Today I feel so lethargic. My body feels heavy. All I wanna do is to stay in bed. No work. No outing. No phone calls. No TV. Nothing. Zilch!
But of course, I am at work now. Not in bed. I wish I was. I should have just stayed in bed! Why did I even got up and went through my daily morning routine and came to work??
Because I am me. The responsible person that I am. Always thinking about other people. It's not fair of me to let my colleague do half of my part and more.
I wish I was a little irresponsible.
No, not really. I don't think I would like being irresponsible. I do wonder sometimes, how some people can be so irresponsible. How do they live with themselves that way? It's utterly mind-boggling!
Oh well, this is just another day for me. A new week. Hopefully it will be a good one!
Cheers!
Monday, May 21, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
My Seduction Style
| Your Seduction Style: Prized Object |
 The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get. You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them. The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase. You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away. You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance. Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't! You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors. Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor. You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for. |
Keys To My Heart
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
A year older or wiser?
In less than 5 months I will turn 27. It has been 10 years since the last time I was in school. 10 years. Wow. 20 years ago, I was seven. First year in primary school. I remember my first brother, Eddie sent me to school every day. He would wait for me outside my class. Every day. Don’t remember for how long he did that. He’d wait for me for lunch break, make friends with my classmates – for me, of course! – then when lunch break is over, he would walk me to class and wait outside till my day is over. Yup, he did that for me, every day. I don’t think he did that for months, maybe only for the first 2 weeks of Primary One.
Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.
Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean that romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.
But that changed as well when I started seeing Amir in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. Amir is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends. I should find him a hot girl. A really nice and hot girl because a man like him, deserves that. Hate to see a great guy like that single and not having anyone to love or be loved.
Secondary school was just fine for me. If anyone were to ask me, when was the best moment of my school life, I would say when I was in Primary Six. That was the best year ever! I found my best friends that year that lasted me through half of secondary life, not for long but they were still my best friends. If I could turn back time, I would go to that year and relive it again. At 12, life taught me a lot of things. That was when I know what back-stabbing is all about. What it feels like to be an outcast and to be part of ‘the popular’ clique later on. At twelve, I started flirting, I think that has always been in me! I remember, us girls, we would have a thick book and we’d pass around to other school mates to write their biodatas in it and we’d have a ‘crush session’. That was where everyone wrote which boy or girl they have a crush on. I would flip through all pages to see if the boy I had a crush on has my name written next to his! LOL. And boy, did I find more than one admirer!! It really brightens up my day, thinking back those times. It was good times.
Being 26 is not that bad. What have I learnt since 12? Too many things. Some things I didn’t even want to know, I came to know. Feelings I did not want to have, I have felt. I believe the past made me who I am today. I don’t think I would have been patient with so many people if I had not gone through those rough times which I am not going to elaborate on. I don’t think I would be so strong now if I had not had my heart broken 3 times. I think I had my heart broken more often by girls than guys. I don’t mean that romantically but in terms of friendship. Over the years, I have gained and lost so many friends. Mostly girls. Sometimes I wonder, is it me or them? If it was me, they wouldn’t come back, would they? That’s the problem. They always come back for a second chance but it’s just not the same anymore, is it? I just can’t bring myself to be close and share parts of my life that they left behind because they heard some stupid rumours etc. Being in situations like that so many times have taught me to be more careful when it comes to choosing friends. I stopped believing in having a bestfriend when I was 20.
