My birthday

It makes me happy when the unexpected wishes me on my birthday. I'm a yr older.. yesterday that is. I don't mind being older.. hehe.. at least I don't look my age.. I don't look a day over 18! Hehehe...

Got a new cellphone. I love my new sexy phone!

U know.. sometimes when u're in love... everything just seems insignificant? Thing is , I'm not in love. Haha. Don't think I'll ever be. Just don't have the time (yeah ryte!).

Anyway, my b'day totally sucked.. with a capital S. It didn't help that it fell during Ramadhan. Arrghh.. I have so many things I wanna let out here but words just don't come out ryte when I'm in front of the freaking PC. Rangga, why can't u be here in Malaysia??? Hehehe... hey, next yr.. our bdays.. don't u forget!!! Singapore... here we come!!! Hehehe... yeah, let's just hope we both can get a couple of days off... oooh.. why don't we go to London? Visit ur other half? Maybe she can introduce some hot-bods there... sigh... if only... hehehe.

I hope things will work out... soon...

wicker park

I watched Wicker Park for the second time a couple of days ago. I enjoyed it very much the first time and still did the second time around. It's a totally wicked movie. That woman is a psycho!!! Hahaha.. damnnn... I love that movie... and I think Usual Suspects is one of the best movies around too.

I watched Bourne Supremacy and Dodgeball (yes, both of the same day!) with Amir.. I enjoyed both movies and the company. Of course. Next movie to catch.. Sky Captain. Heard it's a superb production. Can't wait.

Ramadhan is approaching. Am I looking forward to it? Yeah but Aidilfitri? Not really. I dunno.. it's just not as fun as it used to be. Must be the age thing... which reminds me.. I'll be a yr older in 6 days!!! Yeay!

I just hate this feeling I have.. I just wish it will go away. It's not like we went out a lot of times.. it was just that one time.. well, 2 actually but I just love his company and the thing is, he seems interested but he's so freaking busy and I just don't know how to deal with that. It's so frustrating. He did say that it was very hard for his ex to understand that and he needs someone that can.. and I dunno if I can, IF we end up together.. not that I want to. I mean.. I have excess baggage with me and that is always not good. I can't actually say I love him bcoz I don't. I do like him very much but that's just it.. we don't have the opportunity to go out often to actually start something. Plus, I still love Amir.. I mean.. I was with him for 2 yrs and he didn't do anything wrong and when I say love... it's more of how an ex feels for the ex... okay, not making much sense here.. forget it! It's so freaking cold here, my fingers are freezing and I can't even type properly and my brain is not functioning well.. hehe.. has it always been?

Hawaii

Arrghhh!! I can't wait to go to Hawaii to visit Sam!!! Sam! Quick.. save up, honeylove!! I'm spending 2 weeks there!! Haahaha..

Today, I'm hanging out with Dila. Hehe.. yeah, being a good foster sister here.. ryteee....

Sam a.k.a Bonnie.. miss ya babe!! Btw, this super foxy lady is so FOXY and HOT!

I seriously have nothing brilliant to say.. becoz I'm high.. had 2 cans of Coke.. hahahaa.. wwoohoo! Later...

heylow

Just another boring Saturday.

Watched 'Princess Diaries 2' last Friday. It was good.. not bad.

Am thinking of watching 'Aliens Vs. Predator' on Monday.. see how things go..

Later..

finally!

I know i know.. I haven't been updating. I am very well aware of that. Things are really picking up for me. Work has kept me busy and I kinda like the situation now although I wish I would be more busy than ever. Why? Ppl are constantly (my frens, that is) complaining that they don't have enough time to watch a movie, go out and have drinks or just sit on the couch and catch up on TV programmes... and here I am, having a job that doesn't require me to be on my toes 24/7 and AM complaining about not being busy enough.. I love my job, no doubt there but the reason why I wanna be more busy is probably becoz I don't have to think about one stupid problem that is/has been on my mind since May and now, to top that... I am kinda thinking about someone.. and hello, I sooo don't wanna be thinking about him becoz it won't get me anywhere. Numsayin? No, u don't. Anyway, my line of job, gives me perfect freedom.. I get to arrange appts according to my liking and i can even choose to work on weekends.. or not.. see.. I love my job but.. sigh.. human beings are never satisfied are they?

