Good day!

I haven't been much of a blogger lately. Don't really have anything to write about except the usual boring stuff I do at home and work. Not that it isn't interesting. It isn't actually but somehow there are ppl out there who'd love to know. LOL. I'm so full of myself. Hehehe. No, I'm not but I am a pain in the ass.. no.. not really.

I had a good day, actually I had a great day last Saturday. :)

After almost one year (maybe less..) of not beeing able to hang out with Lynne, I finally  got the chance to hang out with her today. K and Lynne picked me up and hung out at home for a bit then headed to OU coz I was craving for waffles on a stick and Teppanyaki so we had exactly that and in that order!. Wooohhoo!! I'm so full! I had a good time. It is sooo great to see them both and Lynne and I sang in the car. Hehe. We haven't done that for such a long time. I missed the time when I performed in front of hundreds of ppl with Lynne.. and another gal, which I can't remember (actually trying to forget her!). 

I saw this really gorgeous pair of earrings the last time I went to OU and decided to get them but when we decided to make a move, it was almost closing time so I didn't get them. Bummer! Oh well, I'd probably go there again one of these days.. maybe 2mrw.. hehe.. so will probably get them then.

Something's really bugging me lately. I don't even know how to put it in words or I think it's more of the fact that I don't even think it's worth thinking about... err.. yeah, I think that it is. Or is it not?? Think I'm gonna go think about the whole thing.. again.. and see if it's worth puring it out here. Okie dokie. Time to go. Need to get some work done! Later...

Bonnie, thanks for dropping by. You're such a sweetheart!

Trying it out

OH GOD!! This is sooo frustrating! I wrote a long entry and my stupid PC had to crash! &*^%$%*%*^*&(*$#!!! Okay, that's me.. cursing!

Arrghh!! I have no time, it's more of.. I HAVE NO FREAKING MOOD to re-write my entry. I just have to say this tho.. I had a great surprise yesterday and it was really sweet of Amir. :)

On a more serious note, (read: work) I have to scout for singers. Not well-known-I'm-a-DIVA kinda singer but underground or those who can sing but hasn't gotten a record deal. No, I'm not offering a recording contract but one of my clients want someone to sing at her wedding. So, whoever is reading this, email me if u're interested. No bands. Only solo singers. Preferably those into R&B. Guys are welcomed. ;) LOL. She's paying good money so brush on ur vocals, ppl!!

An Outing

I met up with Amir yesterday. Nick was suppose to meet up with us to get him a cellphone. But he had a last minute meeting so we waited just in case he finished early but alas, he didn't. So Amir was stuck with me. We hung out at CB, it was almost 6 or so when we decided to make a move. Decided to check out Ninie at Be Elementz, coincidently she was about to go for her break so Amir and I accompanied her. Left OU around 7pm.

It was good to see him. Good looking as usual. Hair's long. Hehe. He wore this white nehru shirt. Sigh. So comel. He looks really good. I'm sure in no time, he'll find someone new. Yeah.. gals were so checking him out!!

Anyway, Nick hasn't called. Amir and I are hoping that he'll get himself a bloody cellphone so we both can check on him now and then or whenever we want to. He's pretty upset with the whole craziness that is going on but frankly speaking, I think it's for the best. He should really take a long break and re-think about the whole situation. Why do I say that? Becoz he totally jumped into the whole engagement thing.. he was seeing someone else before that and all of a sudden, he wants to get engage to another gal? Now he's all messed up and I don't like the way he's handling his problems. Amir would probably agree on this. I know he needs someone to talk to ryte now but that's the thing, he doesn't call. We can't get hold of him. I'm pretty worried..

Not Today

I don't think I have much to say at the moment. Am trying to figureout image hosting, bla bla bla.. Will write later..

Dwelling

Everything begins win ur mind : how u see urself, how u see others and how u see life. One does not eliminate problems and obstacles just by thinking about it. Ur ability to master ur life depends very much upon ur mindset and attitudes.

Everyone wants change for the better : invariabll, we voice out concern about a better job, a better life, environmental degradation, overpopulation, political instability, crime and so on. But these are the consequences and not the cause, the manisfestations, not the malady. When things are not the way they should be, human beings become insecure. In order to survive, everybody tries to secure their position and in the process, most of them compromise their ideals and values. Instead of tapping into our inner resources of spiritual power, we easily succumb to the escape routes and momentary solutions that we had been using before - we blame or point at something or somebody out there. And sadly the obstacles in our way will never be overcome, becoz we are constantly dwelling on hatred and self-loathing.

I didn't know that..

Shaking ur head from side to side means "no" in most countries but "yes" in Bulgaria and Sri Lanka.

In South America, Southern Europe, and many Arab countries, touching another person is a sign of warmth and frenship. In the Orient, it is considered an invasian of privacy.

