becoz it won't get me anywhere. Numsayin? No, u don't. Anyway, my line of job, gives me perfect freedom.. I get to arrange appts according to my liking and i can even choose to work on weekends.. or not.. see.. I love my job but.. sigh.. human beings are never satisfied are they?

I have a BBQ to go to this Saturday. It's Tina's birthday (which actually falls on the 21st Sept.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) and I haven't decided who to go with (ckp mcm bagus.. like a lot of guys I can choose to go with!!).

I got to know this really phat gal from Canada, her name is Sam. She's super cool. It's great to know that someone who is thousands and thousands of miles away is always there to hear u rant about anything and everything. Yeah, I know I am always ranting here (when I have the time) but it's different when u have someone u can talk to.. in our case, email. She's moving to Hawaii (am praying she gets to.. SOON!) and I'm gonna make sure I get my sweet-ass (hahaha) there as soon as I can. Funny thing is, our friendship started with a testimonial she wrote for me in Hi5.. which, we do not know any shit about each other at all.. and me being me, decided to reply the testimonial and boom! We formed a beautiful friendship.. trust me, I'm sure (very sure) she feels the same way! Hahah..

Well, I think that's about it. I gotta email Sam back now. Will write more... some other day?