I have a BBQ to go to this Saturday. It's Tina's birthday (which actually falls on the 21st Sept.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) and I haven't decided who to go with (ckp mcm bagus.. like a lot of guys I can choose to go with!!).

I got to know this really phat gal from Canada, her name is Sam. She's super cool. It's great to know that someone who is thousands and thousands of miles away is always there to hear u rant about anything and everything. Yeah, I know I am always ranting here (when I have the time) but it's different when u have someone u can talk to.. in our case, email. She's moving to Hawaii (am praying she gets to.. SOON!) and I'm gonna make sure I get my sweet-ass (hahaha) there as soon as I can. Funny thing is, our friendship started with a testimonial she wrote for me in Hi5.. which, we do not know any shit about each other at all.. and me being me, decided to reply the testimonial and boom! We formed a beautiful friendship.. trust me, I'm sure (very sure) she feels the same way! Hahah..

Well, I think that's about it. I gotta email Sam back now. Will write more... some other day?

13 days later..

I haven't had the time to update. Nothing much to ypdate pun. I will be busy in the next 2 weeks.. maybe less. I was with MY Cola last week for 5 days. It was all good.. extremely tiring tho but it was good. Amir surprised me by coming over. Had lunch with him. It was sweet of him.

Amir will be going back to Canada on the 3rd Sept. I think he'll only come back to Malaysia in April.. again for his summer break. Hehe.. we're so getting on each other's case.. not in the negative way.. he's trying to push me to ask someone to accompany me to Adli's wedding and I'm trying to get him to call D and ask her out for a movie. Just so that she'll forget E!!! Hehehehehe...

I havent't heard from Nick for a very long time! Kinda miss him. Hope he's having a good time.

I have to get ready now. Later..

Out with Tina

So.. we as in Tina and I, were suppose to go to the gym. A'an got sick so he couldn't come along so we decided to catch a movie after lunch. Off we went to our 'second home' - OU and had lunch there. Amir joined us for lunch so we talked and talked then instead of catching a movie, Tina and I played pool. Yes.. we change our minds like we change our BFs.. ahahhahaa... NOT!!! U can say we're pretty fickle. Actually Ms Tina wants to wait for Mr Fairul to watch I, Robot. Fiiinneee.. I've seen it already so takpelah.

I got to know this guy named .. I don't know if I should mention his name.. hehe (I don't even know why I'm not putting his name). Been talking a lot on the phone. Not that that's unusual... okay, so where am I getting at here? Nvm.

Hmm.. so okay, I think this is it for now. A lot of things I would like to write but time does not permit me to do so. Bla bla bla....

Elsa, if u're reading this... I'll change the url later k? So susahlah this keyboard. Catch up with u soon. ;)

Good day!

I haven't been much of a blogger lately. Don't really have anything to write about except the usual boring stuff I do at home and work. Not that it isn't interesting. It isn't actually but somehow there are ppl out there who'd love to know. LOL. I'm so full of myself. Hehehe. No, I'm not but I am a pain in the ass.. no.. not really.

I had a good day, actually I had a great day last Saturday. :)

After almost one year (maybe less..) of not beeing able to hang out with Lynne, I finally  got the chance to hang out with her today. K and Lynne picked me up and hung out at home for a bit then headed to OU coz I was craving for waffles on a stick and Teppanyaki so we had exactly that and in that order!. Wooohhoo!! I'm so full! I had a good time. It is sooo great to see them both and Lynne and I sang in the car. Hehe. We haven't done that for such a long time. I missed the time when I performed in front of hundreds of ppl with Lynne.. and another gal, which I can't remember (actually trying to forget her!). 

I saw this really gorgeous pair of earrings the last time I went to OU and decided to get them but when we decided to make a move, it was almost closing time so I didn't get them. Bummer! Oh well, I'd probably go there again one of these days.. maybe 2mrw.. hehe.. so will probably get them then.