In Norway or Malaysia, it's rude to leave something on ur plate when eating (really??); in Egypt, it's rude not to leave something on ur plate.

A door-to-door salesperson might find it tough going to Italy, where it is improper for a man to call on a woman if she's home alone.

Never and Always

I don't even know what's going on now. I'm so confused. I want my name to be cleared up but can it really be? I don't feel like doing anything. Blogging, outings, eat, sleep.. I watch TV but my mind is elsewhere. Everyone seems to have a good day everyday.. but me? I'm left with my own thots about everything that's happening. Yeah, don't think about it, u say? It's easier said than done. I dunno.. I'm so clueless.

When ppl see me in a negative way, or misjudge or listen to the other side of the story but not mine, I never win. Never. I'm always the one they leave behind. Always.

Just So Wrong

Everything is so wrong. Ppl misjudging me. Work is screwed up. Too much for me to handle.
It's funny how someone can change their minds of u just because they misunderstood things. Maybe it is my fault. I think it is. It's always and always will be my fault!

Tired.. Sleepy.. Cranky....

I brought Dila to the Cheer 2004. It was great. I have to say, better than last year. The crowd was fantastic! The participants? They were awesome. Except from a couple of skools. I won't mention the name of this paricular skool, but the cheers and routines were pretty funny. I have respect for them tho, they had the guts to enter the competition. Amir's ex-gf's skool was one of the participants. They were.. not bad. It was funny to see their faces when they didn't win first place becoz before my cousin's skool performed, semua mcm bagus!! Sri Bintang Utara, my cousin was from that skool and last year, she was one of the cheerleaders, altho I'm not quite sure if I got the name of the skool right but their performance was AWESOME! They rocked the stadium with their slick and well choreographed. Assunta's Phoenix was good. They were impressive but towards the end of their cheer, one or two of them fell... too bad. I think they were pretty great. The event started at 9am but we went around 11-ish, so we missed few of the performances, one of them, the Vulcanz boys team. Seafield Sec. Skool. Yeap, boys team.. hey, they were awesome man! They won the Best Newcomer title. Phat! I really liked their steps. Not bad for a newcomer. Too bad they're not that cute.. okay, well, I didn't really take a good look at them but I guess some of them are but I can't be bothered. They're younger than I am. I met Aznee (Ninie) there. We were walking towards the main entrance to wait for my bro, and I heard someone called out my name. I was so afraid to look up coz I was so not in the mood to bump or meet anyone but I had to.. so yeah, it was Ninie.. hehe.. tapi it was so good to see her. She's sooo cute!!! If only I had a younger bro aged between 20 to 22, I would have introduced her to him. Sigh. Promised her that I'd have coffee with her one of these days. Yeah, haven't had that in a while with a gf so I might make some time for her real soon.

Rangga said I haven't been myself lately. I think so too but I seriously don't know what's bothering me... I'm pretty messed up ryte now. I don't even feel like writing much today.

Abg El will be leaving for Dubai on the 3rd July for a week. But if everything goes well, he'll be going for good a month after he comes back. I don't know how would I end up not having him around...

Restless Day

I don't feel good. I don't know. Maybe it's just me but I just don't feel good about today.

Anyway, promised Dila I'd take her to Cheer 2004 tomorrow at Bkt. Jalil. Some of my juniors called this morning and wanted to know if I'll be there. Yeap, definitely. Can;t wait to catch up with them..

Will write more later. Gotta cook lunch today.. hehe.

She Came and She Left

I can't write in details ryte now what happened a couple of hours ago. I've never in my life been so afraid. I can't take this anymore. I know this sounds weird but believe me, if u know the whole story.. it isn't. Not at all. I think twice is enough for it to happen to me..

Psychoanalytic Psychology

Sigmund Freud put the European scientific world in an uproar with his unorthodox views of human behaviour. Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, not only suggested that much of human behaviour is the result of thots, fears, and wishes, he also suggested that ppl are often unaware of these motivating forces eventho they have a strong effect on their behaviour. Freud argued that many, if not most, of these thots and wishes result from our experiences during infancy and early childhood. The greatest outcry of criticism came when he suggested that infants have sexual fantasies about their parents. Freud's ideas had a tremendous influence on psychology. Because of his early work was aimed at explaining emotional disorders, psychoanalytic theory has played a central role in understanding and treating psychological disorders.

I know some ppl wish they're Einstein.. I wish I was Freud.

This is MY Stitch! 