But that changed as well when I started seeing Amir in 2002. We dated for 2 and half years. After that, we became bestfriends. He is the best buddy I have ever had. Well, best guy bestfriend! I know some of my friends, even my brothers find it hard to understand how we could still be friends and very close too. Maybe a year after we broke up, I still had feelings for him. It just doesn’t go away over night nor a few months. Not for me. But now, we are just that. Best of friends. Sure, we had arguments but give us a week and we’d be back to normal. If I was best friends with a girl, do not even expect things to go back to normal after an argument. Sure it would probably be normal for the first 2 arguments but after 4 or 5, that’s it – sworn enemies! I just don’t think I can get along well with ladies. Not for long. 2 year tops! But with a guy, it can go on forever. Amir is that guy. Always so supportive of my decisions. Always there to advice me. He’d do anything for me. Almost and I must say, so would I. We both know each other so well that it is scary. I love the fact that we both can talk about who we like romantically and not having to hide anything. I have told him about MSHM and he’s been very supportive. Our friendship is the kind of friendship, one would only find in the movies. So close and so supportive of one another, protective and all that but just really good friends. I should find him a hot girl. A really nice and hot girl because a man like him, deserves that. Hate to see a great guy like that single and not having anyone to love or be loved.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Blah
It has been a stressful week for me. Work is good but lately, the big boss has been finding faults with us. Everything is not in order or not up to par. Not up to expectation – his, of course. The smallest mistake was turned into a big one. Complaining about it over and over again. At times I feel like giving up. I feel like leaving but I have to think about Jace. Not just Jace, but it’s hard for me to leave, actually. We work so hard to get the amount of students we have now and it’s really not easy considering that we have only been operating for almost 5 months now. Come June, it will be my one year anniversary with my company. What have I learnt for the past 11 months? A lot. I have learnt from the simplest to the hardest situation to deal with.
I have forged a bond with Jace. A great one. We have shared so many ups and downs for the past 5 months. I can’t just leave her to handle everything. It’s hard enough for us now, not having enough staff and when we do get new employees, they fuck us up by leaving only after 3 days of training and believe me, working under us is not difficult. We just don’t understand why we can’t get a decent staff like Shahrul. It’s really stressing us out right now. He’s leaving in June and really, we can’t find anyone as good and reliable as he is. All we need is just 2 reliable staff and we don’t even need full time staff – a part time will do! Gggrrrr…. It is so frustrating!
The only thing that keeps me sane at the moment is the fact that I am in love now. After 3 years of refraining myself from falling for someone for fear of getting hurt, I finally open and let my guards down… well, not entirely but strong enough now to actually love again. I just thought about it, what have I got to lose? If I do get hurt again (not that I want to get hurt but..), wouldn’t it just be another experience? Wouldn’t that make me a stronger person?
All I know right this moment is that he makes me happy. It’s insane. The way we met. It’s a blessing in disguise, he said. I was asked by a close of friend of mine, who was really into him at that time to catch him out and from there on, we ended up chatting more and getting to know more of each other. Things are getting pretty intense for both of us now and it’s scary but exciting at the same time. Like how I can’t wait to see how it will end up between us…. Will it work? Or will we go our separate ways?
He makes me feel good about myself. During one of our conversations, he said I made a difference in his life - yes, I would like to believe that but it's quite impossible for me to do that to him but if he said so then I guess I did then! I call him my sexy hot man because he is and well, physical aside, he has a great personality! So what more could a girl ask for?!
I have forged a bond with Jace. A great one. We have shared so many ups and downs for the past 5 months. I can’t just leave her to handle everything. It’s hard enough for us now, not having enough staff and when we do get new employees, they fuck us up by leaving only after 3 days of training and believe me, working under us is not difficult. We just don’t understand why we can’t get a decent staff like Shahrul. It’s really stressing us out right now. He’s leaving in June and really, we can’t find anyone as good and reliable as he is. All we need is just 2 reliable staff and we don’t even need full time staff – a part time will do! Gggrrrr…. It is so frustrating!
The only thing that keeps me sane at the moment is the fact that I am in love now. After 3 years of refraining myself from falling for someone for fear of getting hurt, I finally open and let my guards down… well, not entirely but strong enough now to actually love again. I just thought about it, what have I got to lose? If I do get hurt again (not that I want to get hurt but..), wouldn’t it just be another experience? Wouldn’t that make me a stronger person?
All I know right this moment is that he makes me happy. It’s insane. The way we met. It’s a blessing in disguise, he said. I was asked by a close of friend of mine, who was really into him at that time to catch him out and from there on, we ended up chatting more and getting to know more of each other. Things are getting pretty intense for both of us now and it’s scary but exciting at the same time. Like how I can’t wait to see how it will end up between us…. Will it work? Or will we go our separate ways?
He makes me feel good about myself. During one of our conversations, he said I made a difference in his life - yes, I would like to believe that but it's quite impossible for me to do that to him but if he said so then I guess I did then! I call him my sexy hot man because he is and well, physical aside, he has a great personality! So what more could a girl ask for?!