Something's really bugging me lately. I don't even know how to put it in words or I think it's more of the fact that I don't even think it's worth thinking about... err.. yeah, I think that it is. Or is it not?? Think I'm gonna go think about the whole thing.. again.. and see if it's worth puring it out here. Okie dokie. Time to go. Need to get some work done! Later...

Bonnie, thanks for dropping by. You're such a sweetheart!

Trying it out

OH GOD!! This is sooo frustrating! I wrote a long entry and my stupid PC had to crash! &*^%$%*%*^*&(*$#!!! Okay, that's me.. cursing!

Arrghh!! I have no time, it's more of.. I HAVE NO FREAKING MOOD to re-write my entry. I just have to say this tho.. I had a great surprise yesterday and it was really sweet of Amir. :)

On a more serious note, (read: work) I have to scout for singers. Not well-known-I'm-a-DIVA kinda singer but underground or those who can sing but hasn't gotten a record deal. No, I'm not offering a recording contract but one of my clients want someone to sing at her wedding. So, whoever is reading this, email me if u're interested. No bands. Only solo singers. Preferably those into R&B. Guys are welcomed. ;) LOL. She's paying good money so brush on ur vocals, ppl!!

An Outing

I met up with Amir yesterday. Nick was suppose to meet up with us to get him a cellphone. But he had a last minute meeting so we waited just in case he finished early but alas, he didn't. So Amir was stuck with me. We hung out at CB, it was almost 6 or so when we decided to make a move. Decided to check out Ninie at Be Elementz, coincidently she was about to go for her break so Amir and I accompanied her. Left OU around 7pm.

It was good to see him. Good looking as usual. Hair's long. Hehe. He wore this white nehru shirt. Sigh. So comel. He looks really good. I'm sure in no time, he'll find someone new. Yeah.. gals were so checking him out!!

Anyway, Nick hasn't called. Amir and I are hoping that he'll get himself a bloody cellphone so we both can check on him now and then or whenever we want to. He's pretty upset with the whole craziness that is going on but frankly speaking, I think it's for the best. He should really take a long break and re-think about the whole situation. Why do I say that? Becoz he totally jumped into the whole engagement thing.. he was seeing someone else before that and all of a sudden, he wants to get engage to another gal? Now he's all messed up and I don't like the way he's handling his problems. Amir would probably agree on this. I know he needs someone to talk to ryte now but that's the thing, he doesn't call. We can't get hold of him. I'm pretty worried..

Not Today

I don't think I have much to say at the moment. Am trying to figureout image hosting, bla bla bla.. Will write later..

Dwelling

Everything begins win ur mind : how u see urself, how u see others and how u see life. One does not eliminate problems and obstacles just by thinking about it. Ur ability to master ur life depends very much upon ur mindset and attitudes.

Everyone wants change for the better : invariabll, we voice out concern about a better job, a better life, environmental degradation, overpopulation, political instability, crime and so on. But these are the consequences and not the cause, the manisfestations, not the malady. When things are not the way they should be, human beings become insecure. In order to survive, everybody tries to secure their position and in the process, most of them compromise their ideals and values. Instead of tapping into our inner resources of spiritual power, we easily succumb to the escape routes and momentary solutions that we had been using before - we blame or point at something or somebody out there. And sadly the obstacles in our way will never be overcome, becoz we are constantly dwelling on hatred and self-loathing.

I didn't know that..

Shaking ur head from side to side means "no" in most countries but "yes" in Bulgaria and Sri Lanka.

In South America, Southern Europe, and many Arab countries, touching another person is a sign of warmth and frenship. In the Orient, it is considered an invasian of privacy.

In Norway or Malaysia, it's rude to leave something on ur plate when eating (really??); in Egypt, it's rude not to leave something on ur plate.

A door-to-door salesperson might find it tough going to Italy, where it is improper for a man to call on a woman if she's home alone.