Superman & Wonder Woman

Amir was online this afternoon and so was Nick. Two days in a row... a coincidence? Maybe. The last time I sms-ed Amir, I was a bit harsh and he ignored me eversince, I figured he must be bloody pissed off at me so I didn't message him online. I didn't expect him to say hi but he did! The conversation was normal but good. At one point the conversation was pretty hilarious becoz we started talking about superheroes outfits. When I was small, daddy dearest bought me a WonderWoman outfit. Amir had a Superman outfit. He still has it!! ::LOL:: I don't know about mine.. I gotta ask mum about it. Oh yeah, I have to look for my cheerleading oufit as well. ::LOL:: I think today was the first time (in the past few months) I laughed so hard. I wanted to tell him that I miss him but I refrained myself from saying so. Don't wanna embarass myself. I'm pretty sure he doesn't miss me.

I'm such a klutz lately. I bumped my knee the other day. Today, I was in a hurry, langgar the desk and now I have a bruise on my left hip! I bruise so easily lately. Sakit gile!! I didn't tell mum about it. Hehehe. She asked me to put minyak apa ntah on my knee but I didn't bother... so can't complain if sakit!

I've been on the Net a lot lately. What am I doing? Surfing on movies and actors. Hehe. Think I should get some DVDs and watch the actors. Assimilate myself with the art of acting. ::LOL::

Of late, I have been an influence of ppl. A good influence I must say. Some of my frens have started their own blogs after reading mine. It makes me happy when someone says "Hey, I have a blog of my own! And u had something to do with my starting one!". It's a wonderful feeling. It's no biggie but really, it's always the small things that give me the tingle! Just like when he says.. hi to me online. Hehe. Pathetic I know. Zip it!!

Must be...

He's online. Still. Must be busy coz his status said so. Must be doing work. I wanted to say hi... but I dunno. I know I know... I should have just but well.. nvm.

Nick's online too. So sibuk! Can't stop talking about his fiancee. ;) Kidding. Yeah, I miss him.. why u too, Nick? ;)

Busy?

He's online. :)

I'm bored. :(

Bruised Knee

I have this ugly bruise on my left knee. It's purple! A lil greenish and purplish. I hit the comp table a few days back.. and it's still painful. *Pressing the bruise with my forefinger* OUUUCCCHHH!!!

It hurts. So now, not only is my heart bruised.. so is my knee.

Hiding Behind A Smile

I woke up feeling miserable. It finally dawned upon me that I'm unhappy. I know for a fact that I am not happy lately and I'm pretty much depressed but in front of my family members and frens, I act as if nothing can ruin my day. On the facade, ppl might think I have it all. I'm contented and that all they can see when they look at me is my smiling face. The truth is... I hide myself behind those smiles I give ppl. Call me a hypocrite or whatever you want but yes, that's me ryte now. I just feel so lost and unwanted. No one, I repeat no one knows how I truly feel inside. No one knows what's going thru my mind. I appreciate all my frens who spent time with me... accompanying me when I needed to be around ppl to get things off my mimd but when I go home, I feel so alone. I guess I should be greatful with the job I have. It gets me going. It doesn't help that the job I have right now usually requires me to be around couples which is something I do not want. But a job is a job and I should be professional. I hate it when ppl say that I'll get over this. Truth of the matter is, I never will. I'm sure Farrah will never get over the break-up. Same here with me. There may be someone out there for me but it' up to me to want him or not. When the time comes, maybe I will but it's not going to be easy. Not for him. I don't think it's fair to date someone if you're still in love with someone else. Regardless whether that person feels or doesn't feel the same. I'm pretty much a straight forward kinda person. I don't love you.. I don't want you. If I love a man and he doesn't love me... fine, I'll leave you alone. I'm not gonna force him to love me but I'll keep on loving him bcoz I know whether he's worth my time or not. I seriously don't care if I meet or don't meet anyone. They say time will heal... well, it does but in my case, it's gonna take a long time. Even the wounds I had from the past hasn't healed.

I reached for the phone... pressed 2 but I didn't let it ring... I just couldn't. I wanted to let it ring.. and hear him say hello... but...

BMW - The Ultimate Driving Machine

I love BMW! I do! I really do! I wish I could marry a BMW but of coz it's a machine and that's quite impossible but I would seriously consider marrying someone who would either get me the 330ci or BMW 6series.. or both! Kidding! Arrgghh! They're so gorgeous!

The 6 series coupe.. if you see one in black.. you'd probably faint! I know I will! Not to mention the convertible! Sighhhh. The fuel consumption is pretty alryte with me and as for the performance.. if a car looks that good, I don't bloody care about the performance! BMW is just like what the caption says.. sheer driving pleasure... and me being a woman I don't care as long as it's BMW! Arrrghh!!! BMW.. maannnnn..... I can get seriously high just thinking about BMW cars! For a 'small' manufacturer BMW is on both a design and product roll. Altho now most of the products are designed by Americans. The new range of the 7 series are okay.. but I really love the old 7 series.

Sigh... I really gotta work hard if I want BMW 645i convertible!

My 2nd Ultimate Dream Car!!