Never and Always

I don't even know what's going on now. I'm so confused. I want my name to be cleared up but can it really be? I don't feel like doing anything. Blogging, outings, eat, sleep.. I watch TV but my mind is elsewhere. Everyone seems to have a good day everyday.. but me? I'm left with my own thots about everything that's happening. Yeah, don't think about it, u say? It's easier said than done. I dunno.. I'm so clueless.

When ppl see me in a negative way, or misjudge or listen to the other side of the story but not mine, I never win. Never. I'm always the one they leave behind. Always.

Just So Wrong

Everything is so wrong. Ppl misjudging me. Work is screwed up. Too much for me to handle.
It's funny how someone can change their minds of u just because they misunderstood things. Maybe it is my fault. I think it is. It's always and always will be my fault!

Tired.. Sleepy.. Cranky....

I brought Dila to the Cheer 2004. It was great. I have to say, better than last year. The crowd was fantastic! The participants? They were awesome. Except from a couple of skools. I won't mention the name of this paricular skool, but the cheers and routines were pretty funny. I have respect for them tho, they had the guts to enter the competition. Amir's ex-gf's skool was one of the participants. They were.. not bad. It was funny to see their faces when they didn't win first place becoz before my cousin's skool performed, semua mcm bagus!! Sri Bintang Utara, my cousin was from that skool and last year, she was one of the cheerleaders, altho I'm not quite sure if I got the name of the skool right but their performance was AWESOME! They rocked the stadium with their slick and well choreographed. Assunta's Phoenix was good. They were impressive but towards the end of their cheer, one or two of them fell... too bad. I think they were pretty great. The event started at 9am but we went around 11-ish, so we missed few of the performances, one of them, the Vulcanz boys team. Seafield Sec. Skool. Yeap, boys team.. hey, they were awesome man! They won the Best Newcomer title. Phat! I really liked their steps. Not bad for a newcomer. Too bad they're not that cute.. okay, well, I didn't really take a good look at them but I guess some of them are but I can't be bothered. They're younger than I am. I met Aznee (Ninie) there. We were walking towards the main entrance to wait for my bro, and I heard someone called out my name. I was so afraid to look up coz I was so not in the mood to bump or meet anyone but I had to.. so yeah, it was Ninie.. hehe.. tapi it was so good to see her. She's sooo cute!!! If only I had a younger bro aged between 20 to 22, I would have introduced her to him. Sigh. Promised her that I'd have coffee with her one of these days. Yeah, haven't had that in a while with a gf so I might make some time for her real soon.

Rangga said I haven't been myself lately. I think so too but I seriously don't know what's bothering me... I'm pretty messed up ryte now. I don't even feel like writing much today.

Abg El will be leaving for Dubai on the 3rd July for a week. But if everything goes well, he'll be going for good a month after he comes back. I don't know how would I end up not having him around...

Restless Day

I don't feel good. I don't know. Maybe it's just me but I just don't feel good about today.

Anyway, promised Dila I'd take her to Cheer 2004 tomorrow at Bkt. Jalil. Some of my juniors called this morning and wanted to know if I'll be there. Yeap, definitely. Can;t wait to catch up with them..

Will write more later. Gotta cook lunch today.. hehe.

She Came and She Left

I can't write in details ryte now what happened a couple of hours ago. I've never in my life been so afraid. I can't take this anymore. I know this sounds weird but believe me, if u know the whole story.. it isn't. Not at all. I think twice is enough for it to happen to me..

Psychoanalytic Psychology

Sigmund Freud put the European scientific world in an uproar with his unorthodox views of human behaviour. Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, not only suggested that much of human behaviour is the result of thots, fears, and wishes, he also suggested that ppl are often unaware of these motivating forces eventho they have a strong effect on their behaviour. Freud argued that many, if not most, of these thots and wishes result from our experiences during infancy and early childhood. The greatest outcry of criticism came when he suggested that infants have sexual fantasies about their parents. Freud's ideas had a tremendous influence on psychology. Because of his early work was aimed at explaining emotional disorders, psychoanalytic theory has played a central role in understanding and treating psychological disorders.

I know some ppl wish they're Einstein.. I wish I was Freud.

This is MY Stitch!